Talk:Groundwater contamination from animal agriculture

Harrison's Peer Review
I thought this was an extremely interesting topic to cover. The page was broken up into reasonable sections so that it was easy to follow the flow of the article, and the picture was a nice touch.

Some changes to consider include: -creating a lead section -addressing the EPA regulations before California groundwater, to me, it would make more sense to understand how this pollutant is regulated by the government, and then address how it appears in the groundwater -add more detail to all the sections -adding more references

Overall, I believe the most important change to the article would just be adding more content in each section; along with a lead section. However, it might be easier to add the lead section once the article is finished (that's what I plan on doing)

This topic doesn't relate to the topic I'm working on in class; however, it relates to many projects I work on as a geologist.

Good job overall! Alyssa Leidelar78 (talk) 16:15, 4 May 2018 (UTC)

Issues Concerning Article Content and Placement
The subject is one that I originally thought would work better as a section in Groundwater pollution, although now that I read the prose of that article and compare it with this one while I was preparing to merge, I noticed that this article is not written with an encyclopedic tone. It uses ambiguous words, such as in the lead section,"Ground Water contamination in California effects many people, and many walks of life." The content refers only to California. I recognize that the class associated with this article is one of the California State University, although it is paramount to this encyclopedia not to hold biases towards any one place. Wikipedia is used by people from many nations, and focusing on California alone is giving undue weight to the American EPA and laws, and Californian people and issues. The article has many instances in which ambiguity hurts the information being portrayed by the article. After reading it multiple times, I could not tell you what groundwater contamination from animal agriculture is, or how widespread of an issue it is. All I know is that 7% of California's population is drinking contaminated groundwater. Every single source in this article (except for the reference to Water pollution, which I removed) is either the American or Californian government. It also needs extensive copyediting, addition of wikilinks, and rewrites in certain sections (mainly the lead, which is quite vague) for encyclopedic tone. Thanks, Vermont (talk) 10:32, 10 May 2018 (UTC)