Talk:Hejaz Air Force/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Catlemur (talk · contribs) 16:49, 17 February 2021 (UTC)

I will start the review shortly.--Catlemur (talk) 16:49, 17 February 2021 (UTC)

--Catlemur (talk) 18:05, 20 February 2021 (UTC)
 * More context needs to be provided regarding the Arab Revolt. Wikilink Allied countries and explain that it was part of World War I, explain who and why the Arabs were fighting.
 * ✅ This is now expanded.
 * "the attack of 18 August 1918" - What are attack are you referring to?
 * ✅ Amended and wikilinked.
 * "had originally been going to sold to Somaliland" → "were originally going to be sold to Somaliland"; wikilink Somaliland
 * ✅ I have rephrased this. The source does not say which Somaliland (British, Italian or French) and it is not good practice to wikilink disambiguation pages. Do you have a suggestion please?
 * Remove Unfortunately
 * "latterly of the Royal Air Force" - Do you mean formerly?
 * and Greek mechanic. → and a Greek mechanic.
 * Unfortunately, Brookes had already left for Egypt → By that time, Brookes had already left for Egypt
 * Why was morale low?
 * The information is ambiguous in the sources and I do not feel gives a clear picture. There are anecdotes of some pilots who left when they were asked to fly in action but I am not sure how representative this is of the whole so I have not mentioned them in case of putting undue weight.
 * the small force had keeping pilots. → the small force had with keeping pilots.
 * ✅ Thank you - that sentence needed rewriting.
 * "These proved to be the only fatalities in action" - Do you mean in the said bombing raid or the force's only losses in active service?
 * ✅ Amended to clarify.
 * crashes had destroyed all but one of the fleet →  crashes had destroyed all but one of the fleet's aircraft
 * Were the Germans mercenaries or volunteers?
 * ✅ Clarified.
 * Wikilink Ali bin Hussein's entire name.
 * The fact that the force fought in the Hejaz-Nejd War is only mentioned in the lede. Mention briefly who was it fought between and when in the main body of the article.
 * ✅ This is expanded with referenced information.
 * F W Stent → F. W. Stent, C L Lowe →  C. L. Lowe
 * a new batch were ordered → a new batch was ordered
 * Remove Unfortunately, again.
 * Why did the central hub on Tarout Island and the new flight school fail?
 * ✅ This is now expanded.
 * Why did the Syrian refuse? Was Kurt Krakowsky also sick at the time?
 * ✅ More detail added.
 * Wikilink taxied.
 * The Air Force also had single AEG and Albatros aircraft left - Reword this.
 * Add the Category Military units and formations disestablished in 1932.
 * Add ISBNs or OCLCs for all books cited.
 * ✅ ISBN added for Tuson and Burdett
 * Taylor, Michael J H. → Taylor, Michael J. H.
 * Gill 1931, p. 1–2. → Gill 1931, pp. 1–2.
 * Lede says it was the oldest Air Force on the Arabian Peninsula but the main body says oldest Air Force in Arabia.
 * ✅ Clarified.
 * Infobox says that there was only 1 pilot serving in 1924. The main body says that Abdul Salam Sarhan began flying in 1923 and Hassan Nazer joined on 3 August 1924, so its implied that at least two pilots were serving at the time.
 * ✅ Yes- the data seems contradictory. I have replaced this with a different date where information is clearer.
 * The Hejaz Flying Corps nickname is only mentioned in the infobox as is the unit's participation in the Battle of Jeddah.
 * ✅ Updated with sources.
 * The main body says that the unit was equipped with machine guns at some point, yet the lede does not mention any strafing. Why were they never used?
 * Unfortunately the sources do not say and I am wary of speculating.
 * Add ISBNs or OCLCs for all books cited.
 * ✅ ISBN added for Tuson and Burdett
 * Taylor, Michael J H. → Taylor, Michael J. H.
 * Gill 1931, p. 1–2. → Gill 1931, pp. 1–2.
 * Lede says it was the oldest Air Force on the Arabian Peninsula but the main body says oldest Air Force in Arabia.
 * ✅ Clarified.
 * Infobox says that there was only 1 pilot serving in 1924. The main body says that Abdul Salam Sarhan began flying in 1923 and Hassan Nazer joined on 3 August 1924, so its implied that at least two pilots were serving at the time.
 * ✅ Yes- the data seems contradictory. I have replaced this with a different date where information is clearer.
 * The Hejaz Flying Corps nickname is only mentioned in the infobox as is the unit's participation in the Battle of Jeddah.
 * ✅ Updated with sources.
 * The main body says that the unit was equipped with machine guns at some point, yet the lede does not mention any strafing. Why were they never used?
 * Unfortunately the sources do not say and I am wary of speculating.
 * The main body says that the unit was equipped with machine guns at some point, yet the lede does not mention any strafing. Why were they never used?
 * Unfortunately the sources do not say and I am wary of speculating.
 * . Thank you for your rigorous review. Please take a look at the amendments I have made. Another editor has added to the table with images subsequent to your review. I have amended this to remove duplicate links and unsourced information. The lede is also expanded to hopefully inspire more readers to read further. simongraham (talk) 11:34, 23 February 2021 (UTC)


 * Add references to the infobox in the Aircraft section since parts of it contain information that is otherwise not mentioned in the rest of the article.--Catlemur (talk) 14:14, 23 February 2021 (UTC)
 * I have changed the infobox to list all the aircraft types that were known to have flown. simongraham (talk) 23:08, 24 February 2021 (UTC)
 * What I meant was that some of the aircraft types and delivery dates are only mentioned in the infobox and should therefore be referenced.--Catlemur (talk) 13:49, 25 February 2021 (UTC)
 * I have added clarifications and a couple more citations in the body. Does this help please? simongraham (talk) 21:43, 25 February 2021 (UTC)


 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):  d (copyvio and plagiarism):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail: --Catlemur (talk) 21:58, 25 February 2021 (UTC)
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail: --Catlemur (talk) 21:58, 25 February 2021 (UTC)
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail: --Catlemur (talk) 21:58, 25 February 2021 (UTC)