Talk:George Hammond (Stargate)/GA1

GA Review
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Lead
Hammond retires off-screen in the final seasons of Stargate SG-1.

Which season?


 * Tweaked. Speculation/Implication is in the 9th season, but it's only confirmed in season 10.

he character's death is mentioned in the Stargate Atlantis series finale, "Enemy at the Gate"

You need to wikilink Stargate Atlantis

Don S. Davis left the regular role after the seventh season of SG-1 due to health problems, but recurred in later seasons as well as in one Atlantis season 1 episode.

Don't use "recurred", try "appeared". Also, is Atlantis a new show or what?
 * A spinoff show. I attempted to clarify that.

Role in Stargate
First off, you don't actually have to cite the TV series (AFAIK), since it is assumed that the plot details will come from the series anyway.
 * Better safe than sorry. The refs are used to identify the series (the character appeared in two), the episodes if it isn't already present in the prose, and to provide dialog for backing up assertions (no one remembers character-specific details from 300+ episodes). – sgeureka t•c 10:58, 13 March 2009 (UTC)

''Hammond appears in the season 1 episode "Home" of Stargate Atlantis, and recurs in seasons 8 through 10 of Stargate SG-1. ''

Again, don't use "recurs".

Now then, I think that this section is way too short. He appeared in so many season, yet you have basically nothing about what happened. You mention the introduction of his character, then skip to the finale of S7. What in the world happened in the meantime?
 * This is because he basically did nothing for 130 episodes but say "I'd like to discuss this week's mission, SG-1", "Godspeed, SG-1", "Welcome back, SG-1". The only episodes that stand out are "Chain Reaction" and his off-world/outer-space experiences (although he didn't do anything special there either than give orders). But these special episodes are already mentioned.

Conceptual history
At the time, Davis had become burnt out from teaching acting classes at the University of British Columbia for ten years

Try a less informal phrase then "burnt out".
 * Per Burnout (psychology), "burnout" seems like a well-accepted term for the psychological phenomenon. I have tweaked the sentence to "suffer burnout", but I don't know if that's better.

Review 2
Well, pretty fast response. However...

''General George Hammond' is a fictional character in the Stargate franchise. Played by Don S. Davis, General Hammond serves as the commander of Stargate Command in the first seven seasons of the television series Stargate SG-1.''

Boldface should only be used for the article name. Other than this, it looks fine.

Noble Story (talk • contributions) 12:29, 13 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Typo fixed. – sgeureka t•c 20:54, 13 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Well then, looks like a winner to me. Noble Story (talk • contributions) 23:29, 13 March 2009 (UTC)