Talk:HMS Gipsy (H63)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Crowz  RSA  03:56, 26 February 2011 (UTC)


 * prewar should be changed to "pre-war".
 * Done.
 * The ship was transferred shortly after the beginning of World War II to the British Isles to escort shipping in local waters. This sentence needs to be re-organized. I recommend something like: "The ship was transferred shortly to the British Isles to escort shipping after the beginning of World War II.
 * Agreed.
 * Less than a month after her arrival she struck a mine outside… Change "mine" to "naval mine".
 * No, it's linked, that suffices.
 * …outside Harwich and sank with the loss of 30 of her crew.. Reads poorly. Change to: "…outside Harwich, causing her to sink and lose of 30 of her crew."
 * I disagree.
 * You link "overall length" to Overall length, when it should actually link to Length overall.
 * Good catch.
 * Meters needs to be linked.
 * Really? Feet and meters both linked.
 * You say that it can carry 470 long tons (480 t) of fuel oil, but shouldn't the measurements be in gallons or something? Maybe I'm ignorant…
 * Nope, that's how it's measured in ships.
 * For anti-aircraft defence Gipsy had… it's defense, not "defence".
 * Not in British English.
 * The link "21-inch (533 mm)" should be extended to "21-inch (533 mm) torpedoes".
 * Done.
 * "…but this increased shortly after the war began to 35. Reads poorly. Change to "but this increased to 35 shortly after the war began".
 * Good idea.
 * at Govan in Scotland Change to "at Govan, Scotland".
 * Done.
 * Exclusive of government-furnished equipment like the armament, the ship cost £250,364. This line doesn't read well to me. It should be re-worded.
 * Done.
 * …Gipsy spent the prewar period… prewar → pre-war.
 * Done already.
 * Unlink "1st Destroyer Flotilla" and re-word to "first Destroyer Flotilla".
 * Military unit names are not spelled out. 82nd Airborne Division, 1st Cruiser Squadron, etc.
 * On the outbreak of war in September 1939 Gipsy was… Comma after 1939.
 * Good catch.
 * Again, 1st Destroyer Flotilla → first Destroyer Flotilla.
 * Again, no.
 * Gipsy, and her entire flotilla, was transferred to the Western Approaches Command at Plymouth in October. Several problems with this sentence. Re-word to "Gipsy and her entire flotilla were transferred to the Western Approaches Command at Plymouth in October 1939".
 * Done
 * …and returned to port to turn them over the army. Which army are you referring to?
 * The one garrisoning Harwich in the UK.
 * Trust your luck Luck should be capitalized.
 * Why? It's a motto, not a title. Thanks for the review.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 06:41, 26 February 2011 (UTC)


 * This is all I see, I will place the article on hold for a few weeks before I fail it (if comments aren't attended to). Good luck, Crowz  RSA  04:26, 26 February 2011 (UTC).