Talk:HMS Latona (1781)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 15:43, 4 November 2018 (UTC)

I'll start this shortly.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 15:43, 4 November 2018 (UTC)
 * No DABs
 * Images properly licensed.
 * bay of Algeciras Try linking to Algeciras Bay
 * Done --Ykraps (talk) 08:44, 13 November 2018 (UTC)
 * recommissioned for The Channel the Channel Fleet, I believe?
 * As it then goes on to say, "...where, on 18 November 1793, she spotted, chased and engaged a squadron...", I'm not sure that changing to Channel Fleet would make sense. Unless you have a suggestion for rewriting that sentence?--Ykraps (talk) 08:44, 13 November 2018 (UTC)
 * She was definitely assigned to the Channel Fleet so: "for an assignment with the Channel Fleet" or somesuch--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 02:02, 18 November 2018 (UTC)
 * Okay. I have added and linked Channel Fleet, and removed 'where'.--Ykraps (talk) 11:13, 18 November 2018 (UTC)
 * in an Anglo-Russian invasion of Holland There's been more than one?
 * Changed to the --Ykraps (talk) 08:44, 13 November 2018 (UTC)
 * Hostilities resumed in May 1803 but Latona Needs a comma after the date
 * Done - although I think that's an optional comma in British English.--Ykraps (talk) 17:24, 13 November 2018 (UTC)
 * I was taught that "but" should have a comma before it unless it's not contrasting or contradicting the previous clause. Is it different in BritEng?--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 02:02, 18 November 2018 (UTC)
 * Unless there's some ambiguity, a comma is not generally required there as the clauses are short.--Ykraps (talk) 08:52, 18 November 2018 (UTC)
 * 14-gun, HMS Superieure
 * Sorry, not sure what you're asking. Isn't that what I've written?
 * Should have made myself clearer. Unnecessary comma--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 02:02, 18 November 2018 (UTC)
 * Link hulked, laid down, launched, beam, main battery, secondary armament, privateer, laid up and the symbols for the pre-decimal money
 * Done. --Ykraps (talk) 17:24, 13 November 2018 (UTC)
 * receiving ship at Leith, then in December, as the flagship of Admiral Sir William Johnstone Hope Confused. Did she remain a receiving ship when she was the flagship?
 * Clarified. --Ykraps (talk) 17:24, 13 November 2018 (UTC)
 * Add date of commissioning to the main body. Be sure to link it.
 * Done. --Ykraps (talk) 17:24, 13 November 2018 (UTC)
 * Link and capitalise captain. Link all ranks on first appearance.
 * Done.--Ykraps (talk) 19:56, 13 November 2018 (UTC)
 * Don't use ranks after the first mention
 * Done.--Ykraps (talk) 19:56, 13 November 2018 (UTC)
 * Charles Sandys became Latona's captain in May 1784 then in March 1786, command passed Awkward
 * Changed to, "Command passed successively to Charles Sandys in May 1784 then Lieutenant Velters Cornewall Berkeley in March 1786".--Ykraps (talk) 20:09, 13 November 2018 (UTC)
 * Looks good.
 * Watch out for overlinking
 * I've removed all the repeated links I can find, except those linked in the lead which I believe is acceptable. I've also left links where I've used a slightly different term for the same thing. For example: laid up and laid up in ordinary, and English Channel and the Channel. However, I can remove these too if you like.
 * Please do, I think that readers can figure out the relationship on their own.
 * Done --Ykraps (talk) 08:52, 18 November 2018 (UTC)
 * was lured away on 20 October How? And how does that fit with the following sentence?
 * They were lured away by the British ships mentioned in the following sentence. I think those two sentences were supposed to be one; joined with a semi-colon. I've rewritten to make clearer.--Ykraps (talk) 07:45, 14 November 2018 (UTC)
 * Works for me.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 02:02, 18 November 2018 (UTC)
 * Down to French Revolutionary War, more later.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 02:03, 13 November 2018 (UTC)
 * Link ships-of-the-line, Roadstead of Brest, Bremen, Faro, Liverpool, schooner, Bordeaux, Passayes, Bayonne, grounded to Ship grounding, channel
 * Done - Except Passaye which I have removed because it has no article, and I'm struggling to find it on a map. --Ykraps (talk) 10:22, 18 November 2018 (UTC)
 * Fair enough.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 03:21, 19 November 2018 (UTC)
 * in Cancale bay Capitalize bay
 * Done --Ykraps (talk) 08:52, 18 November 2018 (UTC)
 * craft, out of Brest unnecessary comma Same with driven off, when two French and 14-gun privateer, Virginie
 * Removed --Ykraps (talk) 10:22, 18 November 2018 (UTC)
 * their topmasts broken Why?
 * In an effort to catch up, they had too much sail for the weather conditions. I have clarified this.--Ykraps (talk) 08:52, 18 November 2018 (UTC)
 * Always tell the reader what type of ship it is before naming it for the first time. You and I know that Blonde is a privateer, but the ordinary reader won't. And we don't want to force him to click on the link to find out.
