Talk:Girl Gone Wild/GA2

GA Review
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Reviewer: SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 23:54, 18 July 2014 (UTC)

Overview
Prose: See below Resolved

Sourcing: See below Resolved

Coverage: No issues

Neutrality: No issues

Stability: No issues

GA Result: On hold for seven days Passed

Details

 * Lead
 * Alle Benassi should link to Allessandro Benassi
 * The Benassis are first said to be cousins, but then they're said to be brothers. Please don't say they're one thing and later call them another.
 * Actually they are professionally known as Benassi Bros. although they are cousins. I have clarified this in the lead and body now.
 * I see..... that fixup was well-needed SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 07:27, 19 July 2014 (UTC)


 * Background and release
 * See above note in lead regarding the Benassis
 * "it was commercially available for digital download from March 2, 2012 at the iTunes Store" → "it was released for digital download from iTunes on March 2, 2012"
 * I would say that consequent usage of the world release is redundant. I have removed the world commercially, since implying that a song is available for digital download is its commercial release.
 * Works for me SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 07:27, 19 July 2014 (UTC)


 * Controversy
 * Remove "Finally" from "Finally, the song title was slightly modified"
 * "He continued to state that he will pursue new legal action"..... he added that he would pursue
 * TMZ (ref#12) is not a reliable source
 * Done.


 * Recording and composition
 * See above note in lead regarding the Benassis
 * As explained before.


 * "11.30 pm" → "11:30 pm"
 * "This did not pose a problem in stereo sound, but with mono sounds the combined vocals appeared double tracked while the vocal level decreased. The mixing was done mainly for stereo speakers and around the 1:45–2:00 mark, the vocal levels fluctuate with the backing music being dwarfed"..... in its current state, readers might not automatically know these are from the Sound on Sound review. Make note that it is Mike Senior's thoughts by either including his name or putting some of this in quotes
 * Added once before the second explanation.


 * "It has references"..... I think makes or contains would be better
 * "which is a Catholic term appropriated as a sexual reference"..... reads awkwardly
 * used?
 * looks better now SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 07:27, 19 July 2014 (UTC)


 * Critical reception
 * "track,describing"..... needs space after the comma
 * remove the comma from "Laurence Green from musicOMH, believed"
 * "praised the track calling it"..... needs comma after "track"
 * "praised Benassi's production"..... since Matthew Parpetua is referring to both Alle and Benny, let's go with "praised the Benassis' production"
 * The Guardian should only be linked in its first mention per WP:OVERLINK
 * "exampled the lyrics 'Girls they just wanna have some fun/ Get fired up like a smoking gun' as a factor of this"..... cited..... as an example
 * "calling it as 'yawning Catholic-girl-in-heat'"..... a yawning.....


 * Music video
 * Background and development
 * "in their appearance with muscular body"..... bodies
 * Specify who "Tabitha" is
 * She choreographed, its added.


 * Analysis and reception
 * *"listed the five main influences"..... I think "observed five main influences" or "analyzed five main influences" would be better


 * Live perfromances
 * "play on with the concept of a Catholic church"..... experiment with or incorporate the concept would be better
 * ref#98 (AllMusic) is dead
 * No?
 * Interestingly, Checklinks said it was dead earlier but is now saying that the San Jose Mercury News link (ref#103) is dead


 * References
 * "Buzz Media" should link to Spin Media in ref#4 (Idolator)
 * See Talk:Girl Gone Wild/GA1 for this or you mean something else?
 * I mean to have it like this: Buzz Media SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 07:27, 19 July 2014 (UTC)


 * "On" should not be capitalized for Sound on Sound (ref#17)
 * unlink Mortimer Zuckerman and Daily News (New York) in ref#77
 * in ref#86, change "E! Online" to match the other refs to E!
 * in ref#99, change "Guardian News and Media" to match the other refs to The Guardian

, done with all. Take a look. — Indian: BIO  · [ ChitChat  ] 04:58, 19 July 2014 (UTC)
 * (Applauds) I'm quite happy to say that this was in MUCH BETTER condition when I took up this review than it was during its first nomination, and now we're nearly there :D! Like before, prose was my biggest concern. SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 07:27, 19 July 2014 (UTC)
 * , that Spin media link was already done and San Jose link is already working fine. I think Checklinks is acting funny somehow. — Indian: BIO  · [ ChitChat  ] 08:08, 19 July 2014 (UTC)
 * I looked at San Jose myself. Checklinks definitely is doing weird things right now. In any case, I'm now listing this as GA, congratulations! SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 13:13, 19 July 2014 (UTC)