Talk:Gondolin/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: TompaDompa (talk · contribs) 15:57, 31 July 2023 (UTC)

I will review this. TompaDompa (talk) 15:57, 31 July 2023 (UTC)

General comments

 * There are quite a few images. I would consider removing the Loback illustration for layout reasons.
 * Done.

Lead

 * the betrayal of the city to Morgoth – I would gloss "Morgoth".
 * Done.


 * the wedding of Tuor and Idril – Tuor has been glossed earlier in the paragraph as "a prince of Men". I would gloss Idril here, at first mention.
 * Done.

City

 * I have re-added the map.
 * Thanks.


 * I would gloss the key players at first mention after the lead. Turgon is glossed as King, Idril as Turgon's daughter, and Maeglin as Turgon's nephew, but neither Morgoth nor Tuor is glossed.
 * Added.


 * Foundation – I would use "founding".
 * Done.


 * The reference following "The city of Gondolin" seems like it should be an explanatory footnote instead, no?
 * Formatted.


 * designed like the Noldor's former city – I would write "[...] the Noldor Elves' former city" to make it clearer to readers unfamiliar with Tolkien's works.
 * Done.

Analysis

 * I have some comments I could make on the "Classical literature" subsection, but since I previously reviewed the corresponding Tolkien and the classical world subsection, the simplest solution for both of us would be to copy that subsection wholesale to resolve all of the issues at once. I think the only thing that would need to be altered from that version might perhaps be some duplicate links.
 * Done.


 * the emblems of the houses of Gondolin are simply figurative – I initially parsed "simply figurative" as "purely figurative", but from reading the source ("both figurative [...] and straightforward") I gather the intended meaning is "simple and figurative"?
 * Done.


 * depicting everyday objects – I don't know that the source really says that, and I wouldn't personally describe e.g. gemstones as such.
 * Reworded.

Summary
Ping. TompaDompa (talk) 00:43, 6 August 2023 (UTC)

Great job! TompaDompa (talk) 20:06, 6 August 2023 (UTC)