Talk:Haynes Academy for Advanced Studies/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: EricEnfermero (talk · contribs) 07:52, 14 May 2013 (UTC)

I'll be glad to take on this review. I appreciate the nominator's efforts to improve this entry. The article requires more work before it meets the Good Article criteria. I'll explain that below. I will place the article on hold for a week so that the nominator can attempt to address the feedback below. If these edits are too extensive to complete in a week, a better option may be to close this nomination, work on the article at a more leisurely pace, then renominate the article later. I'm open to both options. Just let me know.

Here are some of the bigger issues:

Lead
The lead section is an important part of the criteria. The lead section should be able to stand alone as a quick summary of the article. It sums up information that is later found in more detail in the body of the article. In this case, there is information in the lead which isn't in the body; some of it looks like it is unsourced.

Referencing issues
Some of the references don't seem to support the statements provided. An example is the statement about special education. The reference supports special education services for the system, but I don't see any information about Haynes there. In some cases, particularly late in the article, the wording in the article is too close to (or the same as) the reference. See WP:PARAPHRASE.

Breadth and depth of the article
In some places, the coverage of the school isn't as broad as I would expect. At WP:GA/SSS, you can look at some successful education GAs to get an idea of information that you might add. Example: Has the school had any notable alumni? (The high school likely hasn't, but the middle school has more history behind it.)

In some places, it's just an issue of depth. You mention that the school offers certain subjects, and that a specific curriculum is followed. What are the graduation requirements in that curriculum? You mention that football is ranked 230th in the state; is that within a certain classification of schools or does it include every high school in the state? Which organization is publishing the ranking? Is it based on voting, win-loss record or something else? Also think about how much weight you give each subject. The web safety programs take up more space in this article than I'd expect for a minor aspect of the school.

Prose
An important aspect of a GA nomination involves clear and concise language. The prose in this article is largely a series of one-line or two-line sentences. See whether you can combine some of them to make the article flow more easily.

There are some more minor issues, but those are easily corrected and won't stand in the way of Good Article status. I am much more worried about these larger issues. Again though, I appreciate your work. Please let me know if I can assist you. EricEnfermero Howdy! 08:42, 14 May 2013 (UTC)
 * Closing this nomination for now. It can be nominated again at any point. EricEnfermero  Howdy! 04:54, 23 May 2013 (UTC)