Talk:George S. Armstrong/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Sainsf (talk · contribs) 04:24, 23 March 2016 (UTC)

Hi! I will be reviewing this. Sainsf &lt;^&gt; Feel at home 04:24, 23 March 2016 (UTC)

Lead

 * Can "Canadian" be linked to "Canada"?
 * I think the lead should be shortened at least by a para; it seems too large for the size of the article. Try to keep only the most important points. You may see WP:MOSLEAD.
 * After dabbling into politics I think "entering politics" would sound more proper
 * done


 * You use "he would" in most places. I am not very sure, but would it not be better to use simple past?
 * done


 * Can we link pharmaceutical, alderman, plebiscite ?
 * the 1910 municipal election Any link possible?
 * Uncontested as only  "the" only?
 * Done


 * for the coming year of 1911 You need not say 1911, it is understood.
 * edited


 * During the term, he several issues were brought up to council's attention Is there some error here or is something missing?

Early life and career

 * After attending schooling I think it could simply be "after schooling".
 * "Teacher" does not need a link
 * done (not sure why it was linked)


 * his brother, Gordon Was he elder or younger to Gordon?

Early political career

 * second in a field of twelve candidates We typically keep numbers more than ten in digits
 *  He would later decide on running, running  can we avoid repeating "running"?
 * Edmonton is a duplink

First mayoral term, 1911

 * George V's coronation  Should "c" of coronation be in caps?
 * "Amalgamate" should be linked in the earlier section, at first mention, not here
 * Gas need not be linked. Rather link gas plant
 * Duplink: North Saskatchewan River
 * the last two are done

Second term in office, 1912

 * for that particular election Mention the election name when you begin the section
 * Why is Sunday linked and why is "s" in caps?
 * Not sure why it was linked but if I understand correctly it should be in caps
 * Sorry, I was wrong about the "S". Sainsf  &lt;^&gt; Feel at home 03:53, 7 April 2016 (UTC)


 * He returned to the operations of his drug store after leaving office. Source?

Post mayoral career

 * The accusations should be mentioned in the lead.

Personal life

 * Greenock, Bruce, Ontario, Canada could be shortened
 * Done - I still kept the mention of Bruce County in it as the township was later amalgamated into one that's in Bruce County presently


 *  the hospital board What is it?
 * Changed to "a hospital board" - sorry, I can't seem to find specifics


 *  Presbyterian Church  link?

That should be all. Good luck! Sainsf &lt;^&gt; Feel at home 05:56, 23 March 2016 (UTC)
 * You there? If there is no response within a week of the start of the review I will have to fail this nomination. Sainsf  &lt;^&gt; Feel at home 10:07, 26 March 2016 (UTC)
 * - sorry, very busy at the moment and had totally forgotten that this was up. Will take a look hopefully in the next week. Thanks! Connormah (talk) 19:49, 26 March 2016 (UTC)

There has been no response from your side since 6th this month. If you do not respond within 5 days from now, I will be forced to fail this nomination. Sainsf &lt;^&gt; Feel at home 13:00, 10 April 2016 (UTC)
 * - got a few more done yesterday and will hopefully finish off sometime this week. Stay tuned. Connormah (talk) 07:20, 12 April 2016 (UTC)
 * Most things are now done. Connormah (talk) 01:33, 16 April 2016 (UTC)
 * Thanks for working on the appropriate points. May I know if we can add a line on the accusations to the lead? I think it is an important point in his biography, what is your idea? The first and the second paras of the lead could be merged, the former looks too short. Sainsf  &lt;^&gt; Feel at home 05:46, 16 April 2016 (UTC)
 * I'm open to ideas about the lead. If you want to have a go at it then go ahead. I've tinkered but can't really get anything that satisfies me. Connormah (talk) 18:21, 17 April 2016 (UTC)
 * Not an issue really, just wished to hear what you would say. This article looks tasty for promotion. Awesome job! Sainsf  &lt;^&gt; Feel at home 03:32, 18 April 2016 (UTC)