Talk:George Clooney/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: XXSNUGGUMSXX (talk · contribs) 16:33, 16 June 2014 (UTC)

Overview
Prose: See below

Sourcing: See below

Coverage: See below

Neutrality: See below

Stability: No issues

GA Result: Failed. Sorry, but there are too many prose and reference issues within the article. Recommend taking to WP:GOCE before renominating. Better luck next time.

Details

 * Lead
 * Needs rearranging. The opening sentence is fine, but the awards and political activism need to go in a separate section. Talk about his acting career and perhaps directing before going into awards/politics.
 * "Dr. Douglas 'Doug' Ross" → "Dr. Doug Ross"
 * There is a missing comma between "In 1999" and "Clooney" (second paragraph)
 * "Ocean's Eleven, the first of a profitable film trilogy"..... I'm not too sure how I feel about calling it "profitable"
 * "which starred members of the Rat Pack with Frank Sinatra as Danny Ocean"..... how about simply saying Sinatra played Danny Ocean?
 * Info on engagement doesn't really belong in this section, would be better in "Relationships" subsection of "Personal life"


 * Early life
 * "Clooney's ancestry includes Irish, German, English, and more distant Scottish and Dutch roots"..... let's keep it simple with something like "Clooney has Irish, German, English, Scottish, and Dutch ancestry"
 * "his cousins include actors Miguel and Rafael Ferrer, who are the sons of his aunt, singer Rosemary Clooney, and uncle, actor José Ferrer"..... kinda lengthy, try "through Nick's sister Rosemary, he is a first cousin of actors Miguel and Rafeal Ferrer."
 * "He is also related to singer, Debby Boone, who is married to his cousin Gabriel Ferrer"..... commas are misplaced and sentence is a bit wordy, I'd go with just "His cousin Gabriel Ferrer is the wife of singer Debby Boone"
 * The ″ in "George would strongly defend his positions and argue logically and passionately ..... But George was never combative. He was the person you wanted to be with and laugh with" should be " per MOS:QUOTEMARKS
 * How is "Masonbuzz" a high-quality professional source?
 * Don't think we need "debilitating" in "a debilitating condition that partially paralyzes the face"
 * Daily Mirror isn't exactly a high-quality source
 * "He had odd jobs selling" would probably read better as "He made money selling"


 * Career
 * Early work
 * "Clooney's first role was as an extra in the television mini-series Centennial in 1978"..... extra what?
 * "His first significant break"..... "significant" here seems POV, try "His first prominent role" or "His first major role" or "His first successful role"


 * Breakthrough
 * "Clooney achieved note when he played"..... rose to fame when he played


 * 2000–present
 * add something to this subsection's title other than year span
 * Four images is a bit much, remove one or two of them (take your pick as to which)
 * You don't need "commercially successful" in "Clooney starred in the commercially successful films The Perfect Storm and O Brother, Where Art Thou?"
 * I'm skeptical about "Jackass critics"
 * "and many other awards" doesn't sound very encyclopedic, try "along with other awards"
 * Just link Leatherheads once in this section per WP:OVERLINK
 * Not too sure about the credibility of "TopSynergy.com"


 * Political views
 * In the U.S.
 * Maybe go into his stance on gay rights with quotes
 * A better source than "Entertainmentwise" is needed
 * There's an extra period after the finishing quote that needs to be removed
 * Is "WorldNetDaily" reliable?


 * Humanitarian work
 * "which collected donations for the 2010 Haiti earthquake victims" needs to be sourced
 * I'm skeptical about "PinkNews"


 * Darfur
 * "In September of the same year" → "That September"
 * "he sent an open letter to German Chancellor Angela Merkel"..... what exactly is an "open letter" supposed to be?
 * "He narrated and was co-executor producer"..... co-executive producer
 * "Clooney and John Prendergast co-wrote a Washington Post op-ed piece in May 2011" → "In May 2011, Clooney and John Prendergast wrote in an article for The Washington Post
 * "On January 18, 2008, the United Nations announced Clooney's appointment as a UN messenger of peace, effective January 31" → "On January 18, 2008, the United Nations appointed Clooney as a UN messenger of peace".
 * "Clooney conceived of and, with John Prendergast, human rights activist, co-founder of the Enough Project, and Strategic Advisor for Not On Our Watch Project, initiated the Satellite Sentinel Project (SSP), after an October 2010 trip to South Sudan"..... quite a mouthful, keep it to something simple like "Clooney and human rights activist John Prendergast initiated the Satellite Sentinel Project (SSP) after visiting South Sudan in October 2010"
 * "He intended to be arrested when he planned the protest"..... let's give some details as to how/why he planned this


