Talk:Game of Change/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: HickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk · contribs) 03:53, 19 August 2020 (UTC)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):  d (copyvio and plagiarism):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall: Pass
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall: Pass
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) Overall: Pass
 * Pass/Fail:

Lead

 * Maybe WL segregationists
 * ✅ – Iago Qnsi (User talk:IagoQnsi) 18:01, 30 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Wl Bye (sports)
 * ✅ – Iago Qnsi (User talk:IagoQnsi) 18:01, 30 August 2020 (UTC)

Background

 * The first time you mention Ramblers (out of lead) is in the second paragraph. Should probably be mentioned earlier
 * ✅ – Iago Qnsi (User talk:IagoQnsi) 18:01, 30 August 2020 (UTC)
 * I would mention On February 18, Loyola was awarded one of eleven at-large bids for the tournament before the February 28 incident
 * The Feb 28 incident was less of a singularly-important event, and more like an example of what they were facing all season. But I see how the lack of chronological order is confusing when I only touch on the discrimination aspect so briefly. I think I'm going to split the discrimination bit into its own paragraph and add more details of other incidents. I will try to add that shortly... – Iago Qnsi (User talk:IagoQnsi) 18:01, 30 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Kind of odd how the Dean W. Colvard sentence is by itself. Please either merge it or expand on it to preferably three-four sentences.
 * ✅ Good point. I've now added two sentences about the large volume of letters Colvard was receiving prior to his decision. – Iago Qnsi (User talk:IagoQnsi) 18:01, 30 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Why is reference 13 used twice for quotes? It can just be placed at the end of the second quote
 * ✅ – Iago Qnsi (User talk:IagoQnsi) 18:01, 30 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Please see Manual of Style/Words to watch. Don't love the use of In any event.
 * ✅ Changed to Regardless of why, it is clear... – Iago Qnsi (User talk:IagoQnsi) 18:01, 30 August 2020 (UTC)

Game summary

 * Why is reference 22 used twice for quotes? It can just be placed at the end of the second quote.
 * ✅ – Iago Qnsi (User talk:IagoQnsi) 18:01, 30 August 2020 (UTC)

Aftermath

 * Illinois is already WL above
 * ✅ – Iago Qnsi (User talk:IagoQnsi) 18:01, 30 August 2020 (UTC)

Legacy

 * Boxscore reference (#27) is not needed since the info is already stated in reference #26
 * ❌ Reference #27 is not strictly needed, but I wanted to include it because it provides a lot more information about the game, whereas the first reference only describes the game very briefly. – Iago Qnsi (User talk:IagoQnsi) 18:01, 30 August 2020 (UTC)
 * How can reference 28 be used to verify a fact for an event that happened after it was published?
 * I've dug up an archive link for that citation if you'd like to see for yourself. Apparently the list of inductees was announced prior to the actual induction ceremony. – Iago Qnsi (User talk:IagoQnsi) 18:01, 30 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Are two references needed to verify The team was also inducted into the Chicagoland Sports Hall of Fame on September 18, 2013?
 * ✅; removed one – Iago Qnsi (User talk:IagoQnsi) 18:01, 30 August 2020 (UTC)

Discussion
Hi HickoryOughtShirt?4; thanks for taking the time to review this! I've made most of the changes you listed, and responded inline where I haven't changed them. Cheers, Iago Qnsi  (User talk:IagoQnsi) 18:01, 30 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Thank you so much, I agree with all of your notes (including why you didn't change some things). Once the in progress incident is fixed I can pass this. HickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk) 18:15, 30 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Okay, I think the Loyola background is good to go now. I've added info about another incident, and restructured the second and third paragraphs a bit so that there's basically one paragraph about racial issues and one about basketball performance. Let me know what you think! Thanks, Iago Qnsi  (User talk:IagoQnsi) 19:56, 30 August 2020 (UTC)