Talk:Goodwin Fire/GA1

GA Review
CaptainEek (talk · contribs) 20:00, 2 January 2023 (UTC)

Howdy Vami, Eek here.
 * Mayer and Breezy Pines, Arizona, too many commas in this sentence, and also no need to say Breezy Pines is in Arizona, its redundant. I suggest instead saying "the nearby settlements of Mayer and Breezy Pines".
 * ✅ – ♠Vamí _IV†♠  00:19, 3 January 2023 (UTC)


 * In fact, that whole sentence is too long and complex. I'd put a period after June 27.
 * ✅ – ♠Vamí _IV†♠  00:19, 3 January 2023 (UTC)
 * 'Boldk kk j 2607:FB91:712:87C1:B238:4F41:F46D:4240 (talk) 20:31, 24 June 2023 (UTC)


 * Rather than spaced endashes, I suggest unspaced emdashes. While spaced endashes is technically allowed, in my style guide experience, unspaced emdashes is more correct.
 * Replaced. – ♠Vamí _IV†♠  00:19, 3 January 2023 (UTC)


 * Residents of Walker, Potato Patch, Mountain Pine Acres, and Mount Union were issued preemptive evacuation notices on what day?
 * June 27. – ♠Vamí _IV†♠  00:19, 3 January 2023 (UTC)


 * The operator was charged with endangering firefighters and their equipment on July 7 Makes it sound like the crime happened on the 7th. Instead, I'd order the sentence as "On July 7, the operator..." or "The operator was charged on July 7..."
 * Changed to "charged on July 7". – ♠Vamí _IV†♠  00:19, 3 January 2023 (UTC)


 * I understand being meticulous with citations, but as a general matter unless something is controversial I try not to put citations in the middle of sentences. Nothing here seems that controversial, so I think all citations can get ported to the end of sentences.
 * This feels incorrect to me, like putting words in a source's mouth, and thus I am meticulous like this. – ♠Vamí _IV†♠  00:19, 3 January 2023 (UTC)


 * per cent British English looks decidedly out of place in an article about Arizona :P
 * Translated. – ♠Vamí _IV†♠  00:19, 3 January 2023 (UTC)


 * total foliage mortality Wonder if there isn't a Wikilink that could lead to...? Its a technical term that may not be accessible to the average reader.
 * No page to link to, unfortunately, but also not much room for confusion. – ♠Vamí _IV†♠  00:19, 3 January 2023 (UTC)


 * Further flooding exacerbated by the burn scar was expected in 2018 and in 2022 I don't get this sentence. Was expected? But those dates have already passed. So either the flooding happened, or it didn't. I guess I'm not getting the meaning you intend here?
 * Axed. 00:19, 3 January 2023 (UTC)


 * "Goodwin Fire Latest: Now 43 Percent Contained; Highway 69 Reopens Frida" ...missing a y in Friday
 * Oops. – ♠Vamí  _IV†♠  00:19, 3 January 2023 (UTC)


 * To get this to FA, you'll want to get access to the Daily Courier, the local paper. I will try to get ahold of access for you. If I forget, remind me in a few weeks.
 * :eyes: – ♠Vamí _IV†♠  00:19, 3 January 2023 (UTC)

Otherwise, looks good! Nice work. CaptainEek Edits Ho Cap'n!⚓ 20:38, 2 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Awesome, that's a pass. CaptainEek Edits Ho Cap'n!⚓ 19:17, 3 January 2023 (UTC)