Talk:George Henry Daniels/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Mike Christie (talk · contribs) 01:02, 30 August 2022 (UTC)

I'll review this. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 01:02, 30 August 2022 (UTC)

Images are appropriately tagged; I'm assuming good faith on File:20th Century Limited 604.jpg on the part of the person who moved it to Commons, since I can't tell what the ultimate source is. Sources are reliable.
 * Why are there quote fragments next to the sources? There's no need to provide source excerpts, but if you do want to the natural place would be in the footnote that relates to that information.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:00, 30 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "He was general passenger agent from 1889 to 1907": is this the right terminology? He became manager of the General Passenger Agency; that implies there were other agents to manage.
 * ✅ - Yes, I believe this to be the right terminology, Early in Mid Life I say he was a freight and passenger manager working out of Chicago. Later I say, He was also manager of the Utah Traffic League... Later I say, he was promoted to the main director of the Chicago East-bound Passenger Board and that group was of interest to the New York Central railroad lines.  Being manager of the NYC General Passenger Agency to me indicates a passenger department of NYC. In other words to me General Passenger Agency is the same as General Passenger Department, not necessarily with other agents. To me being general passenger agent from 1889 to 1907 means he was a one man manager of the department and there were no "agents" involved. As manager he certainly gave instructions to NYC employees for assignments he wanted done, but these employees were not agents. Page 18 of Kalmbach (1961) source says, "George H Daniels Daniels general passenger agent the New York Central from 1889 to 1907 was a showman with an uncanny sense of the dramatic It was he who instituted railroad red caps and started the checking service." --Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:00, 30 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "He was not only their general passenger agent but also its prophet": we can't say this in Wikipedia's voice, and in any case it's not clear what it means.
 * ✅ - copy edited accordingly, "...its advocate by promoting it through advertising."


 * "He published in newspapers how mail from Australia": suggest "He published articles in newspapers that showed how mail from Australia".
 * ✅ - copy edited accordingly... --Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:50, 30 August 2022 (UTC)
 * It now says He published articles in newspapers that showed how mail from Australia destined for London was promoted as a technological achievement. He published in newspapers how mail from Australia that had traveled by steamship to the United States was carried by railroads to the eastern region of the United States and from there sent by boat to its end destination in London, taking only 32 days. This is repetitive: suggest "He published articles in newspapers about the role of the railroads in distributing mail from Australia; the mail traveled by steamship from Australia to the United States and was then carried by railroads to the eastern United States and from there sent by boat to its end destination in London, taking only 32 days." We don't need to talk about the technology -- the next sentence mentions it. Mike Christie (talk - contribs -  library) 22:06, 30 August 2022 (UTC)
 * On second thought, I've gone ahead and made this edit myself as it's the only remaining point; so I'll be able to pass this. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 22:06, 30 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "With his publicity he showed the world the technology of steam trains in the United States and the products of American resourcefulness and inventiveness": again we can't say this in Wikipedia's voice. Suggest "With his publicity, his goal was to show the world the technology of steam trains in the United States and the products of American resourcefulness and inventiveness".
 * ✅ - copy edited accordingly... --Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:55, 30 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "The magazine advertised in other publications and said that in every one of its issues there were more than twenty articles and 100 illustrations and produced about 1,500 pictures in a year. It claimed that it had quality articles on history and geography that would be a good supplement to school lessons". I would cut this; it's trivia from their own advertising.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:12, 30 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "The magazine continued to be published in some form or adaptation until 2003 under ''Travel and Travel Holiday": d
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:12, 30 August 2022 (UTC)
 * I've reinstated this; I was halfway through writing a note about this and then copyedited it myself, and didn't delete this note, which you (not unreasonably) assumed was a note to delete. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 22:06, 30 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "Being issued in 1901, it was one of the first stamps available in the 20th century." Trivia; I would cut it.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:12, 30 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "The Limited was inaugurated between New York and Chicago on June 15 in 1902 as the train ahead of its time by a hundred years": is the last phrase taken from publicity of the time? If so I would put it in quotes.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:12, 30 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "It reflected the hope that it could be the originator and pioneer of a new era in high-speed rail transportation." Seems like vague ad-speak -- the source doesn't really say this directly. I suggest cutting this.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:21, 30 August 2022 (UTC)


 * "He was called the "Father of the Century" since he brought to fruition through his efforts of publicity ingenuity and leadership of the advertisement for the New York Central lines, especially the 20th Century Limited and its elegant luxury service": suggest cutting this to "He was called the "Father of the Century" for his work on publicizing the train".
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 10:15, 30 August 2022 (UTC)

-- Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 01:31, 30 August 2022 (UTC)
 * Thanks for review. I'll get started on the issues.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 09:51, 30 August 2022 (UTC)
 * All issues have been addressed. Can you take another look. Thanks.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:21, 30 August 2022 (UTC)

Passing; see above for a note. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 22:06, 30 August 2022 (UTC)
 * I put it in "Business people", not Transport; it seemed a better fit. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 22:12, 30 August 2022 (UTC)