Talk:From Dust/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: ProtoDrake (talk · contribs) 20:34, 19 July 2016 (UTC)

I'll be back in a few days with a review. --ProtoDrake (talk) 20:34, 19 July 2016 (UTC)

Grammar

 * The project was created as a result of his fascination with volcanos, and his desire to combine the ambivalence and the violent characteristic of their nature in a new video game. - Some slightly clunsy phrasing here. I would suggest "...his desire to combine the ambivalence and violent characteristics of their nature in a new video game."
 * works of Polish painter Zdzisław Beksinski, and Koyaanisqatsi - You should probably use "the works". And if you didn't click on the link, what is Koyaanisqatsi exactly?
 * The Breath, then guides the tribe to different totems allowing them to perform rituals and to construct villages and settlements. - No comma needed here.
 * Nature and cycle were the important key elements of the game. - There seems to be a word missing here.
 * "it's just another universe, another place", something people create from dust" - Too many or too few quotation marks. Not made clear.
 * Other influences for the game include Conway's Game of Life, a mathematical model of the 1970s, plant propagations, works of Polish painter Zdzisław Beksinski, and Koyaanisqatsi. - Beksinski and Koyaanisqatsi need to be appropriately linked.
 * Late in the development cycle, journalists offered initial appraisals of the mechanics, presentation, and appeal of From Dust. Commentators praised the physics engine, god-like powers, and scripting of the computer-controlled tribes. - Completely uncited. Please add citation or remove.

Images

 * File:FromDustTsunami.png - This seems well and good, and is an acceptable alternative to using multiple individual screenshots.
 * File:Éric Chahi.jpg - From Commons, so free use okay.
 * File:YasurExplosion.jpg - In public domain so free use, but tagged for copying to Commons. Keen an eye on it.
 * File:FromDustSphere.png - Seems suitable.

References and links

 * While all references need archiving to be on the safe side, many of them are dead or redirects that require immediate archiving.
 * Edge is now dead, when archiving don't use anything prior to 2014/15 as those have a habit of redirecting to GamesRadar+.
 * Joystiq became Engadget
 * Ref 2 needs its url updating.
 * Ref 16 is dead, needs archiving.
 * Ref 19 needs its url updating.
 * The references themselves have inconsistent formatting between "work" and "publisher" sections.
 * I should also check the external link to its website.

Those are the issues I found with this otherwise fairly good article. I'm putting the nomination on hold for a while to give you time for the issues above to be addressed. --ProtoDrake (talk) 09:40, 21 July 2016 (UTC)


 * Thank you very much for the review! I have fixed the issues you have mentioned above. AdrianGamer (talk) 07:09, 22 July 2016 (UTC)
 * I've had another look through, and I guess it's alright now. Any quibbles I might have are purely stylistic now and shouldn't hold up the article any longer. I'll give this a Pass. --ProtoDrake (talk) 08:47, 22 July 2016 (UTC)