Talk:Girls (Jennifer Lopez song)/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Kyle Peake (talk · contribs) 12:00, 3 May 2020 (UTC)

Second GA review to be opened by me today, will make comments shortly with pride! --Kyle Peake (talk) 12:00, 3 May 2020 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Target streaming to Streaming media
 * ✅ → Lil- ℧niquԐ1 - ( Talk ) -


 * Change Capitol to Capitol Records in the infobox
 * ❌ per Template:Infobox_song, we drop the "records" part of the label name so I'm not sure what you mean as Capitol is piped to Capitol Records → Lil- ℧niquԐ1 - ( Talk ) -


 * Target Mustard's real name mention to Mustard (record producer)
 * ✅, hadn't realised his name changed so this has been done. → Lil- ℧niquԐ1 - ( Talk ) -


 * Wikilink Jennifer Lopez under writers to her page
 * ❌, per WP:OVERLINK, she is already linked once in the infobox and in the lead, further links aren't needed.


 * "recorded by American singer Jennifer Lopez, taken from her eighth studio album, A.K.A. (2014)." → "by American musician Jennifer Lopez from her eighth studio album, A.K.A. (2014)." since this is more of a rap song so name her as a "musician"
 * ❌, the nature of the song doesn't determine the person's profession. She is a singer primarily (vocals) not a musician as this would imply she plays musical instruments other than using her vocals which she doesn.
 * Change the other parts but keep as "American singer" then. --Kyle Peake (talk) 15:16, 3 May 2020 (UTC)
 * ✅ done? → Lil- ℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * The second sentence should be in the second para exactly before the one about versions of A.K.A. that include it
 * ✅, done by rewriting this section, addressed all of these points → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * Make the first para's fourth sentence mention the song being released as a promotional single from the album on January 22, 2014
 * ✅, done by rewriting this section, addressed all of these points → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * The info about writing and production should come directly after the first sentence now, which covers sentences two and three
 * ✅, done by rewriting this section, addressed all of these points → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * "the song's producer Dijon "DJ Mustard" McFarlane, with" → "DJ Mustard, with" since we know he's the producer
 * ✅, dealt with all the points about by rewriting the intro.


 * Add wikilink on Trevor Muzzy
 * ✅, → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * The beginning sentence of the second para works fine in terms of not being overly repetitive, since it is giving more context on the release
 * ✅ → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * Mention the hip hop and R&B info in the lead
 * ✅ → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * Follow on this by mentioning the song's meaning
 * ✅ → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * "It received a mixed" → "The former received a mixed" elsewise seems like they are talking about "Same Girl"
 * ✅ clarified this → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * "from critics who praised the" → "from music critics, who praised its"
 * ✅ updated → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * "had limited success on the charts" → "experienced limited success on music charts"
 * ✅ updated → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * Shouldn't the chart be mentioned as Gaon?
 * ✅ updated → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * "A remix of it was released on March 1, 2014, featuring a guest rap from American rapper Tyga." Add this sentence!
 * ✅ fixed → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -
 * The first sentence still needs fixing, even though you should mention her as a singer. --Kyle Peake (talk) 20:35, 3 May 2020 (UTC)
 * what you mean. The first sentence of the article refers to Lopez as a singer which is her primary profession, and Tyga in his first mention as a rapper? → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -

Background and release

 * Writing list sentence should be at the very beginning of this section instead
 * ✅ Wrote section better, bringing that sentence up but leaving it after the being teased sentence → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) - 21:16, 4 May 2020 (UTC)


 * "who also handled production" → "who solely handled production"
 * ✅, changed the sentence to include vocal producers


 * "as a buzz single on" → "as a promotional single on" since they are the same thing but you are marketing the article as the latter
 * ✅ updated → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * "in the United States" → "in the United States and Canada" as they were on the same date; add the Canada release ref to the end of the sentence too
 * ✅ updated → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * Put the refs in numerical order --Kyle Peake (talk) 17:12, 3 May 2020 (UTC)
 * ✅ updated → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * "The song was later released for digital download in various other countries on January 30 of that year." Add this as the next sentence, supported by the refs from release history
 * Add the citations at the end of the sentence, as this is obviously a better way of sourcing than to wikilink to another section that is in an article this short. Also, make the grammar fixes I suggested, apart from changing ""Girls"" to "The song" --Kyle Peake (talk) 17:12, 3 May 2020 (UTC)
 * ✅ updated → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * "of the song featuring rapper Tyga was" → "of the song, featuring rapper Tyga, was"
 * ✅ updated → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * "of Lopez's eighth studio album, A.K.A.." → "of A.K.A.''"
 * ✅ reworded those sentences → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * The ref cited at the end of the above sentence only mentions a potential release and doesn't talk about Japan or Target – fix this?
 * ✅ changed references → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * Think you could add a picture of Tyga to this section stating that he collaborated with Lopez on the remix, maybe?
 * Give the img alt text --Kyle Peake (talk) 17:12, 3 May 2020 (UTC)
 * ✅ added


