Talk:Graham Clark (tenor)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Golden (talk · contribs) 09:24, 3 August 2023 (UTC)

Hello! Happy to review this article. — Golden  call me maybe? 09:24, 3 August 2023 (UTC)

Lead

 * Wagner's - Who is Wagner? This is our first time reading about him. Can we get a brief introduction, such as "the German composer"?
 * Wagner is perhaps one of the top-10 best-known composers, and nationality plays little role in music, and the Germany we have today didn't even exist then, - so - in sink with project opera, better not. --GA
 * Janáceks -> Janácek's.
 * done, good catch ;) --GA
 * Wikilink Leoš Janáček, Richard Strauss, Alban Berg, and Benjamin Britten
 * again per project opera: when an opera has an article, its author doesn't need one. Those who really don't know Britten can be sure to find a link in the opera, avoiding a sea-of-blue.
 * Janácek, Richard Strauss, Alban Berg, and Benjamin Britten could do with a brief introduction.
 * even if these are not as well-known as Wagner, better not, because most readers who are interested in an opera singer will be familiar with the composers, and for the few others, there's a link, - perhaps compare GAs such as Jessye Norman or Johanna Geisler. I have been criticised as pedantic for mentioning the composer at all, but that is my compromise for those less familiar with opera: I don't assume that they all know who wrote Aida and Peter Grimes. --GA
 * At present, all but the first sentence in the lead begin with the same word. This can be improved by either combining sentences or altering their initial word. For instance, the last two sentences could be merged to read: "Remembered as a "superb, athletic actor with a strong, penetrating voice and exceptionally clear diction", he took part in..".
 * good idea, sorry for not noticing, - only: those two sentences have nothing to do with each other, and I like the memory as a close. I'll see if there's more lead-worthy material to combine with the premieres. --GA
 * Thank you for reviewing. Please excuse that it's late here, and the next two days, I will have little to no time, - two weddings in a row - after no wedding in years. I'll be back, promised. Gerda Arendt (talk) 21:08, 3 August 2023 (UTC)


 * That's okay, Gerda. I'll also be quite busy for the next few days, so it won't be a problem. I understand your reasoning in response to points 1, 3, and 4. It would be better to ignore a few points in the following sections where I mention the same things. — Golden  call me maybe? 21:15, 3 August 2023 (UTC)

Biography

 * His parents were Ronald Clark and Annie Clark - Is there any additional noteworthy information about these individuals, maybe regarding their professions?
 * found and added --Gerda Arendt (talk) 17:10, 6 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Please wikilink and briefly introduce Sergei Prokofiev and Mikhail Glinka. Add a Wikilink for all other individuals mentioned in the article who have corresponding Wikipedia pages.
 * better not, see above --Gerda Arendt (talk) 16:46, 6 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Please provide a brief introduction for Bruce Boyce, Richard Bonynge, Joan Sutherland, Heather Begg, Clifford Grant, and any other individuals mentioned in the article who have not been previously introduced.
 * similarly, names are given to supply an impression for the class of people with whom he worked, - readers who don't known Joan Sutherland yet are welcome to find out, but most readers who know opera a bit know that she was a top soprano, - it actually doesn't change his bio much. --GA
 * LP by Decca - What's Decca?
 * similarly: DECCA is known as a top record label, and saying so will not change his life much --Gerda Arendt (talk) 16:46, 6 August 2023 (UTC)
 * There are four citations after age of 81. It is generally recommended to include up to three citations (WP:OVERCITE), although this is not mandatory.
 * We are talking about his death. I'll drop one if I can find one that is less important to read. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 16:46, 6 August 2023 (UTC)
 * I dropped the French obit from that position (although it had been the first at all), and a Dutch one completely that seems to have no information we can't find in the English ones. I'll study the Guardian obit more thoroughly which was added after later, - probably tomorrow. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 17:13, 6 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Thanks. — Golden  call me maybe?

Awards

 * No changes required.

General comments

 * Earwig's detector has flagged potential instances of copyright infringement. Kindly rephrase the following sentences or phrases: Clark was born in Littleborough, Lancashire, on 10 November 1941; as a treble in the; for a charity gala at the Royal Opera House; in the world premiere of Corigliano's The Ghosts of Versailles; Clark was nominated three times for Outstanding Individual Achievement in Opera Awards; for his role in The Ghosts of Versailles at the, was awarded an honorary doctorate by Loughborough University.
 * "Clark was born in Littleborough, Lancashire, on 10 November 1941" - this is just the standard wording.
 * Sure, I can let this pass. — Golden  call me maybe?
 * "as a treble in the" - I didn't know how, - soprano isn't the same, and a different word order seems awkward to me
 * It's fine. — Golden  call me maybe?
 * "for a charity gala at the Royal Opera House" - similar, - I have no way to say that differently without loosing precision or elegance - help welcome, English is not my native language
 * It's not my native language either, but I would rephrase it like this: "He had his breakthrough when Richard Bonynge accepted him to participate in a charity gala held at London's Royal Opera House.." — Golden  call me maybe?
 * "in the world premiere of Corigliano's The Ghosts of Versailles" - that's also just the standard order
 * It's fine. — Golden  call me maybe?
 * "Clark was nominated three times for Outstanding Individual Achievement in Opera Awards" - I put the three times at the end but can't change the name of the award
 * Try "Clark received nominations for the Opera Awards in the category of Outstanding Individual Achievement, in the years 1983, 1986, and 1993." — Golden  call me maybe?
 * "for his role in The Ghosts of Versailles at the" - standard order
 * It's fine. — Golden  call me maybe?
 * "was awarded an honorary doctorate by Loughborough University" - that could be worded in active voice if needed, but feels unusual. --GA
 * Try: "In 1999, Loughborough University awarded Clark an honorary doctorate.." — Golden  call me maybe?
 * Including an image in the article would be nice, although it is not essential.
 * Storye book has worked miracles. --GA
 * What? — Golden  call me maybe?
 * Storye book, can you perhaps find an image of this singer? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 20:29, 11 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Done. I've guessed the date of the photo to be 1990s at the latest, though it might be the 1980s. I can't tell from the b/w photo whether he was blond, or whether he was going grey. Storye book (talk) 09:09, 12 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Thank you, - it's a lovely image! --
 * Thank you, Storye book. — Golden  talk
 * This is an engaging article about a fascinating individual. I found it to be a delightful read. I look forward to seeing your revisions in response to my points. — Golden  call me maybe? 18:29, 3 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Golden, I am back after good days. Please give me one more day to integrate the Guardian obit more. Mime in women's clothes seems worth mentioning, - not every singer would do that ;) --Gerda Arendt (talk) 17:32, 6 August 2023 (UTC)
 * It should be I who asks for an extension, . I am on vacation and will return in two days. I will review your changes once I am back, if that is not a problem for you. — Golden  call me maybe? 17:28, 8 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Changes now (finally) made. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 12:39, 11 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Thank you for the changes. I've replied to some of your comments above. — Golden  call me maybe? 17:43, 11 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Thank you for good questions, and wording help on top. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 20:31, 11 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Great work, . I'm happy to pass this article. — Golden  talk 09:17, 12 August 2023 (UTC)