Talk:HMS Glenmore (1796)/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Nominator: 10:20, 1 June 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk · contribs) 13:42, 2 June 2024 (UTC)

I'll take a look at this shortly. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 13:42, 2 June 2024 (UTC)
 * Thanks. I look forward to hearing your comments. --Ykraps (talk) 16:51, 3 June 2024 (UTC)
 * are you coming back to this? --Ykraps (talk) 18:34, 17 June 2024 (UTC)
 * Yes, just a busy time at work right now. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 18:47, 17 June 2024 (UTC)

Prelim

 * No duplicated links
 * Image correctly licensed
 * Article is stable
 * Earwig reports copyvio unlikely

Lede and infobox
Hi, Do you have anything else to add? --Ykraps (talk) 07:53, 23 June 2024 (UTC)
 * Suggest adding the number of guns in the first line of the lede, e.g. "36-gun Amazon-class frigate"
 * Done. --Ykraps (talk) 18:16, 20 June 2024 (UTC)
 * Link 18-pounder long gun in lede and infobox
 * Done. --Ykraps (talk) 18:16, 20 June 2024 (UTC)
 * You switch between using "pounder" and "pdr", suggest only using one version for consistency throughout the article
 * Done. --Ykraps (talk) 19:32, 20 June 2024 (UTC)
 * Suggest "Amiable drove off"
 * Done. --Ykraps (talk) 18:16, 20 June 2024 (UTC)
 * Link truss
 * Done. --Ykraps (talk) 18:16, 20 June 2024 (UTC)
 * Considering the size of the article I think that the lede is a tad long. The final paragraph on the mutiny could be shortened to provide slightly less detail on, for example, the exact disciplined meted out
 * I've trimmed a bit but I'm keen to keep it a full summary of the article. --Ykraps (talk) 19:01, 20 June 2024 (UTC)
 * Probably worth mentioning the French Revolutionary Wars early in the lede just to make it very obvious what we're relating the Peace of Amiens to
 * Done. --Ykraps (talk) 18:37, 20 June 2024 (UTC)
 * I believe it's normal to link the "in" in "in ordinary" as well (phew, that's a lot of ins!)
 * Done. --Ykraps (talk) 18:37, 20 June 2024 (UTC)
 * The date of order is only mentioned in the lede, not in main text
 * Done. --Ykraps (talk) 18:37, 20 June 2024 (UTC)
 * Ibid John Tovey, launch date
 * Added launch date to main body. John Tovey? --Ykraps (talk) 19:19, 20 June 2024 (UTC)
 * You have John Tovey as the master shipwright in the infobox but he isn't mentioned in main text. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 20:40, 20 June 2024 (UTC)
 * Thanks. Added. --Ykraps (talk) 05:08, 21 June 2024 (UTC)
 * Give the exact date of sale in the lede, as you do have it
 * Done. --Ykraps (talk) 19:01, 20 June 2024 (UTC)
 * Remove trailing zeros in measurements, e.g. 143 ft becomes 143 ft
 * Done. --Ykraps (talk) 19:12, 20 June 2024 (UTC)
 * Add spaces after the colons in the infobox
 * Done. --Ykraps (talk) 19:01, 20 June 2024 (UTC)
 * Link keel and gundeck in infobox
 * Done. --Ykraps (talk) 19:12, 20 June 2024 (UTC)

Design and construction

 * "was 36-gun sailing frigate" missing word here
 * Added.--Ykraps (talk) 17:13, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
 * Link frigate on first mention
 * Done. --Ykraps (talk) 17:13, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
 * "One of four Amazon-class ships..." Very abrupt sentence. Perhaps "She was one..."?
 * Rewritten. --Ykraps (talk) 17:13, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
 * Move 18-pounder long gun link to first mention and link 12-pounder long gun
 * Done. --Ykraps (talk) 17:13, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
 * Link Naiad
 * Done. --Ykraps (talk) 17:13, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
 * "had a complement of 284 men" As Glenmore's complement isn't mentioned in main text it makes it difficult to understand the context/comparison for this stat
 * Added.--Ykraps (talk) 17:13, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
 * "Work began in March" the last date in text was for her launch in March 1796, suggest moving this paragraph to before that point in the narrative
 * Moved launch date to after instead. --Ykraps (talk) 17:13, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
 * Expand out the "pdr"s in the last paragraph
 * Done. --Ykraps (talk) 17:13, 1 July 2024 (UTC)

