Talk:Hell Comes to Quahog/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Wizardman  Operation Big Bear 01:00, 25 November 2010 (UTC)

I'll review this within the next couple days. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 01:00, 25 November 2010 (UTC)


 * When you do, please note that the nominator has yet to address any of the problems brought up when the article was delisted a couple months ago in its GAR. He renominated it as soon as it was delisted. Ω  pho  is  02:44, 25 November 2010 (UTC)
 * Noted, reading over that now. There have been no major edits since 9/5, so if I find enough issues I might just fail and put a copyedit tag up. Wizardman  Operation Big Bear 22:54, 27 November 2010 (UTC)

I went through the sources to make sure everything was fine on that end. That took a bit longer than expected, but both reviews seem acceptable, which I know was an issue in other Family Guy articles. I'll do a prose review tonight then we should be good to go. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 14:49, 1 December 2010 (UTC)

Here are the prose issues I found:
 * "and upsets the local community, including Peter." throwing in Peter feels rather repetitive and isn't needed.
 * Done. Gage (talk) 20:15, 5 December 2010 (UTC)
 * "It received mostly positive reviews from critics for its storyline, and many cultural references." comma not needed, also were they praising that the references were good, or that there were a lot? Could go either way as written, clarify.
 * Done. Gage (talk) 20:15, 5 December 2010 (UTC)
 * "According to Nielsen ratings, it was viewed in 9.66 million homes" let's say households instead; a bit more encyclopedic, that and i see that on most other episode GAs.
 * Done. Gage (talk) 20:15, 5 December 2010 (UTC)
 * Peter and Meg don't need to be re-linked in the plot, and we can delink the drunken clam.
 * Done. Gage (talk) 20:15, 5 December 2010 (UTC)
 * "Peter, and friends, go to the rink, and continue to enjoy themselves" commas not needed, and it could just start with They.
 * Done. Gage (talk) 20:15, 5 December 2010 (UTC)
 * "but forget to collect Meg" I'd prefer a better word, collect sounds odd.
 * Done. Gage (talk) 20:15, 5 December 2010 (UTC)
 * "Peter is tricked into buying it" italics for tricks unnecessary
 * Done. Gage (talk) 20:15, 5 December 2010 (UTC)
 * I don't really remember Peter actually teaching Meg to drive the tank. I remember the heat wave though, which probably merits a mention.
 * Done. Gage (talk) 20:15, 5 December 2010 (UTC)
 * "the two accidentally run over their police officer neighbor, Joe," it can just say they run over Joe.
 * Done. Gage (talk) 20:15, 5 December 2010 (UTC)
 * "Brewery, because" no comma
 * Done. Gage (talk) 20:15, 5 December 2010 (UTC)
 * "demolish it and Penisburg" penisburg doesn't need the second mention.
 * Done. Gage (talk) 20:15, 5 December 2010 (UTC)
 * "Much of the music" Most of
 * Done. Gage (talk) 20:15, 5 December 2010 (UTC)
 * "Another scene, involving a man driving in a Hummer, while watching the 2005 film Madagascar in his car, who exclaims "Dude, those animals are so fucking funny," was mistakenly broadcast uncensored in Canada, though this problem was corrected for future broadcasts." I don't know why but this sentence feels run-on-ish. Maybe tweak to say "another scene involved..." and modify the article from that; should sound better.
 * Done. Gage (talk) 20:15, 5 December 2010 (UTC)
 * "The censors remained intact in the US, but many have been undone on TBS broadcasts" link TBS
 * Done. Gage (talk) 20:16, 5 December 2010 (UTC)
 * "of the 1988 cult film," the 1988 in film link isn't needed, plus remove comma. Same issue with 1984 in film twice later on.
 * Done. Gage (talk) 20:15, 5 December 2010 (UTC)
 * "As they do, the 1976 single "A Fifth of Beethoven" by Walter Murphy and the Big Apple Band is played, this and the choreographed skating routine performed was a reference" Period instead of comma after played. that and the two homages in those sentences are uncited.
 * Done. Gage (talk) 20:15, 5 December 2010 (UTC)
 * "Returning home, without Meg," let's try 'After returning home without Meg, ..'
 * Done. Gage (talk) 20:15, 5 December 2010 (UTC)
 * "Meg suddenly enters her home, and begs her parents to get her her own vehicle." reword; having the same word twice in a row can be iffy.
 * Done. Gage (talk) 20:15, 5 December 2010 (UTC)
 * "Finally deciding to give in, and purchase" no comma
 * Done. Gage (talk) 20:15, 5 December 2010 (UTC)
 * "and proceeds to destroy two vehicles in the process, while" and "he tells her to feed the deformed man Sloth, from" same
 * Done. Gage (talk) 20:15, 5 December 2010 (UTC)
 * "in both rating and total viewership." ratings
 * Done. Gage (talk) 20:15, 5 December 2010 (UTC)

I'll put the article on hold for five days, and will either pass or fail it depending on whether concerns are addressed. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 04:31, 4 December 2010 (UTC)
 * It took some doing, but after reading through the article again I think it's finally GA quality, so I'll pass it. Wizardman  Operation Big Bear 03:25, 8 December 2010 (UTC)