Talk:HMT Richard Bacon/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Mark Arsten (talk · contribs) 16:19, 3 September 2012 (UTC)


 * Will review, comments to follow within the next few days, hopefully. Mark Arsten (talk) 16:19, 3 September 2012 (UTC)


 * Alright, I finally got around to reading this. It seems pretty close to GA status, a bit of copyediting and perhaps some rephrasing/small additions needed. I've made some copyedits myself, feel free to revert any of them that introduce errors. Length is not an issue, given the subject.

Lead
 * You might want to note its nation of origin in the lead, it might not be obvious to everyone.
 * Also, you might want to expand this just a little more.

First world war and subsequent civilian service
 * "she was mostly used for coastal anti-submarine patrols" Is there a good place to link "anti-submarine patrols"?
 * "Richard Bacon was built at Cook, Welton & Gemmell, Hull." You might want to write out "in Hull" so it doesn't look like it's part of the name.
 * "In 1923 she was transferred to Fleetwood, near Blackpool, when the company moved." You might want to restate the name here instead of "the company".
 * "She also regained the same manager as during her previous spell with the Boston company, Fred Parkes." Is there a good way to tighten this sentence up a bit, it feels somewhat wordy.
 * "and covered 6,100 statute miles (9,800 km)," You might want to link "statute miles" here.

Second World War
 * "On 29 August 1939, with the Second World War imminent, she was" Since this is a new subsection, I think you should write the name out instead of using "she".
 * "The hire rate was £84.6.0d per month." You might want to add a note about a modern equivalent to that sum.

Post-war
 * "which was in the middle of 40' waves." I'd suggest writing out the measurement here.
 * There are a few places some measurement conversion would be useful, "and 100 miles later", "23 miles distant", "during an 85mph gale" & "140 tons of coal"

General
 * Check for consistency in the use of commas after dates, i.e. "In 1940 [no comma] this happened" vs "In 1941, that happened"
 * There's an error message coming up for ISBN 978-1-935149--07-1, could you double check it? Mark Arsten (talk) 20:21, 5 September 2012 (UTC)
 * I've fixed the issues you've raised, I think - would you mind giving it another look? The Cavalry (Message me) 23:18, 5 September 2012 (UTC)
 * Alright, sounds good, I'll take another look later today and will probably pass it then. Mark Arsten (talk) 14:44, 7 September 2012 (UTC)


 * Ok, looks good, I'm passing it now. Mark Arsten (talk) 17:19, 7 September 2012 (UTC)