Career

 * "seargent" sp
 * I prefer to think of it as typo. ;) Changed. --Ykraps (talk) 17:45, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
 * "for further instructions" from who?
 * The leaders of the mutiny. Added. --Ykraps (talk) 17:45, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
 * A word or two on the reasoning for the mutiny/terms agreed upon would be useful context
 * I've done what I think is reasonable without simply listing the demands and noting which were accepted/rejected. If you want more detail, let me know. --Ykraps (talk) 18:15, 2 July 2024 (UTC)
 * "August 1798" repeated year
 * Removed. --Ykraps (talk) 17:45, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
 * Try not to begin paragraphs with dates to avoid it reading like a timeline/diary
 * I've reduced the number of times I've done but am struggling to irradicate completely without leaving a lot of sentences beginning "Glenmore" or similar. --Ykraps (talk) 18:15, 2 July 2024 (UTC)
 * Give Aimable's ship type as you usually do
 * Done. --Ykraps (talk) 17:45, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
 * Link French Guyana
 * Done. --Ykraps (talk) 18:36, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
 * "Sirène Citoyen Reignaud, captain" Awkward phrasing
 * Rewritten. --Ykraps (talk) 18:34, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
 * Link trusses
 * Done. --Ykraps (talk) 18:34, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
 * "later in the year" needs a capital
 * Done. --Ykraps (talk) 19:32, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
 * "Captain Duff" repeated rank
 * Removed. --Ykraps (talk) 17:31, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
 * Link John Talbot
 * Done. --Ykraps (talk) 17:21, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
 * When does the second mutiny happen? You say "early in May" but date the first action to 5 June
 * Things came to a head in June. The oath would have been sworn sometime in May, and the petition to Lord Gardner, signed on 2 May, contained the phrase "...for we can never think of going to sea under the command of Captain Talbot again". Both these actions would likely be held as mutinous. I have rewritten to remove confusion. --Ykraps (talk) 17:30, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
 * Link boatswain's
 * Done. --Ykraps (talk) 17:21, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
 * "The punishments were then carried out" Do we know what they were?
 * The floggings referred to in the previous sentence. --Ykraps (talk) 17:21, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
 * "15 May 1801" Repeated year
 * Removed. --Ykraps (talk) 18:07, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
 * "Lloyd's List (LL)" don't need the acronym, isn't used elsewhere
 * Removed. --Ykraps (talk) 18:07, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
 * "They and Urania all arrived at Cork" Any dates for this or the previous captures?
 * I'm afraid not. Sources available only note when they arrived in port. --Ykraps (talk) 19:32, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
 * "June 1801" Repeated year
 * Removed. --Ykraps (talk) 18:07, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
 * "set light" Suggest the more obvious "set on fire"
 * Changed. --Ykraps (talk) 18:07, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
 * "June 1802" repeated year
 * Removed. --Ykraps (talk) 18:07, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
 * "July 1802" ibid
 * Removed. --Ykraps (talk) 18:07, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
 * Choose whether to prefix British ships with HMS, but try not to mix between the two styles
 * Fixed. --Ykraps (talk) 18:34, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
 * Italicise Glenmore in the fate section - as this is so short suggest adding it the end of career rather than splitting it into its own section
 * Done. --Ykraps (talk) 18:34, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
 * Article is long enough that it would benefit from some more images. Difficult to find relevant ship images, so what about some variation of File:Admiral John Maitland (1771–1836).jpg, File:Captain George Duff (1764–1805).jpg, File:Robert Seppings (1767-1840), by William Bradley.jpg, and/or File:Vice-Admiral Lord Alan Gardner (1742-1809), by William Beechey.jpg?
 * I've added Seppings and Duff. Adding anything else causes text sandwiching on my screen. --Ykraps (talk) 18:15, 2 July 2024 (UTC)