Talk:Harry Laurent/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Hawkeye7 (talk · contribs) 18:48, 22 April 2018 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria


 * 1) Is it well written?
 * A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
 * Some issues; see below
 * B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:
 * 1) Is it verifiable with no original research?
 * A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:
 * B. All in-line citations are from reliable sources, including those for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons&mdash;science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines:
 * C. It contains no original research:
 * D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:
 * 1) Is it broad in its coverage?
 * A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:
 * Some minor issues (see below)
 * B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):
 * 1) Is it neutral?
 * It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
 * 1) Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
 * A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
 * B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
 * 1) Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
 * A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
 * B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * Pass or Fail:


 * Comments
 * I'd normally expect the lead to mention that his service with the NZEF was in the Great War
 * Revised lead. Zawed (talk) 08:55, 23 April 2018 (UTC)


 * "He also served with the Territorial Force" - The link here goes to the wrong article, on the British version
 * Points to NZ equivalent now. Zawed (talk) 08:55, 23 April 2018 (UTC)


 * "The Rifle Brigade as part of the newly formed New Zealand Division" was part.
 * Fixed. Zawed (talk) 08:55, 23 April 2018 (UTC)


 * However, that wasn't the case; it formed part of the New Zealand Division when it was formed in February 1916
 * Have rephrased, added a cite as well as I realised it wasn't supported by original cite. Zawed (talk) 08:55, 23 April 2018 (UTC)


 * Footnote 6: Are you sure that this covers both his actions and the history of the VC?
 * Good catch there. Fixed. Zawed (talk) 08:55, 23 April 2018 (UTC)


 * "A few months later, his service in the NZEF ceased and he returned to New Zealand" Are you sure about this? Australians' service was usually terminated after they returned to Australia.
 * Went back and revisited, in conjunction with your comment below. Looks like I got timings and sources mixed up so have revised this section. Zawed (talk) 08:55, 23 April 2018 (UTC)


 * Are you sure he returned with John Grant in October 1919? Because the local paper claimed he returned on 8 July 1919.
 * Revised as per previous comment. Zawed (talk) 08:55, 23 April 2018 (UTC)


 * I don't tend to think of Columbarium walls as being graves
 * Revised photo caption, also infobox. Zawed (talk) 08:55, 23 April 2018 (UTC)

All looks good. Hawkeye7  (discuss)  18:48, 22 April 2018 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review, you picked up a couple of real howlers. I believe I have addressed the issues raised. Thanks again. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 08:55, 23 April 2018 (UTC)
 * Passing now. Disappointed you didn't add the additional facts from the newspaper source.  Hawkeye7   (discuss)  09:43, 23 April 2018 (UTC)