Talk:Helen Shiller/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Grandiose (talk · contribs) 18:16, 17 June 2012 (UTC)

Opening comments
Some work required here:
 * Lead (WP:LEAD): very short; does not adequately summarise the article's content. Doesn't mention anything about her personal life, for example and is well under the general guide for lead length.
 * lead expanded, thanks Hugh (talk) 00:01, 13 November 2012 (UTC)


 * Layout: "Education" is too short, I feel, and should be merged to early life.
 * ok, thanks Hugh (talk) 01:13, 20 June 2012 (UTC)


 * Coverage: Quite patchy. The article focusses heavily on some aspects ("Failed attempt to enter low-income housing consent decree") whereas whole years of her life ("Second term (1991–1995)") are barely mentioned. This is a big problem; the article must comply with:
 * (a) it addresses the main aspects of the topic and
 * (b) it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail.
 * There are problems on both counts. I've given the worst examples, but the other periods of her life are also somewhat patchy. This ought to be improved. I'd stick to a "First term, Second term..." structure; clearly some events are more important than others but this ought to be a guide to the appropriate length.
 * The article reads patchy because the subject's life is patchy! with respect to footprint in rs. I like the organization into terms, too, but it has the unintended side effect of drawing attention to the under-the-radar terms, which is where let's face it most far less notable Chicago aldermen spend their careers. After a thorough review of Studs, newspapers, and magazines, I think the article does a decent job of reflecting coverage in rs. I've removed some detail and shortened the article.Hugh (talk) 23:36, 12 November 2012 (UTC)
 * "The article focusses heavily on some aspects (Failed attempt to enter low-income housing consent decree)" Editing 1st term for length. Hugh (talk) 01:51, 26 November 2012 (UTC)
 * "whereas whole years of her life ("Second term (1991–1995)") are barely mentioned" Adding additional notable detail from rs to middle terms. Hugh (talk) 01:51, 26 November 2012 (UTC)
 * I've trimmed the 1st term, and reviewed rs for the middle-term years, and I think the coverage in the WP article is reasonably proportional to rs at this point. Hugh (talk) 22:29, 1 December 2012 (UTC)


 * There are external links in the main body text.
 * removed, thanks Hugh (talk) 23:36, 12 November 2012 (UTC)


 * Images seem OK with OTRS permission.
 * Sourcing appears fine; web-links should have a retrieval/access date, however.
 * accessdates added Hugh (talk) 06:45, 6 December 2012 (UTC)


 * On hold for seven days so these issues can be addressed. Grandiose (me, talk, contribs) 18:16, 17 June 2012 (UTC)
 * A few tweaks have been made, but there's still a lot of work to do. For this reason, I'm failing the article. Once the issues have been addressed, I suggest you nominate and the article will be in good stead: all failing does is give the article more time to develop. Grandiose (me, talk, contribs) 15:56, 24 June 2012 (UTC)