Talk:Helmsley Building/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Vami IV (talk · contribs) 01:25, 28 August 2020 (UTC)

Opening statement
Hello, and come what may from this review, thank you for your contributions to Wikipedia. During the review, I may make copyedits, which I will limit to spelling correction and minor changes to punctuation (removal of double spaces and such). I will only make substantive edits that change the flow and structure of the prose if I previously suggested and it is necessary. The Nominator(s) should understand that I am a grammar pedant, and I will nitpick in the interest of prose quality. For responding to my comments, please use ✅,, , ❌, , or , followed by any comment you'd like to make. I will be crossing out my comments as they are redressed, and only mine. A detailed, section-by-section review will follow. – ♠Vami _IV†♠  01:25, 28 August 2020 (UTC)

Site

 * Should include the address here, as it is in the infobox.
 * The Helmsley Building measures 200 feet (61 m) north-south and 344 feet (105 m) west-east. This is frontage, yes?
 * Yes, this is frontage. epicgenius (talk) 15:12, 28 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Yes, this is frontage. epicgenius (talk) 15:12, 28 August 2020 (UTC)

Design

 * The Helmsley Building was designed by Warren & Wetmore. When?
 * This is more of a passive verb, rather than something that happened at a point in time. Warren & Wetmore were the architects but there's no specific time given for when they designed it. epicgenius (talk) 15:12, 28 August 2020 (UTC)
 * There is a clock at the top of the base. The clock has a diameter of 9 feet (2.7 m), and is located 64 feet (20 m) above the ground. Combine and condense.
 * winged wheels representing advancement, wheels of progress, How are these distinct from each other?
 * The wheels of progress weren't winged wheels. I moved it around. epicgenius (talk) 15:12, 28 August 2020 (UTC)
 * The top of the Helmsley Building is a pyramid and capped by an ornate cupola. Delete the "and" here.
 * All of "Features" except "Lobby" - and "Forms" for that matter, could very easily fit into the main "Design" section. They would be very relevant there.
 * I left the "structural features" section as is, since it was quite long. epicgenius (talk) 15:12, 28 August 2020 (UTC)
 * All of "Features" except "Lobby" - and "Forms" for that matter, could very easily fit into the main "Design" section. They would be very relevant there.
 * I left the "structural features" section as is, since it was quite long. epicgenius (talk) 15:12, 28 August 2020 (UTC)

History

 * [...] but also a great civic centre. Did the New York Times really use "centre"?
 * Yes, it did. epicgenius (talk) 15:12, 28 August 2020 (UTC)
 * The final plan for the New York Central Building above Park Avenue were not completed [...] was not completed.
 * [...] foundational piers [...] Is there a link that can be added here?
 * Irving Brodsky of the New York Bank for Savings assumed a 50-year leasehold and renamed it the New York General Building. When did Brodsky do this?
 * It was in 1958. epicgenius (talk) 15:12, 28 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Light shafts and TV screens were also installed, and bronze storefronts were installed. Two uses of "installed".
 * During the practice, What practice?
 * Light shafts and TV screens were also installed, and bronze storefronts were installed. Two uses of "installed".
 * During the practice, What practice?
 * During the practice, What practice?

GA progress
Article passes CopyVio with a 35.1% likelihood of violation. – ♠Vami _IV†♠  01:25, 28 August 2020 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review. I've addressed all of these comments. epicgenius (talk) 15:12, 28 August 2020 (UTC)