Talk:Hahoetal

Untitled
Hello!

I hope this peer review is helpful:

Your lead paragraph in clear and has excellent use of wiki links that give a deeper understanding and context to the article. In the secondly paragraph, nice job of introducing the legend in a non-definitive manner. As a reader I am clear from the start what information is not unequivocally proven. The Role of Each Mask and Performance subsections are clear, informative, context building, neutral, and well researched. This is impressive work. The external links are also great. I am reminded here that I should add more of these into my own article.

There is some unclear information in the Value section. I am not completely sure, in this instance, how “value” encompasses the information in this section. There are a few grammatical errors and confusing sentences particularly in this subsection. For example the first sentence is somewhat unclear due to what might be a grammatical error, and it the last few sentences may be more expressive with a different structure.

Thank you for the good work! Happy editing.

Emily Giant 03:57, 22 November 2016 (UTC) — Preceding unsigned comment added by Giantek (talk • contribs)

Hi, I think you might not have submitted your article for peer review yet. Hope its ok, I leave these notes here:

Lead section is clear but perhaps you could give an overview of the specific subsections you will go into later using the same phrases as you subsection headings. So when you mention stock characters, perhaps you subsection instead of role of each mask could be “stock characters or vice versa. Similarly for each subsection mention them in the lead. Also, you should add the 12th century time period estimate in the lead.

Great use of image and side box with names- perhaps you could an American English pronunciation. With your history I’m kind of confused with the introduction of Korean masks as different from Hahoe masks. Are they used for different purposes? Is Hahoe a kind of Korean mask? What are other types of Korean masks? “It is historical tradition that the masks have been almost produced by using alder trees[9] and apply lacquer twice or three times to color properly.” What does “Almost produced” mean?

Value section- could you use a different phrase than “facial look”- doesn’t sound right and I’m also not exactly sure what you mean. Perhaps, remove it all together or add another picture - we know what the masks look like from your image already there.

Another image suggestion is to add a map of the country or region of ancient Korea.

Because you mention it in your lead, I thought I would get another section or further knowledge about he Andong city festival. Maybe take that out of your lead and put it into the performance subsection or add more information about in this subsection.

Internal wiki links and other links for further knowledge- you could use internal links for many more people, places, and institutions mentioned throughout the article especially in History i.e Cultural Administration of Korea, Byeolsingut nori, Gaksital, Professor Arthur Joseph Mactaggart, Yeongnam University in Daegu, Kim Wan Bae (also who is she?).

External links- could you describe what each link will offer in terms of more information?

Great article!

Vivianavrgs (talk) 21:33, 19 November 2016 (UTC)

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): RaineRules. Peer reviewers: Vivianavrgs, Giantek.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 14:55, 18 January 2022 (UTC)