Talk:Gyromancer/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: J Milburn (talk) 22:09, 13 March 2010 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria


 * 1) Is it reasonably well written?
 * A. Prose quality:
 * B. MoS compliance:
 * 1) Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
 * A. References to sources:
 * B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
 * C. No original research:
 * 1) Is it broad in its coverage?
 * A. Major aspects:
 * B. Focused:
 * 1) Is it neutral?
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * Pass or Fail:


 * "four gems out of a grid of gems" Repetition- could this be rephrased?
 * "the summons"- neither Wiktionary nor the OED Online recognise the noun "summon" as one who is summoned. Could this be rephrased?
 * "cheesy music" A little informal?
 * "their summons" Again. There are others.
 * "If a line of three or more identical gems is formed the gems disappear" You need a comma or conjunction or something
 * "level with" Again, comma or something? The sentence is a little convoluted. I know what it means, but I've played Bejeweled
 * "Square Enix, who has published" Which had? Not only do you have a tense shift, but you refer to the company as a person
 * "reviewers. While many reviewers" Repetition
 * "in which the characters speaking "slide back and forth like cardboard cutouts".[1]" It's not clear what this means- could it be rephrased?
 * "but did note say that they felt that the portraits of monsters were reused for different summons too often." Again?
 * "that "Even the" Could this E be lowercase, or would that be against the MOS?
 * A fairly major concern for the reception section- could the opinions please be attributed to the reviewers themselves, rather than the publication? "John Smith, writing for The Magazine, said "Blah"." rather than "The Magazine said "Blah"."


 * Thanks for the review! I have a huge cold, so I don't think I'm going to be able to get to this for a few days. Hopefully before the 7 days are up, though. Thanks for the congratulations on Flower (video game) as well! -- Pres N  02:22, 14 March 2010 (UTC)
 * I don't intend to keep to the seven day thing. If this can be improved, I'm happy to promote it, whether it takes an hour or a month. Get well soon! J Milburn (talk) 11:12, 14 March 2010 (UTC)


 * Alright, lets do this thing.


 * Siliconera is run/owned by CraveOnline, the group that also runs RPGamer.com and about 20 other sites. Several of their writers also write for/crosspost their stuff to Gamasutra, but that interview isn't over there. They perform numerous interviews with video game developers- 10 in the past month alone.


 * Did the grammar/repetition stuff you listed, still working on the reviewers' names. -- Pres N  16:23, 22 March 2010 (UTC)


 * Reviewers' names are done, just have your plot/monsters criticisms to go. -- Pres N  21:58, 22 March 2010 (UTC)


 * Alright, all done. There's not much more that I can add to the plot- I've never played the game, and every review/summary out there simply mentions that there is one before dismissing it as irrelevant to the game. I've expanded what I could there. -- Pres N  19:50, 23 March 2010 (UTC)

Cool, looks good. I made some quick fixes, and now I'm happy to promote. Thanks for being patient. If you're interested in taking this article further, I would look into plot expansion (it may even warrant its own section) but that would probably involve you playing the game- maybe even taking notes if it is as convoluted as the reviewers suggest. There's not much else that is obviously lacking, but this doesn't quite have the spark that you see in other articles- perhaps the key would be hunting down more sources, perhaps from bigger publishers. I accept that, for a game of this sort, they may not exist. The article is by no means lacking at this time, and sits well as a decent GA. J Milburn (talk) 18:46, 31 March 2010 (UTC)