Talk:Guitar (Sonny Sharrock album)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 17:30, 27 August 2016 (UTC)

Hi there! I'm Cartoon network freak and my GAN review for your nomination is going to arrive soon. Best, Cartoon network freak (talk) 17:30, 27 August 2016 (UTC)

Lead

 * Guitar is a solo studio album by American jazz guitarist Sonny Sharrock. → remove "solo"
 * Why? Dan56 (talk) 00:28, 30 August 2016 (UTC)


 * is it his fifth album? Include a number
 * I don't know. There's no source verifying the chronology. Dan56 (talk) 00:28, 30 August 2016 (UTC)


 * recorded the album → recorded it
 * from critics → from music critics
 * When Guitar was released → Upon the release of Guitar
 * who praised → who acclaimed
 * playing → his playing
 * by rock critic → by The Village Voice writer
 * jazz writer → jazz critic
 * said it → felt it
 * Are these just suggestions? Dan56 (talk) 00:28, 30 August 2016 (UTC)

Infobox

 * Is the exact release date known?
 * No. Dan56 (talk) 00:34, 30 August 2016 (UTC)


 * The recording place is written a little bit weak (sorry!), try to change it like it is displayed here
 * fusion → jazz fusion
 * Ok. Dan56 (talk) 00:34, 30 August 2016 (UTC)


 * You may use a flat list; look here
 * I don't follow. Dan56 (talk) 00:34, 30 August 2016 (UTC)


 * was viewed → was perceived
 * That's not really an improvement; the definition of view suits the context more than perceive. Dan56 (talk) 00:34, 30 August 2016 (UTC)


 * record Black Woman in → record, Black Woman, in
 * I think an em dash would be less repetitive of commas, which follow 1969. Dan56 (talk) 00:34, 30 August 2016 (UTC)


 * ideas: "You → ideas, confessing that "you
 * It's not really a confession; "recalled" would be more appropriate. Dan56 (talk) 00:34, 30 August 2016 (UTC)


 * which nationality is the band?
 * There is no band. It's Sharrock's "solo" album; only he's playing. Dan56 (talk) 00:34, 30 August 2016 (UTC)


 * "Devils Doll Baby", which featured Sharrock's frenzied slide guitar playing, and → "Devils Doll Baby"—which featured Sharrock's frenzied slide guitar playing—and
 * Done. Dan56 (talk) 00:34, 30 August 2016 (UTC)


 * had late in their careers → had experienced in the edge of their careers.
 * That's not a grammatical improvement. Dan56 (talk) 00:34, 30 August 2016 (UTC)

Release and reception

 * beautiful" but → beautiful", but
 * There's no separation of clause(s) here so a comma isn't necessary; "Sharrock's avant-garde playing" is still being described after "funky and beautiful". Dan56 (talk) 00:49, 30 August 2016 (UTC)


 * well defined → well-defined
 * Done. Dan56 (talk) 00:49, 30 August 2016 (UTC)


 * Hyder said his → Hyder confessed that his
 * It really doesn't make sense to use "confess" anywhere in this article. Dan56 (talk) 00:49, 30 August 2016 (UTC)


 * genres while writing, "throughout → genres, while further writing that "throughout
 * I rewrote it. Dan56 (talk) 00:49, 30 August 2016 (UTC)


 * next album Seize → add comma after "album"
 * (1987) could → (1987), could
 * any listener's → every listener's
 * "Any" is more appropriate; there's no known quantity of listeners the writer is referring to Dan56 (talk) 00:49, 30 August 2016 (UTC)


 * quality, "helping → quality; it "[helped]
 * I revised it. Dan56 (talk) 00:49, 30 August 2016 (UTC)

Track listing

 * All music → All material
 * That's so vague/confusing. It's music (he wrote). Dan56 (talk) 00:53, 30 August 2016 (UTC)


 * Unlink his name
 * The template page links songwriters/composed. Dan56 (talk) 00:53, 30 August 2016 (UTC)


 * This statement needs to be accompanied by the credits ref.
 * The list needs a header and a reference see this for an example
 * I don't see the need--track titles are not contentious (and obviously taken from the same source named in the next section)--and that article is not the best example to draw from, IMO. Dan56 (talk) 00:53, 30 August 2016 (UTC)

Personnel

 * Rename section into "Credits and personnel"
 * Why?? Dan56 (talk) 00:54, 30 August 2016 (UTC)


 * You may also add "RPM Sound Studios – recording studio"
 * A recording studio is not a person lol. Dan56 (talk) 00:54, 30 August 2016 (UTC)


 * Credits are adapted from the album's liner notes. → Credits adapted from the liner notes of Guitar.
 * That's not a complete sentence. Dan56 (talk) 00:54, 30 August 2016 (UTC)

Outcome
I've put this article for 7 days. Best and good luck with editing, Cartoon network freak (talk) 19:06, 29 August 2016 (UTC)
 * I've made changes and responded Dan56 (talk) 00:54, 30 August 2016 (UTC)
 * Most of them all were suggestions, but gladly passing anyway. Best, Cartoon network freak (talk) 04:52, 30 August 2016 (UTC)