Talk:Hatfield rail crash/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Yellow Dingo (talk · contribs) 05:13, 15 October 2016 (UTC)

Taking. I'll post the full review soon. — Yellow Dingo&#160;(talk) 05:13, 15 October 2016 (UTC)

Infobox

 * "over 70" - capitalise
 * Are you sure about that? MOS:HEADCAPS says to use capitals on the headers of infoboxes, but says nothing about any other fields. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont)  10:17, 17 October 2016 (UTC)
 * I'd say, as it is kind of the start of a sentence, it would be better to capitalise. But, as there is no guideline on it, I'll leave it up to you. — Yellow Dingo&#160;(talk) 10:35, 17 October 2016 (UTC)
 * I suspect may be able to give us a definitive answer. <b style="color:#7F007F">Ritchie333</b> <sup style="color:#7F007F">(talk)  <sup style="color:#7F007F">(cont)  10:36, 17 October 2016 (UTC)
 * It's a sentence fragment, so as with a final full stop, an initial capital isn't really mandatory. But I would argue for consistency: consider the parameter Broken rail - either decapitalise that one to broken rail, or capitalise the one in question to Over 70 -- Red rose64 (talk) 16:58, 18 October 2016 (UTC)
 * That's a convincing argument, so caps it is. <b style="color:#7F007F">Ritchie333</b> <sup style="color:#7F007F">(talk) <sup style="color:#7F007F">(cont)  17:00, 18 October 2016 (UTC)

Lead

 * "A root cause of the accident was a lack of good communication, so that all staff were aware of maintenance procedures." - Rephrase. Reads like two random phrases mashed together. Maybe something along the lines of, "A root cause of the accident was a lack of good communication to the staff about maintenance procedures."
 * I've rewritten this to get rid of the passive voice, and it seems to read better now. <b style="color:#7F007F">Ritchie333</b> <sup style="color:#7F007F">(talk) <sup style="color:#7F007F">(cont)  10:17, 17 October 2016 (UTC)

Accident

 * "At the time of impact" → "At the time of derailment"
 * "following the impact" → "following the derailment"
 * Rather than reword this, I've removed the first "at the time of impact" as I don't think it's necessary. <b style="color:#7F007F">Ritchie333</b> <sup style="color:#7F007F">(talk) <sup style="color:#7F007F">(cont)  10:17, 17 October 2016 (UTC)

Cause
no issues!

Aftermath

 * "estimate of a 19%" → "estimated 19
 * Done, also copyedited the sentence <b style="color:#7F007F">Ritchie333</b> <sup style="color:#7F007F">(talk) <sup style="color:#7F007F">(cont)  10:17, 17 October 2016 (UTC)

Court case

 * In the first sentence of this paragraph you state "five individuals" and list five names but then you "The six people" - Fix the inconsistency
 * It's definitely five, also renamed to "managers" per the source <b style="color:#7F007F">Ritchie333</b> <sup style="color:#7F007F">(talk) <sup style="color:#7F007F">(cont)  10:17, 17 October 2016 (UTC)

2a

 * You link BBC News in REF6 when it is should be linked in REF5
 * Link The Daily Telegraph in REF23
 * Done; by the way, I personally recommend not referring to references by number, as a copyedit that reorders paragraphs and sentences can rearrange the whole sequence so things don't make sense anymore. <b style="color:#7F007F">Ritchie333</b> <sup style="color:#7F007F">(talk) <sup style="color:#7F007F">(cont)  10:17, 17 October 2016 (UTC)
 * Yeah normally, I would post a permalink of what edition I'm referring to for the ref numbers, but as I didn't think there would be many changes or ref number changes, I didn't bother for this GAN. — <b style="color:#FFCC33">Yellow</b> <b style="color:brown">Dingo</b>&#160;<b style="color:BLUE">(talk)</b> 10:33, 17 October 2016 (UTC)

Overall
Great article, probably the best I have reviewed. A few minor issues so putting on hold. — <b style="color:#FFCC33">Yellow</b> <b style="color:brown">Dingo</b>&#160;<b style="color:BLUE">(talk)</b> 09:43, 16 October 2016 (UTC)
 * I have addressed all the issues; can you have a look and see if there's anything else? <b style="color:#7F007F">Ritchie333</b> <sup style="color:#7F007F">(talk) <sup style="color:#7F007F">(cont)  10:27, 17 October 2016 (UTC)

Futher comments
The only further comments I have are:
 * For the "Judge dismisses Hatfield rail manslaughter charges" ref add Mark Milner as the author
 * Done <b style="color:#7F007F">Ritchie333</b> <sup style="color:#7F007F">(talk) <sup style="color:#7F007F">(cont)  11:13, 17 October 2016 (UTC)


 * The external link "Health & Safety Executive page on the Hatfield crash" is dead
 * Swapped to Wayback Machine link. <b style="color:#7F007F">Ritchie333</b> <sup style="color:#7F007F">(talk) <sup style="color:#7F007F">(cont)  11:13, 17 October 2016 (UTC)


 * "around 5 millimetres" → "around five millimetres" per MOS:SPELL09
 * How do you get the template to work with that? <b style="color:#7F007F">Ritchie333</b> <sup style="color:#7F007F">(talk)  <sup style="color:#7F007F">(cont)  11:13, 17 October 2016 (UTC)
 * Template:Convert. -- Red rose64 (talk) 10:32, 18 October 2016 (UTC)
 * Already done (but if you could help with the remaining infobox issue upthread that would be most appreciated) <b style="color:#7F007F">Ritchie333</b> <sup style="color:#7F007F">(talk) <sup style="color:#7F007F">(cont)  10:37, 18 October 2016 (UTC)
 * You link Driving Van Trailer twice in "Accident" section. Unlink the second per WP:OVERLINK
 * Done <b style="color:#7F007F">Ritchie333</b> <sup style="color:#7F007F">(talk) <sup style="color:#7F007F">(cont)  11:13, 17 October 2016 (UTC)
 * See Template:Convert. — <b style="color:#FFCC33">Yellow</b> <b style="color:brown">Dingo</b>&#160;<b style="color:BLUE">(talk)</b> 11:45, 17 October 2016 (UTC)
 * I think that's now working. <b style="color:#7F007F">Ritchie333</b> <sup style="color:#7F007F">(talk) <sup style="color:#7F007F">(cont)  12:25, 17 October 2016 (UTC)

— <b style="color:#FFCC33">Yellow</b> <b style="color:brown">Dingo</b>&#160;<b style="color:BLUE">(talk)</b> 10:50, 17 October 2016 (UTC)

Close
OK I'm now satisfied that this article meets the the criteria so I am passing this GAN. I'll leave that infobox point up to you to do what you like with. Congratulations! — <b style="color:#FFCC33">Yellow</b> <b style="color:brown">Dingo</b>&#160;<b style="color:BLUE">(talk)</b> 06:49, 18 October 2016 (UTC)