Talk:Hana Makhmalbaf

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Cinema4242. Peer reviewers: Bicyclepedia, Kevinz233.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 23:02, 16 January 2022 (UTC)

New Additions
Hello! An Early Life and Education section has been added, as well as additions to the lead paragraph and career section. Please let me know if there are any questions or concerns! Cinema4242 (talk) 22:15, 18 October 2018 (UTC)

Untitled
Hana Makhmalbaf is not a daughter of Marjieh Meshkini, but of Mohsen Makhmalbaf's first wife Fatemeh Meshkini. Mohsen Makhmalbaf clearly says that in an interview in Hamid Dabashi's book "Close-up Iranian Cinema, Past, Present and Future"

External links modified
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I have just modified 3 external links on Hana Makhmalbaf. Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:
 * Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20071011010211/http://makhmalbaf.com/news.php?lang=2&n=49 to http://www.makhmalbaf.com/news.php?lang=2&n=49
 * Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20071022103222/http://makhmalbaf.com/news.php?lang=2&n=50 to http://makhmalbaf.com/news.php?lang=2&n=50
 * Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20071011023449/http://makhmalbaf.com/persons.php?p=1 to http://makhmalbaf.com/persons.php?p=1

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Cheers.— InternetArchiveBot  (Report bug) 10:03, 2 January 2018 (UTC)

= Feedback for Cinema4242 = You added quite a bit to this article, as well as a number of sources. I made a few minor edits throughout the article, but also found several changes you should consider making. Firstly, consider adjusting you contribution to the introduction paragraph. You added plenty of awards, but I feel this is not a great way to introduce your filmmaker. I would suggest only listing her most notable awards and perhaps add a few additional facts about her — like how young she was when she got into film! Secondly, I would suggest you add citations more often. Many of your short paragraphs only have a citation at the end, but I would suggest citing after every sentence that you state a fact from a source in. Thirdly, I found several issues with the wording in the “Early Life and Education” section. Many of the sentences, especially in the latter two paragraphs, were focused on her personal feelings. For example, “Makhmalbaf outlined her education there by explaining that…”, “She noted that…”, “Makhmalbaf began to miss her previous schooling and went back for a few weeks”, "she quickly realized…” This is leaning towards being bias and too personal for a Wikipedia article. Though this is all important information, I would consider rewording it to sound more objective. Finally, I would suggest adding an Awards section (in either list or tables format), since she has received so many! This will also make it easier to avoid listing her awards in your introduction paragraph. Bicyclepedia (talk) 22:43, 26 October 2018 (UTC)

Peer Review
Really well done for this page! Good job! I can hardly find any mistakes you made in this page, however, there were few movie titles that has been falsely linked/cited,and I already fixed those information for you. During the reviewing I have noticed that few of those films from Hana Makhmabaf's collection do not have proper information online (Such as IMDB), I think the issue might be caused due to the absence of English movie title on those pages, so it is pretty different to correct some of information, such as the releasing year, and the translated title of her film. I can image how complicated this work is for you,but you are still doing a great job!Kevinz233 (talk) 20:41, 31 October 2018 (UTC)