Talk:Guy Bradley/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Sasata (talk) 17:39, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

Hi, I've signed up for this review. I'll have some comments here in a day or two. Sasata (talk) 17:39, 14 July 2010 (UTC)

Very interesting read. I have a number of suggestions and comments, all relatively minor (and feel free to disagree):
 * lead: link egret, conservationists
 * Done. María ( habla con migo ) 13:06, 15 July 2010 (UTC)


 * "much publicized" needs hypen?
 * True that; added. María ( habla con migo ) 13:06, 15 July 2010 (UTC)


 * link Fort Lauderdale House of Refuge
 * No article exists. María ( habla con migo ) 13:06, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
 * How about Houses of Refuge in Florida? Sasata (talk) 15:49, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
 * Sure, that works. María ( habla con migo ) 17:19, 15 July 2010 (UTC)


 * dab Lake Worth, Palm Beach, DeSoto County
 * Done. María ( habla con migo ) 13:06, 15 July 2010 (UTC)


 * link superintendent
 * Done. María ( habla con migo ) 13:06, 15 July 2010 (UTC)


 * "At the time, plume feathers were reportedly more valuable than gold, selling for more than $20 an ounce." unclear—what was $20, feathers or gold?
 * Clarified; the feathers, not the gold. María ( habla con migo ) 13:06, 15 July 2010 (UTC)


 * how long was the 1,397 bird-killing expedition? (days, weeks…)
 * Several weeks. Added. María ( habla con migo ) 13:06, 15 July 2010 (UTC)


 * "were being killed for millinery purposes" last two words sound awkward to me
 * Changed to "for the millinery trade"; hope that helps? María ( habla con migo ) 13:06, 15 July 2010 (UTC)


 * link Florida Coast Line and Transportation Company
 * No article exists. María ( habla con migo ) 13:06, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
 * Is this equivalent? Florida Coast Line Canal and Transportation Company Sasata (talk) 15:49, 15 July 2010 (UTC)
 * Doh, yes. Thanks! María ( habla  con migo ) 17:19, 15 July 2010 (UTC)


 * "Guy and his brother, who continued working as guides and hunters, each received a quarter of a mile of land in Flamingo as his own." I'm not sure why or from whom they received this land, was it a gift from their father?
 * Good point; I've clarified that they received the land as part of a deal for their father's job. María ( habla con migo ) 13:06, 15 July 2010 (UTC)


 * acronym AOU not defined
 * Fixed. María ( habla con migo ) 13:06, 15 July 2010 (UTC)


 * "vice president" hyphenated?
 * Not typically, no. María ( habla con migo ) 13:06, 15 July 2010 (UTC)


 * how long (#'s) was the area Guy had to patrol?
 * I did some preliminary searching, but haven't found an overall number yet. Will keep looking. María ( habla  con migo ) 13:06, 15 July 2010 (UTC)


 * link herons, spoonbills and ibis
 * Done. María ( habla con migo ) 13:06, 15 July 2010 (UTC)


 * plume hunting hyphenated?
 * Not in the sources, no. María ( habla  con migo ) 13:06, 15 July 2010 (UTC)


 * "By 1904, Audubon had 34 wardens employed in ten states." Is Audubon the national organization (in contrast to the state Audubon of the last section)? Link?
 * Whoops, needed to clarify that. Audubon didn't go national (again) until 1905, so until then there were just separate state organizations. María ( habla  con migo ) 13:06, 15 July 2010 (UTC)


 * "After accepting the position as game warden, however, Bradley had become a vilified figure in southern Florida" I'm not convinced that "had become" is better than "became" here.
 * Sure, changed. María ( habla con migo ) 13:06, 15 July 2010 (UTC)


 * "His body was never found and the perpetrators were not caught." If his body was never found, how do they know he was killed (and by poachers?)
 * Ahh, you want the sordid details -- hat found with brain matter splattered inside? Added something a little less graphic. :) María ( habla con migo ) 13:06, 15 July 2010 (UTC)


 * not all listed sources give states in the location, and there is a mix of 2- and 3-letter state abbreviations
 * Added. María ( habla con migo ) 13:06, 15 July 2010 (UTC)

—Preceding unsigned comment added by Sasata (talk • contribs) 01:25, July 15, 2010

Thanks for making the changes, I've suggested a couple of links above. The article certainly meets all GA criteria and I'm promoting it now. Sasata (talk) 15:49, 15 July 2010 (UTC)

Yay! --Moni3 (talk) 15:55, 15 July 2010 (UTC)


 * Yes, yay indeed! Thanks for the helpful review, Sasata. :) María ( habla  con migo ) 17:19, 15 July 2010 (UTC)