Talk:Haseeb Ahsan/GA2

GA Review
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 15:20, 2 March 2014 (UTC)

Comments
 * Suggest image in info box is made smaller to alleviate the obvious artefacts of compression.
 * Done. —Zia Khan 14:44, 7 March 2014 (UTC)


 * Don't link Pakistan and Pakistani in the opening sentence to different things. Perhaps unlink the first altogether.
 * Unlinked the 1st one. —Zia Khan 14:44, 7 March 2014 (UTC)


 * "including 2 five-wicket" -> two.
 * Done. —Zia Khan 14:44, 7 March 2014 (UTC)


 * "at the average" just "at an average" is fine.
 * Done. —Zia Khan 14:44, 7 March 2014 (UTC)


 * "Ahsan never got married throughout his life." seems like an odd thing to include in the lead.
 * Removed. —Zia Khan 14:44, 7 March 2014 (UTC)


 * "ended up his" -> "resulted in the premature end of his"
 * Done. —Zia Khan 14:44, 7 March 2014 (UTC)


 * Expand PIA before using the abbreviation.
 * Done. —Zia Khan 14:44, 7 March 2014 (UTC)


 * National side in info box, just Pakistan, not Pakistani, is fine.
 * Done. —Zia Khan 14:44, 7 March 2014 (UTC)


 * "during 1955–63" -> "between 1955 and 1963".
 * Done. —Zia Khan 14:44, 7 March 2014 (UTC)


 * "against the Marylebone..."
 * Done. —Zia Khan 14:44, 7 March 2014 (UTC)


 * "43 wickets playing nine matches" wickets in nine matches.
 * Done. —Zia Khan 14:44, 7 March 2014 (UTC)


 * "scored historic 337 runs" why historic?
 * Removed "historic". —Zia Khan 14:44, 7 March 2014 (UTC)


 * "He conceded 84 runs in 21 overs without taking a wicket.[8][9] He took five of his wickets in three Tests against the West Indies.[10]" reads odd sequentially, needs rephrase.
 * Rephrased. —Zia Khan 14:44, 7 March 2014 (UTC)


 * "only managed 14 wickets in the next two" -> "took only 14 wickets..."
 * Done. —Zia Khan 14:44, 7 March 2014 (UTC)


 * "the Sargodha" who or what is this?
 * That was a Pakistani domestic team at that time. Fixed. —Zia Khan 14:44, 7 March 2014 (UTC)


 * "He played his last Test at the National Stadium" would add "in Karachi" because there are plenty of "National Stadium"s out there.
 * Done. —Zia Khan 14:44, 7 March 2014 (UTC)


 * "at the average of nearly 50" -> an average.
 * Done. —Zia Khan 14:44, 7 March 2014 (UTC)


 * "As an administrator" -> "Administrative career"
 * Done. —Zia Khan 14:44, 7 March 2014 (UTC)


 * "a powerful selector, spotted young talent" -> "a powerful selector, [who] spotted young talent"
 * Done. —Zia Khan 14:44, 7 March 2014 (UTC)


 * "remained 1987 Cricket World Cup Technical Committee's chairman" not sure "remained" is right here.
 * Rephrased. —Zia Khan 14:44, 7 March 2014 (UTC)


 * Is that the really the link you want for Counsel General?
 * Of course not, not sure where to link this? —Zia Khan 14:44, 7 March 2014 (UTC)


 * "Described by his colleague as a "perfect administrator".[21]" Not a complete sentence.
 * Done. —Zia Khan 14:44, 7 March 2014 (UTC)


 * "Though Ahsan never got married throughout his life, his friends and colleagues remember him with great fondness" I don't see how these two facts are linked at all.
 * Fixed. —Zia Khan 14:44, 7 March 2014 (UTC)


 * Link "called for throwing" appropriately.
 * Done. —Zia Khan 14:44, 7 March 2014 (UTC)


 * "ended up his" no need for "up".
 * Removed. —Zia Khan 14:44, 7 March 2014 (UTC)


 * " from Renal failure for two " no need for capital R.
 * Done. —Zia Khan 14:44, 7 March 2014 (UTC)

Enough for a quick first pass, so I'll put the article on hold for a week and re-review. The Rambling Man (talk) 10:40, 7 March 2014 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review, please have a look now. I think the above issues are now resolved. Regards, —Zia Khan 14:44, 7 March 2014 (UTC)