 * Merge Release and reception into one section, as the current sections are only one para each; keep them as two separate paras in the combined section, though. --Kyle Peake (talk) 17:12, 3 May 2020 (UTC)
 * ✅ updated as suggested. → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -

Writing and production

 * Retitle to Composition
 * ✅ reorganised so that composition is with background → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * "The song runs for a duration" → ""Girls" runs for a duration"
 * ✅ reworded → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * "fifty-eight seconds" → "58 seconds" per MOS:NUMBERS
 * ✅ reworded → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * ""Girls" is a mid-tempo" → "The track is a mid-tempo"
 * ✅ reworded → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * Is the meaning of this song about having fun? If so, then you should maybe give proper context for the quote of Lopez or source something else if that isn't the correct meaning.
 * ❌ I've tried to reword but there isn't much sourced about what the song is about or commentary on its lyrics → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * "anthem"[9] while" → "anthem",[9] while"
 * ✅ tweaked → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * "as having DJ Mustard's" → "as including DJ Mustard's"
 * ✅ tweaked → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * Italicise ETonline and target to Entertainment Tonight
 * ✅ tweaked → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * "compared the song's lyrics to" → "noted the song's lyrics as being reminiscent of"
 * ✅ said something along these lines now instead → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * Add release year of the single in brackets
 * ✅ tweaked → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -

Reception

 * ""Girls" was met with mixed reviews from music critics." should be the opening sentence
 * ✅ tweaked → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * "of the website Popdust" → "from Popdust"
 * ✅ tweaked → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * "noting that" → "noting that:"
 * ✅ tweaked → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * "since her remix album" → "since Lopez's remix album"
 * ✅ tweaked → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * "Rap-Up, in response" → "The staff of Rap-Up, in response"
 * ✅ tweaked → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * "Robbie Daw of the musical website Idolator" → "In a mixed review, Robbie Daw of Idolator"
 * ✅ tweaked → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * Add the song's sole chart position here, beginning the sentence with "Commercially,"
 * ✅ tweaked → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -

Live performance

 * This is the only performance of the song mentioned; either add more to create a full Live performances section or include the sole performance in the lead, similarly to the process of Talk:Mirror (Lil Wayne song)/GA1.
 * ✅ Re-wrote section → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * "performed the song live for the first time at" → performed the song live at" if this is the only performance
 * ✅ tweaked → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) - 21:16, 4 May 2020 (UTC)

Track listing

 * Retitle to Track listings since there's more than one
 * ✅ → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * Are you sure that a col is needed?
 * ✅ → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -

Personnel

 * Retitle to Credits and personnel
 * ❌ this section only has information about the people and not the studio locations. Stylistic choice. → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) - 21:16, 4 May 2020 (UTC)


 * Source is great, but any specific order here?
 * ❌ the credits are in alphabetical surname order as is standard? → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -

Charts

 * The table should be orderable even though there is only one position, as this is how they are supposed to be formatted
 * ❌, that is a pure stylistic choice as there is no functional purpose to being able to sort one entry in a table. I am not aware of a consensus that says tables have to be formatted that way when there is only one entry. → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -

Release history

 * Version needs to be capitalised
 * ✅ → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * Target Streaming to Streaming media
 * ✅ → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * Center all of the refs
 * ✅ → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -


 * Target EMI Music to EMI
 * ✅ → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) -

Final comments and verdict
and you have a week to comply since this is a short article. --Kyle Peake (talk) 13:42, 3 May 2020 (UTC)
 * There are a couple of issues that I have noticed; no mention of the song being a promo single is offered anywhere in the body, also ref 2 claims that the song was premiered on January 22, 2014, so change this in prose as well as the infobox and release history. --Kyle Peake (talk) 02:01, 5 May 2020 (UTC)
 * ✅ January 22 is already listed across the article. I have added in promotional single to background and release. → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) - 09:48, 5 May 2020 (UTC)
 * "On January 23, 2014, "Girls" was premiered online" is still in the prose of Release and reception; why have you not fixed this clear error? --Kyle Peake (talk) 10:19, 5 May 2020 (UTC)
 * ✅, is being an idiot an appropriate excuse? I didn't see it. Apologies → Lil- <b style="color:#1CA9C9">℧niquԐ</b><b style="color:#126180">1</b> <small style="color:#1CA9C9">- ( Talk ) - 10:45, 5 May 2020 (UTC)
 * No it's nothing to sweat over haha, we all make typos... ✅ and the latter's definitely not a typo, happily for us! --Kyle Peake (talk) 11:02, 5 May 2020 (UTC)