Talk:Heather Chasen/GA2

GA Review
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Reviewer: Wizardman  Operation Big Bear 04:08, 2 September 2011 (UTC)

I'll review this article shortly. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 04:08, 2 September 2011 (UTC)

Here are the issues I found:
 * Reading links to a dab page, as does Suspense; not sure which location is meant for either. ✅- Note- Suspense (disambiguation) is linked to dab as the actuall TV show dosent have a page, though is mentioned on the dab.
 * "Her best known roles are playing 'super bitch' Valerie Pollard in the ITV soap opera Crossroads between 1982–86 [3] or voicing" two things. First, should be "and voicing".✅ Second, not sure about having 'super bitch' in the lead, though I'm find with in later in the body. ✅
 * I would expand the lead a bit more, adding a bit more on what she did pre-2011, since 2011 comprises about half the lead right now. I've just put in the lead the main roles- the ones with seperate sections (apart from Navy Lark)- I included the later as she appeared in it a lot.  I have now done this. ✅
 * Do we know where in Singapore she was born? ✅- No. :(
 * "Douglas Fairbanks Jr" have the comma and period in there. I dont understand. ✅
 * "although has never spoken about this" although Chasen has. It's not in the ref, but hard to ref something that isn't there so I won't worry about it.
 * "She married in 1949, to John Webster, in Surrey" neither comma needed, and remove space between Surrey and the ref. ✅
 * there's many spots where you're using single quotations when they should be double " " Where abouts?
 * I just had a look and I think I've caught them all. - JuneGloom    Talk  00:54, 9 September 2011 (UTC)
 * , "Pollard." [3]" rm space ✅
 * The crossroads section is almost entirely quotations, and the one from the lead is nowhere to be seen at that. Couldn't some of it be reworded to general prose?. ✅
 * References shouldn't be in all-caps, fix those that are. ✅ The last two references need cleanup as well. ✅
 * What makes Findmypast a reliable source? I was told it was-Is it not?. ✅

I asked about your activity earlier since I was strongly considering quick-failing this, but I'll give you a shot to clean it all up. Upon these being fixed, I'll do a second read-through as I didn't touch on everything quite yet. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 18:03, 4 September 2011 (UTC)
 * If Findmypast has been vetted before as acceptable before then I'll accept it. As for Fairbanks, Douglas Fairbanks Jr redirects to Douglas Fairbanks, Jr. so why not just add the punctuation in? Wizardman  Operation Big Bear 18:00, 5 September 2011 (UTC)

I'll do the second run-through tonight, sorry for the delay. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 16:32, 8 September 2011 (UTC)

Here are some more issues:
 * "beginning filming on 15 April 2011." this doesn't really seem necessary for the lead, only tangential to the bio and not a main point.✅
 * "She had before played a journalist for one episode," should be a colon instead of a comma if its just jumping to a quote.✅

Once those couple things are fixed I'll pass the article. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 02:45, 9 September 2011 (UTC)

While I would still like the lead to be expanded a bit, everything else checks out so I'll pass the article as a GA. Wizardman  Operation Big Bear 22:40, 9 September 2011 (UTC)