Talk:Hamdallah Mustawfi/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Governor Sheng (talk · contribs) 13:47, 18 October 2020 (UTC)

Well written: Verifiable with no original research: Broad in its coverage: Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
 * the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct; and
 * it complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.
 * it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline;
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 * it contains no original research; and
 * it contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism.
 * it addresses the main aspects of the topic; and
 * it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
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The introduction describes Hamdallah Mustawfi as an ethnic Persian, however, in the Biography chapter, Hamdallah is spoken of as a descendant of an Arab family. I suggest as a solution that the link where he is mentioned in the introduction as Persian leads to the Ilkhanate and not to the Persian people.

The second sentence in the first paragraph mentions that Amin al-Din was a mustwfi of Iraq, where the link leads to the modern state of Iraq. The link should be changed to the then region of Iraq, whatever that region was called at the time, and if such a link does not exist, then it should not even exist.

The rest of the prose is good. However, I noticed a major problem with the references throughout the entire article. Major source is Melville's book Persian Historiography: A History of Persian Literature, and at every sentence, the pages between 631–634 are used as a reference. However, after seeing the book, I noticed that the pages between 631–634 are Bibliography, and Hamdallah Mustawfi isn't even mentioned. This leaves the majority of article unreferenced. I suggest using the book correctly. --Governor Sheng (talk) 13:47, 18 October 2020 (UTC)


 * Being an descendant of a certain ethnic group does not necessarily make someone part of said group. We're after all probably descended from some other ethnicity. Many of the prominent Persian noble families (especially in Qazvin) in the Mongol era were descendants of Arab colonizers who had settled in Iran in the 7th-century, in other words; Arabs who had been Persianized. While Hamdallah is descended from an Arab family, sources still refer to him as a Persian, as he was indeed one.


 * Oo I didn't realize we had an article for that, changed it.


 * I assume you mean the 2003 Melville source? That's for the Iranica article, not the book


 * --HistoryofIran (talk) 14:39, 18 October 2020 (UTC)


 * It seems there were no big issues after all. Good. Promoting the article. --Governor Sheng (talk) 19:38, 19 October 2020 (UTC)