 * Done --Ykraps (talk) 13:41, 18 November 2018 (UTC)
 * On 27 November, the ships of a squadron under the command of Captain Thomas Pasley of HMS Bellerophon captured Blonde off Ushant.[14] At the time of her capture Blonde was armed with 28 guns and had a crew of 210 men under the command of Citizen Gueria.[15] A subsequent prize money notice listed the vessels that shared in the proceeds as Bellerophon, Vanguard, Phoenix, Latona, and Phaeton. Too much detail. It can be easily compressed into a single sentence: "Latona helped to capture the privateer Blonde on..." and added to the previous paragraph.
 * Done - I've put the other detail in a footnote.--Ykraps (talk) 08:52, 18 November 2018 (UTC)
 * former Dutch convoy, in the hands of French ?
 * A Dutch convoy which had been captured by the French. It was previously Dutch, but at that time, it was French. I have tried to clarify. See what you think.--Ykraps (talk) 13:34, 18 November 2018 (UTC)
 * That works.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 03:21, 19 November 2018 (UTC)
 * on the 28 May Extra word?
 * Removed --Ykraps (talk) 11:04, 18 November 2018 (UTC)
 * John Bligh was assigned command assumed command
 * Assumed always makes me think that command was taken rather than given, but okay. --Ykraps (talk) 07:52, 19 November 2018 (UTC)
 * Perhaps it's related to a new captain reading himself in during the change of command ceremony, where he "assumes" the authority granted him by the Admiralty? Everything looks good, so promoting now.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 16:56, 20 November 2018 (UTC)
 * I agree it's an acceptable usage, just not the one I immediately think of. Thanks very much for the review.--Ykraps (talk) 07:53, 21 November 2018 (UTC)
 * captured a large number of small Dutch many small...
 * Done --Ykraps (talk) 07:52, 19 November 2018 (UTC)
 * link
 * Is this asking anything? --Ykraps (talk) 07:52, 19 November 2018 (UTC)
 * Move the link for Lisbon to first use.
 * Done --Ykraps (talk) 11:22, 18 November 2018 (UTC)
 * There's one further up.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 03:21, 19 November 2018 (UTC)
 * Got it --Ykraps (talk) 07:52, 19 November 2018 (UTC)
 * Down to Napoleonic Wars, more later.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 02:02, 18 November 2018 (UTC)
 * and was joined the following day were joined
 * Done --Ykraps (talk) 08:07, 20 November 2018 (UTC)
 * Fisgard. The latter grounding after a shift of wind. Replace the first period with a comma
 * Done --Ykraps (talk) 08:07, 20 November 2018 (UTC)
 * Link flag of truce, Patriotic Fund, store-ship, forecastle, quarterdeck, troopship
 * Done --Ykraps (talk) 08:29, 20 November 2018 (UTC)
 * ships and after half an hour, had comma after and
 * Done --Ykraps (talk) 08:29, 20 November 2018 (UTC)
 * Capitalize fund
 * Done --Ykraps (talk) 08:07, 20 November 2018 (UTC)
 * When did Wood assume command?
 * Sometime in April 1806, according to Winfield. I think there was a source that put it earlier, which is why it's written in that peculiar way, but I can't find it at the moment.--Ykraps (talk) 07:52, 19 November 2018 (UTC)
 * frigate, Junon no comma
 * Done --Ykraps (talk) 08:21, 20 November 2018 (UTC)
 * two British craft, Craft makes me think of small boats, try another synonym
 * Vessels? --Ykraps (talk) 08:21, 20 November 2018 (UTC)
 * The other two French 74s had been chased by Recruit and Neptune, when the squadron dispersed on 15 April, but managed to escape to Cherbourg Awkward, reword
 * I've flipped this sentence. See if you think it's any better. Otherwise, I can just say, "The other 74s were chased by Recruit and Neptune, but escaped to Cherbourg", or similar, if you think it's obvious which 74s are being discussed. --Ykraps (talk) 09:13, 20 November 2018 (UTC)
 * Use an endash for number ranges like 80–90.
 * Done --Ykraps (talk) 09:34, 20 November 2018 (UTC)
 * French storeships, Furieuse and Félicité comma after last name of a ship
 * Done --Ykraps (talk) 09:34, 20 November 2018 (UTC)
 * The two French storeships, Furieuse and Félicité left the Îles des Saintes on 15 April, the day after Troude's line-of-battle ships, they made it to Gaudeloupe unmolested but when they left on 14 June, they were pursued by Latona and the 16-gun sloop, HMS Cherub. Break this up; too much going on--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 03:21, 19 November 2018 (UTC)
 * I think that's a run-on sentence so I've replaced a comma with a full stop. --Ykraps (talk) 08:05, 19 November 2018 (UTC)