Talk:Hands Across Hawthorne/Archive 1

Media
Are these worth including on the External links section?
 * Progressive Oregon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5zxigkm9C4
 * Added. -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 22:33, 7 June 2011 (UTC)

-- Another Believer ( Talk ) 23:07, 6 June 2011 (UTC)
 * BRO Director Jeana Frazzini speaks at Hands Across Hawthorne: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HA5IAqmAQsE
 * Added. -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 22:35, 7 June 2011 (UTC)
 * Personally I think those links would definitely be helpful, but they have to comply with WP:YOUTUBE. -- Jsayre64  (talk)  03:15, 7 June 2011 (UTC)
 * Thanks. Added both. I believe both links can be displayed since they are "official" videos. -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 22:35, 7 June 2011 (UTC)

-- Another Believer ( Talk ) 15:36, 8 June 2011 (UTC)
 * Link: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/06/05/982306/-Ask-the-Oregonian:-Are-4000-Gay-Rights-Supporters-Invisible

Comments and questions

 * I made some proofing changes. I don't mean to be too heavy-handed; if you don't like any of them, please revert. Here are some other suggestions or questions.
 * They are perfect. Much appreciated. -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 21:57, 7 June 2011 (UTC)


 * "News of the assault, which was condemned by Portland's openly gay mayor and Police Chief Mike Reese," - Because of the way this is written, there's a small risk of readers thinking that the gay mayor and the police chief are the same person. The main text makes clear that they are different people, but it wouldn't hurt to revise this sentence in the lead slightly. Maybe: "News of the assault, which was condemned by Portland's openly gay mayor, Sam Adams, and its police chief, Mike Reese,"?
 * Done. -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 21:57, 7 June 2011 (UTC)


 * "The attack prompted Q Center volunteers... " - Readers will want to know what the Q Center is.
 * Agreed. In fact I just added the organization's purpose before reading this comment, but I am wondering if I should move this up to the first use of the name. I just felt it would be hard to incorporate the purpose of the organization into the sentence where the name first appears. Will try to take another look at this... -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 21:57, 7 June 2011 (UTC)


 * "The attacks led to the formation of the Queer Patrol (or Q Patrols), groups of foot patrols... " - Would it be possible to say how many people have joined the patrols and when and where they operate? Is it known whether they have prevented specific attacks? The next sentence gives an example of an attack that was not prevented; this might leave the impression that the patrols are not effective.
 * Good point. Doing... -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 21:57, 7 June 2011 (UTC)
 * I have not found any content relating to the number of volunteers or specific crimes prevented thus far. I did, however, add the following: "Sarah Mirk of The Portland Mercury attributed the rise in the number of crimes related to gender or sexual identity in 2010 to an increased number of filed police reports, due in part to the Q Patrols. Not all hate crimes were prevented for the remainder of the year, however. In November 2010, a man perceived to be gay..." -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 23:10, 7 June 2011 (UTC)


 * "In November 2010, a man walking home in southeast Portland was severely beaten and left unconscious." - Should this be revised to say that the man was perceived to be gay? Otherwise, the connection between this beating and the main theme is lost.
 * Done. -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 22:16, 7 June 2011 (UTC)


 * Would it be possible to include statistics comparing the hate-crime rate in Portland to a few other major U.S. cities? Is it safer or less safe to be openly gay in Portland than, say, in San Francisco, Houston, or Kansas City? How does Portland compare to the national average for hate crimes against gays?


 * "According to Cassell, Hands Across Hawthorne marked one of the first times Portland's major LGBT rights organizations worked together on an event other than Pride." - Pride needs to be explained. I don't think the link to Pride Northwest is enough. Just a brief explanation in the main text would do.
 * I changed "Pride" to "Portland Pride Festival"--better? Perhaps I am assuming incorrectly that people know the purpose of a pride festival/parade... -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 22:21, 7 June 2011 (UTC)


 * "Stephen Cassell, event organizer and Q Center board member, reportedly "thought of the action plan in the middle of the night and quickly posted the idea on Facebook." - Here the Facebook idea is attributed to Cassell, but a few sentences above this it's attributed to the Cascade Aids Project. Could this be clarified somehow?
 * I thought this could be potentially confusing. My understanding is that CAP created a page for photos of hand-linking but not the page specifically for the rally. I will try to clarify. Doing... -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 21:57, 7 June 2011 (UTC)
 * Added the following to the Rally section: "This campaign was separate from Cascade Aids Project's hold-holding photo gallery and was specifically for promoting the rally." Let me know if you have another suggestion. -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 22:26, 7 June 2011 (UTC)


 * "One week following the rally, Mayor Sam Adams and his staff linked hands in solidarity." - Where did they do this? Not on the bridge, I assume. What was the occasion?
 * Looks like the mayor's office to me, but I will try to add additional details. Doing... -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 21:57, 7 June 2011 (UTC)
 * I cannot find another source with details about the staff hand-holding. Someone might recognize the location of the linking based on the image, though I am not sure if the location can be included in the article unless the source specifically states the location or not. I would assume Portland City Hall, but not 100% certain. -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 17:17, 8 June 2011 (UTC)


 * Progressive Oregon and Just Out noted The Oregonian's failure... " - Outsiders probably won't know anything about these three entities. It might be helpful to add brief descriptions; e.g., "noted the failure of the city's largest newspaper, The Oregonian... ". Ditto for Just Out. A brief description of Progressive Oregon could appear earlier in the sentence, "The organization Progressive Oregon also advertised the event."
 * Doing... -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 21:57, 7 June 2011 (UTC)
 * Done. Added that PO advocates for progressivism within the state, that Just Out is a LGBT newspaper in Portland, and included the description of The Oregonian that you provided. Thanks! -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 22:33, 7 June 2011 (UTC)


 * Future reviewers are sure to ask if the culprits were ever caught, if The Oregonian responded, or if anything else happened that might require an update. I'm sure you're keeping an eye out for follow-ups.
 * Sure thing. Already found a few additional follow-ups to include, such as the "Hands Across Monroe" in Spokane, Washington. -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 22:40, 7 June 2011 (UTC)


 * If I think of anything else, I'll post a further note here. Finetooth (talk) 21:07, 7 June 2011 (UTC)
 * Thank you so much! -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 22:40, 7 June 2011 (UTC)


 * You are welcome. I went through it again today and picked a few more extremely small nits. Finetooth (talk) 17:26, 8 June 2011 (UTC)
 * Much appreciated! Will take to GAN soon. -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 17:27, 8 June 2011 (UTC)

External links modified
Hello fellow Wikipedians,

I have just added archive links to 1 one external link on Hands Across Hawthorne. Please take a moment to review my edit. If necessary, add after the link to keep me from modifying it. Alternatively, you can add to keep me off the page altogether. I made the following changes:
 * Added archive http://web.archive.org/web/20111001123756/http://instinctmagazine.com/blog/4000-gather-on-portland%E2%80%99s-hawthorne-bridge-in-solidarity-with-hate-crime-victims?directory=100011 to http://instinctmagazine.com/blog/4000-gather-on-portland%E2%80%99s-hawthorne-bridge-in-solidarity-with-hate-crime-victims?directory=100011

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