Talk:Hawaii Five-0 (2010 TV series)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: AmericanAir88 (talk · contribs) 03:35, 30 November 2017 (UTC)

Good day, I hope you are having a fantastic weekend. I hope we can get through this easy and stress free.

Opening Comments
Welcome to the review for Hawaii Five-o(2010 TV series). I structure my reviews like a trial. My reviews are all about your voice as I will simply post issues and you will do the work solving them. If necessary I will make very minor copy edits to the article if I feel they don't need a whole bullet point dedicated to them. Anyway, I am looking forward to working with you. AmericanAir88 (talk) 03:35, 30 November 2017 (UTC)


 * Sorry for the Delay, I was on Vacation. AmericanAir88 (talk) 03:33, 5 December 2017 (UTC)


 * No apologies needed take your time. TheDoctorWho (talk) 04:45, 5 December 2017 (UTC)

Issues

 * The lead needs to be expanded, especially the parts around " Like the original, it follows an elite state police task force set up to fight crime in the state of Hawaii."✅


 * The ending of the lead has two sentences of season seven and season eight. I suggest removing the season seven sentence and expanding on the eighth season sentence.✅


 * "The task force answers only to the Governor of the state of Hawaii and is given immunity and means to investigate crimes ranging from terrorism to kidnapping." Elaborate more on the immunity and the crimes.✅


 * "McGarrett chooses as his partner Honolulu PD Detective-Sergeant Danny "Danno" Williams." This area of the premise confused me.✅


 * The character listings in the "Premise" section becomes run-on and drags. -Accepted


 * Any info on Kimee Balmilero? If not move to recurring cast section.✅


 * "This version did not go beyond the script stage." Citation Needed✅


 * "Production on the pilot was shot in and around Honolulu from February to April 2010." Citation Needed✅


 * "Exteriors representing Five-0 headquarters in the series are located at the Judiciary History Center of the Supreme Court Building in Honolulu, directly across the street from Iolani Palace, which represented Five-O headquarters in the original series." Citation Needed✅


 * The Broadcast and Streaming Section needs reworking.✅


 * Tons of Reference Errors.

AmericanAir88 (talk) 03:17, 6 December 2017 (UTC)


 * I fixed almost all the issues you mentioned above. I will not able to fix the "Premise" section without removing some of the character listings. I was also not able to find information on the part about the script so I removed the single sentence. Everything else should be fixed. TheDoctorWho (talk) 04:04, 6 December 2017 (UTC)

Second Rethrough:


 * References 25 and 32 and still broken. Also reference 32's title needs to be changed as it contains a url.


 * The lead doesn't need "expected to contain 24 episodes" put something along the lines of "On March 23, 2017, CBS renewed the series for an eighth season which premiered on September 29, 2017.


 * Everything else was perfect AmericanAir88 (talk) 00:47, 7 December 2017 (UTC)


 * Alright those two things should be fixed. TheDoctorWho (talk) 01:04, 7 December 2017 (UTC)

All Issues have been solved, the review table will now begin. AmericanAir88 (talk) 20:19, 7 December 2017 (UTC)

Closing Comments
Congratulations on passing. Your dedication and hard work was fantastic. I hope we can work together in the near future. Have a fantastic day. If you need any help on anything just ask. If you want me to take a look at any other articles you have for review, I will be more than happy to. Thank you. AmericanAir88 (talk) 03:32, 8 December 2017 (UTC)
 * Thank you so much for helping me to make this a good article! Let me know if there's anything I can ever do for you! TheDoctorWho (talk) 03:35, 8 December 2017 (UTC)