Talk:HMS Topaze (1903)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk · contribs) 17:25, 23 February 2022 (UTC)

Hi, I'll take this one. Reviewing shortly. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 17:25, 23 February 2022 (UTC)

Prelim

 * Protected cruiser and nautical mile are duplicated links
 * Done.
 * No edit wars
 * Image is correctly licensed
 * Earwig reports copyvio unlikely

Lede and infobox

 * Suggest changing protected cruiser link to more direct Protected cruiser
 * Done.
 * "with the Royal Navy" > "in the Royal Navy" - to me "with" sounds like an attachment
 * OK.
 * "was the lead of the class" > "was the lead ship of the class"
 * Amended.
 * "more powerful" stipulate in what way.
 * Clarified. There is more detail in the body.
 * "to the front" what front?
 * Clarified.
 * "sold and broken up in Germany" date?
 * Sentence removed as superfluous.
 * Namesake is not mentioned in main text
 * Referenced text added.
 * Normal load not mentioned in main text
 * Removed.
 * Beam differs between infobox and text
 * Reconciled.

Design and development

 * "third class" hyphen
 * Added.
 * "1902/1903 Programme" No link, so programme of what?
 * It is the term used by the Admiralty in the sources. A cursory look did not yield much more information so that is a possible good area for a new article.
 * "The design was generally similar" Considering you go on to name several very important ways in which they were not generally similar, would you be able to stipulate more specifically what the similarities were?
 * That is a good point. Clarified.
 * "The destroyer" turnover from a previous article?
 * I have been doing too many articles on destroyers…
 * Link long ton
 * Added.
 * Shafts needs an appropriate link
 * Wikilinked to propeller shaft as that is what is used in the HMS Clive article..
 * "design range" or designed range?
 * The source says "design range", analogous to "design speed".
 * Link broadside (naval)
 * Added.
 * "and four" > "with four"?
 * Done
 * "two tubes for 18 in (457 mm) torpedoes were fitted" when?
 * Clarified.
 * "it was less" thinner?
 * "on the flat" this seems a little too technical, average reader might not understand what part of the ship this refers to
 * Agreed. I have reworded the sentence to make it clearer.

Construction and career

 * Link Royal Navy
 * Done.
 * The Cruiser Squadron was disbanded in 1905, according to its article. Where did Topaze go after this?
 * The source does not say.
 * "For the following decade, the ship served in various capacities in the fleet." doesn't seem like a useful inclusion
 * Removed.
 * "act as the leader for destroyers" does this mean with the 4th flotilla or elsewhere? bit vague
 * Removed.
 * "On 1 April, the cruiser was commissioned" what? we've just been told that she's transferred to the 6th BS but now she's being recommissioned? feel like there's information missing here, no context as to why she was being commissioned at this point
 * Clarified.
 * "The destroyer remained" another "destroyer" snuck in!
 * Oops.
 * "as ievery vessel is denuded" ?
 * Removed.
 * "the ship joined the battleship" is this Prince of Wales? Was under the impression she was already with her
 * Clarified.
 * "on 1 January" stipulate the year
 * Added.
 * "The increasing need for naval vessels" for what reason?
 * Added.
 * Link Dover
 * Linked.
 * "The combined force" > "The combined squadron"? there's a lot of "force" in this sentence
 * True. Reworded.
 * "A typical patrol after 27 November" why after this date?
 * Clarified.
 * "escorting Italian troops and supplies to the front" what front?
 * Reworded to clarfiy.
 * "on 4 December, that the cruiser was attacked..." attacked by what? what happened?!
 * Expanded with reference.
 * "On 4 March 1917" have we just skipped an entire year of service?
 * Explained.
 * "8 destroyers" number consistency suggests this should be spelled out
 * Done.
 * "After the Armistice of 11 November 1918" another gap here - possible perhaps to outline what the British Adriatic Squadron did?
 * Explained.
 * An extra image might be nice, but is in no way necessary. Perhaps File:German U-Boat U-24 sinks the HMS Formidable New Year's Eve 1914-15.jpg?
 * Nice idea. Added.