Talk:Harry Potter video games/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Aza24 (talk · contribs) 04:49, 25 August 2020 (UTC)

Happy to review this article – expect comments in the next 24 hours or so. Aza24 (talk) 04:49, 25 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review - I've replied to all of your concerns below. :). Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski  (talk • contribs) 20:30, 30 August 2020 (UTC)

Comments

 * I may come back to the lead after reading through but it looks good.
 * generally the first mention of something in the text is linked even if already linked in the lead, right? (Electronic Arts)
 * Not sure why I didn't link this. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 18:07, 29 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Is the first line of development referenced later in the section or is there a missing ref?
 * Added a cite Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 18:07, 29 August 2020 (UTC)

Novel adaptations

 * "for the North American release" ?
 * Fixed Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 18:07, 29 August 2020 (UTC)
 * "...by five different teams, creating five different versions, for different consoles" may work better as "...by five different teams, each creating different versions for different consoles"
 * Done Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 18:07, 29 August 2020 (UTC)
 * "The game was released after the Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets," right now this sounds like the "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" was released after the Chamber of Secrets, is this really true?
 * Yes! Basically the first game was remade for next gen hardware after the release of the second game. I've reworded slightly. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 18:07, 29 August 2020 (UTC)
 * "The game featured puzzles aimed" starting this sentence with "the game" like the one before is a little awkward, and it's somewhat unclear which game is being referred to right after the mention of the Chamber of Secrets
 * "The PC version, however, many of the same..." missing word here? (contained? included?)
 * This sentence was missing two words! Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 18:07, 29 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Perhaps link Hedwig to Hedwig (Harry Potter) and link Buckbeak (which should redirect to it's section on Hagrid's page I believe
 * Done. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 18:07, 29 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Was there a Mac release for Prisoner of Azkaban?
 * I don't think so - I can't find a source that suggests that it did release. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 18:07, 29 August 2020 (UTC)
 * You could link "Multiplayer" in "Multiplayer components..."
 * done Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 18:07, 29 August 2020 (UTC)
 * "film of the same name" should be linked as such
 * Done Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 18:07, 29 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Was Hermoine still playable in Half Blood prince video game?
 * No, Just the two Weasleys in certain sections Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 18:07, 29 August 2020 (UTC)