 * Controversy
 * How about going into what the joke was that he made about Charlton Heston and Alzheimer's?
 * "asked Clooney whether he wasn't 'going too far' with his remark"..... avoid contractions unless part of a quote or title
 * "Clooney said in 2008 he subsequently apologized to Heston in a letter"..... apologized through a letter
 * "he received a nice response from Heston's wife"..... "nice response" seems POV
 * In "Who would name their kid Jack with the word ‘off’ at the end of your last name? No wonder that guy is screwed up!", the ′ should be ' per MOS:QUOTEMARKS
 * Per WP:OVERCITE, a ref doesn't need to be used more than once in a row per paragraph, so just use ref#76 at the end of the very third paragraph


 * Personal life
 * Relationships
 * I don't think you need to include the nationalities of his girlfriends in this section
 * I'm not too sure if "Access Hollywood" is a good source
 * "Clooney's sexual orientation has been the subject of media scrutiny"..... how about "The media has often questioned Clooney's sexual preference"?
 * "When asked about the subject in an interview with The Advocate, Clooney stated," → "When The Advocate asked him about his sexuality, Clooney responded"
 * In "The last thing you’ll ever see me do is jump up and down, saying, ‘These are lies!’ That would be unfair and unkind to my good friends in the gay community. I’m not going to let anyone make it seem like being gay is a bad thing.", the ′ should be ' per MOS:QUOTEMARKS
 * "Clooney became engaged to British-Lebanese human rights lawyer Amal Alamuddin on April 28, 2014, as confirmed by a representative at Alamuddin's law firm Doughty Street Chambers"..... keep it to something simple like "On April 28, 2014, Clooney became engaged to human rights lawyer Amal Alamuddin".


 * Real estate
 * Interesting details on how he has multiple homes, so maybe some detail on how/when he got those properties would be nice


 * Motorcycle accident
 * Let's give some detail on how the medical staff looking at his records was illegal


 * Pets
 * I frankly don't see the need for this section- rather trivial
 * Metro and "Celebrity Dog Watcher" are questionable sources at best


 * In the media
 * "Clooney is one of three people to have been given the title of "Sexiest Man Alive" twice by People Magazine; first in 1997 and again in 2006"..... not that this is badly sourced or anything, but doesn't really fit in with the rest of the text in this section, same with "He has appeared in commercials outside the US for Fiat, Nespresso, and Martini vermouth" also doesn't really fit in
 * How about going more into what Time has said of him?
 * This section in general seems to be all over the place. Try to have paragraphs dedicated to certain aspects of his media image (i.e. one paragraph for his influence on society, one paragraph for how he is seen as a sex symbol, one paragraph for spoofs of him)


 * Awards and honors
 * This section is blank aside from a referral link. Try writing a paragraph or two summarizing his major career achievements (i.e. some info on his Academy Awards and Golden Globe Awards).


 * Filmography
 * Another blank section aside from a referral link. Add some films he acted in here.

As a general note: printed sources should be italicized, non-printed sources should not be italicized. When using multiple articles from a source (i.e. multiple refs from Entertainment Weekly), link the work in the first ref it is used and not the rest
 * References
 * ref#3 only links to website's main page
 * Hitfix should not read "Hitfix.com"
 * Time (magazine) should be italicized and not be in all-caps
 * "Cfr.org" should read "Council on Foreign Relations"
 * CNN should not be italicized
 * The Washington Post should be italicized
 * Entertainment Weekly should be italicized
 * Esquire should be italicized
 * "Catholic Herald" should read The Catholic Herald and be italicized
 * Parade (magazine) should be italicized
 * "The Telegraph" should read The Daily Telegraph and be italicized
 * ref#26 (Clooneystudio.com) is giving a blank page
 * "Boxofficemojo.com" should read Box Office Mojo
 * "Deadline.com" should not be italicized
 * ref#45 is missing is work (politico)
 * "NotOnOurWatchProject.org" should read "Not On Our Watch"
 * ref#55 (monstersandcritics) is dead
 * Variety (magazine) should be italicized
 * ref#58 (CBS News) is dead
 * ref#59 (marketwire) is dead
 * "FOXNews.com" should read
 * ref#73 (thebostonchannel) is dead
 * ref#75 (People) is dead
 * "news.com.au" should read "News Online
 * ref#90 (VOA News) is dead
 * The Guardian should be italicized
 * BBC should not be italicized


 * External links
 * Most of the links used here aren't generally used for such a section. IMDb and subject's website are generally used for this section in BLP's, perhaps Rotten Tomatoes as well, but not the others I see here.