Talk:Headroom LGBTQ+ Lounge/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Gerald Waldo Luis (talk · contribs) 18:22, 2 July 2021 (UTC)

Haven't touched the GAN page for so long. Anyway, I'm back. Looks like a great article about a pitiful story. Recently got my first boyfriend, so this could b a pretty weird way of celebrating?  Gerald WL  18:22, 2 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Hey, nice to see you again! Armadillo  pteryx  22:43, 2 July 2021 (UTC)

Lead and infobox

 * Map caption reads "Location within Hudson County, New Jersey". I think it could benefit from a link to Hudson County. That is, if it could be altered.
 * I agree, but unfortunately the text is autogenerated from the pushpin map template. I don't know of a way to alter it.
 * Lead looks good, nothing to complain.

Description

 * "Located at 150 Bay Street in Jersey City, New Jersey, Headroom was co-owned"-- perhaps have it "Headroom LGBTQ+ Lounge" as it is the first mention in the body.
 * "called "A Trans-elebration","-- trivial, but maybe it could be great to have a note that reads "An alteration of ''celebration."?
 * I'm not sure that clarification is needed.
 * "parties hosted by Olivia Lux." Mind giving a brief description as to who Lux is?
 * Sure! ✅.
 * Sure! ✅.

History
 Gerald WL  10:28, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "that address before Headroom LGBTQ+ Lounge"-- since the full name has been stated earlier in the body, the "LGBTQ+ Lounge" bit here is not needed.
 * I think it's needed to differentiate it from the previous business at that address, which was called Headroom Bar & Social.
 * In the image caption, after "QR codes", adding "(bottom-left)" would be helpful.
 * I don't feel too strongly, but I also don't think it's needed.
 * I think it could be helpful: the image is vertical, and the QR is out of the typical focus area of humans when seeing a picture (see photo; center is the focus). I myself didn't spot the image until I zoomed in at the photo.  Gerald WL  11:37, 4 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Fair enough. ✅. Armadillo  pteryx  19:33, 4 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "From June 2018 through the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic, the establishment was Headroom Bar & Social, a neighborhood bar that featured live jazz performances, comedians and other artists." It's not merely a rename right? If so, suggest changing "establishment was" to "establishment's location once stood".
 * The location was no different; it was a rebranding (so different products, shows, etc., but no change in the space itself).
 * "businesses is that ... this is"-- The ... is omission of sentence, right? I'd prefer [...] as it's more common, and ... usually renders as a pause.
 * MOS:... does not indicate use of brackets here.
 * "contact tracing, and all of its tables were spaced 6 feet (1.8 m) apart"-- Links to contact tracing and social distancing would be helpful.
 * "remain masked"-- link to Face masks during the COVID-19 pandemic in the United States.
 * "remain masked"-- link to Face masks during the COVID-19 pandemic in the United States.
 * That article is linked in the following paragraph, from the text "indoor mask use". Armadillo  pteryx  19:03, 3 July 2021 (UTC)

Closure

 * "weekend, when New Jersey's mandate"-- link New Jersey.
 * "mandate on indoor mask use and other"-- assuming the above point is a done, this link should be removed.
 * I think this is a more appropriate location for the link than above, but I can change it if you feel strongly.
 * I think I feel strongly on this. The whole point of "Patrons required to wear mask" is coz of the mandate.  Gerald WL  11:39, 4 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Okay, I've made the change. Armadillo  pteryx  19:34, 4 July 2021 (UTC)
 * "who planned a "public shaming" rally"-- link to public shaming.  Gerald WL  10:28, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅. Armadillo  pteryx  19:05, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅. Armadillo  pteryx  19:05, 3 July 2021 (UTC)

Reception

 * "In a statement to NJ.com, Nicky Doll"-- Nicky Doll has been mentioned previously, so "Nicky" is not needed here.
 * Not sure whether "Doll" should be treated like a surname here; maybe could offer input?
 * Overall the section is good. If it were to go to FA I would recommend paraphrasing.  Gerald WL  10:28, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Noted; thank you for the input! Armadillo  pteryx  19:07, 3 July 2021 (UTC)

Others

 * Recommend adding alt texts to images.
 * Suggest moving portals to see also?  Gerald WL  10:31, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅. Armadillo  pteryx  19:10, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅. Armadillo  pteryx  19:10, 3 July 2021 (UTC)

Overall
, the article seems to meet the criteria already, so congrats! Passing.  Gerald WL  10:06, 5 July 2021 (UTC)