Other
"The series was split into two: Lego Harry Potter: Years 1–4 was released in 2010 and Lego Harry Potter: Years 5–7 was released in 2011." may sound better as "The series was split into two: Lego Harry Potter: Years 1–4 was released in 2010, followed by Lego Harry Potter: Years 5–7 in 2011." (to avoid a double "was released in")
 * I'm assuming GBA means Game Boy advanced? I would spell it out here, I don't think a lot of people would be familiar with it. Alternativly you could have put: "(GBA)" after an earlier mention of this. Consider spelling out Electronic Arts here as well or doing the parenthesis thing in the development section: "Electronic Arts (EA) developed all games"
 * I've spelt it out. I think it's fine if we were to initial it, but not necessary. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 18:07, 29 August 2020 (UTC)
 * "Prisoner of Azkaban film" needs link
 * Linked Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 18:07, 29 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Quotes around Chasers is probably unnecessary
 * Might look into it and see if there is a glossary link for the term Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 18:07, 29 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Done Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 18:19, 29 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Perhaps combine this sentence "These were both released for PlayStation 3.[23] These games used the PlayStation Move controller, as well as the Wonderbook accessory for the PlayStation Eye." into one. At the moment a double "these" at the beginning of the sentence makes it rather choppy.
 * done Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:06, 29 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Link Voldemort
 * done Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:06, 29 August 2020 (UTC)
 * link Hogwarts Express and it should redirect to the appropriate section
 * Done Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:06, 29 August 2020 (UTC)
 * link "the book series" to Harry Potter?
 * Done Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:06, 29 August 2020 (UTC)
 * link Hogwarts in the first mention ("take place away from Hogwarts")
 * Done Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:06, 29 August 2020 (UTC)
 * "featured a new spin on the" -> "was a spin of on the" may more to the point
 * done Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:06, 29 August 2020 (UTC)
 * "In Harry Potter games, gameplay was often set around puzzles, although in some games, this is sometimes lessened in favour of more action-oriented scenes." there's some issues with this line
 * "although in some" and "sometimes" is redundant
 * At the moment, the line doesn't really mean anything. "Gameplay was often set around puzzles but sometimes around action" is basically what it's saying – can this be specified? It seems like the action games were the later ones so what about something like "In Harry Potter games gameplay was often set around puzzles, but later games had increasingly more action orientated scenes"
 * Reworded Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:06, 29 August 2020 (UTC)
 * It looks like Nintendo isn't mentioned until the releases table, should this be mentioned earlier in the "Novel adaptations" section?
 * Added a bit. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:06, 29 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Would link Nintendo
 * done Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:06, 29 August 2020 (UTC)
 * What is this line: "The series generally received acclaim for its representation of the media it is based on" supported by?
 * Reworded. and combined paras - this was an introductory sentence, but probably a bit NPOV-lite. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:06, 29 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Should Gamespot be italicized the earlier two times?
 * Indeed Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:27, 29 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Why "Gerald Villoria" italicized, is this a person?
 * Whoops, yeah shouldn't be italed. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:47, 30 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Why is Hogwarts italicized? And it should only be linked earlier?
 * Removed Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:47, 30 August 2020 (UTC)
 * "received severely lower scores" -> "received increasingly lower scores" perhaps
 * Done Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:47, 30 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Not sure why Kristine Steimer is italicized, is there something I'm missing about italicizing reviewers?
 * No, I didn't notice. I'll fix. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:47, 30 August 2020 (UTC)
 * The original "The Harry Potter video game series received mixed reviews from critics" isn't seeming so accurate after reading further, thoughts on rewording this line a little bit?
 * Mixed is pretty much the definition of what happened, it was good in places, bad in others. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:47, 30 August 2020 (UTC)
 * "been generally praised" –> "been generally praised better than the (however you describe the normal Harry Potter video games)" otherwise the line doesn't mean much
 * Done Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:47, 30 August 2020 (UTC)
 * link to Spike Video Game Awards?
 * Linked. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:47, 30 August 2020 (UTC)
 * I believe the two games in the "awards" section are overlinked
 * I'll do a full OL cull in a sec. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:47, 30 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Would link "original seven novels" in the note to the series article Aza24 (talk) 03:15, 26 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Done Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:47, 30 August 2020 (UTC)

General

 * I recognize you have the release timeline, but the years for most of the games are not mentioned in the text of the "Novel adaptations" section. Perhaps in order to not mess with the text too much, the first mention of the game could be put in parenthesis after the game? e.g. "During the release of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)..."
 * Hmm, you might be right although sometimes the year is specifically stated in the prose. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 20:29, 30 August 2020 (UTC)
 * I think I've got all the years. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 20:29, 30 August 2020 (UTC)
 * There's a lot of overlinking especially in the "other games" section
 * Did a cull. Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:56, 30 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Putting this article on hold for a week for these comments to be addressed. Will look through sources later. Aza24 (talk) 03:15, 26 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review - all looks pretty doable. I won't be able to look at this in depth until the weekend though, sadly. I'll address this then :). Best Wishes,  Lee Vilenski  (talk • contribs) 08:03, 27 August 2020 (UTC)

Source review
Getting back to this later than I meant to. Things are looking good, all comments have been addressed appropraitely, I'm gonna do a source view below:


 * I linked some publishers and such
 * All that's left is some refs missing the "|work=" or "|publisher=" (95, 96, 97, 116, 117, 118)
 * Fix these minor things and you'll be good to go! Aza24 (talk) 07:36, 2 September 2020 (UTC)
 * Lol I was about to ping to make sure you saw this but they're such minor fixes I figured I'd just quickly do them myself. Great work, here passing now!