Talk:Helene Hathaway Britton/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 17:48, 15 March 2022 (UTC)

Hello! I'll be reviewing this article to help reduce the good article nomination backlog and to gain points in the WP:WIKICUP. Although quid pro quo is not required, if you fancy returning the favor, I have a list of articles in need of review here. —  Ghost River  17:48, 15 March 2022 (UTC)
 * Hopefully the wordsmitthing it's gotten as a DYK will help. – Muboshgu (talk) 02:48, 16 March 2022 (UTC)

Infobox and lede

 * I'd rephrase the first paragarph so that it's "... was an American baseball executive. When she inherited the St. Louis Cardinals of the National League in 1911, she became the first woman to own a Major League Baseball franchise."
 * How's this instead?
 * No commas needed anywhere in "Her father Frank and uncle Stanley Robison"
 * Done.
 * Delink "St. Louis Cardinals of the National League" in second para, since they were linked in the first
 * Done

Early life

 * Per MOS:SEAOFBLUE, "Cleveland, Ohio" should be one WL (to the city) and not two (Curiously, everywhere else seems to follow this)
 * Done – Muboshgu (talk) 05:08, 27 March 2022 (UTC)
 * "Britton's father and uncle, Stanley Robison," "Frank Robison and his brother Stanley" or some other such change to avoid the awkward syntax where it sounds like her father and uncle are the same person (in this case Stanley)
 * Done – Muboshgu (talk) 05:08, 27 March 2022 (UTC)
 * "bought the St. Louis Cardinals as well" "purchased another National League team, the St. Louis Cardinals,"
 * Done – Muboshgu (talk) 05:08, 27 March 2022 (UTC)
 * The Spiders were contracted after the 1899 season. Not immediately obvious what this means to a subject non-expert
 * Hmm – Muboshgu (talk) 05:08, 27 March 2022 (UTC)
 * I changed it to "eliminated", which is in line with the language of the source. – Muboshgu (talk) 00:11, 28 March 2022 (UTC)

1911-1913

 * "sole ownership" of what?
 * Fixed
 * It also doesn't directly specify in the newspaper article that Uncle Stanley took over the Cardinals upon his brother's death, only that Frank resigned the presidency in 1906 and Stanley is "currently" president
 * I took out "became the sole owner" as it's not explicitly in sources. Frank resigned the team presidency in 1906 and Stanley succeeded him as team president, but they both remained co-owners until Frank's death
 * "while leaving Britton's mother the other one-fourth" "while the other one-fourth went to Britton's mother"
 * Done
 * The whole part about the "original will" doesn't specify what the source does, that this is a purported original will and testament
 * Added "purported"
 * owner meetings where other owners any way to rephrase to reduce repetition?
 * Removed the first "owner"
 * Throughout this section, MOS:LARGENUM should be followed, rounding these "current dollar terms"
 * Done

1914-1917

 * See above about the numbers
 * Done
 * ""squandered her means to such an extent that her property was imperiled."" ""squandered her means to such an extent that her property was imperiled"." per MOS:LQ
 * Done
 * "Britton became ready" "Britton was willing"
 * Done
 * "The conditions at Robison Field had deteriorated"
 * Done

Later life

 * See MOS:SEAOFBLUE above for "Philadelphia, Pennsylvania"
 * Done. For Boston MA too.
 * Mention that she died of an illness as per NYT source
 * Done

General comments

 * Images are all public domain and obviously relevant
 * Per MOS:CAPTION, the last image should not have a period at the end of the caption, as it's a sentence fragment
 * No stability concerns in the revision history
 * Copyvio score looks good

Putting on hold for now. As always, please feel free to ping me if you have any questions, and let me know when you're finished! —  Ghost River  20:00, 20 March 2022 (UTC)
 * Have forgotten to get started on these.... but I will this weekend. – Muboshgu (talk) 16:01, 26 March 2022 (UTC)
 * all done. – Muboshgu (talk) 00:45, 28 March 2022 (UTC)
 * Sorry for the wait. Bipolar is a pain in the ass. I'm passing this now, as the one quibble I have doesn't really affect GA. While saying the NL "eliminated" the Spiders is consistent with the source, I think the phrasing is awkward for those unfamiliar with that era of MLB, and wouldn't mind the clarification that they were demoted to the minors (albeit with another source). Like I said, does not imminently affect anything as it's coherent with the source, but something to consider. In any case, passing now! —  Ghost River  20:34, 1 April 2022 (UTC)
 * , no need to worry. I wondered if the delay might've been because I had forgotten to work on this for several days. – Muboshgu (talk) 21:59, 1 April 2022 (UTC)