Talk:Henry Ludington/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Eddie891 (talk · contribs) 13:26, 1 October 2020 (UTC)

Hi, I will review this shortly. Eddie891 Talk Work 13:26, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
 * Comments
 * Hi two things right of the bat that I'd like resolved before conducting a full review. Best, Eddie891 Talk Work 13:53, 3 October 2020 (UTC)
 * See WP:NOTGENEALOGY (particularly #2, Wikipedia articles are not Genealogical entries. Family histories should be presented only where appropriate to support the reader's understanding of a notable topic., what's the justification for that extensive family tree?
 * -Reply - My reasoning on that was that I have created several articles related to the Ludington family and I wanted to show his relationship to other members of the family. The last person (grandson) on the lower right is on James Ludington, an important person in the history of Michigan. Across from him is another grandson Harrison Ludington, a governor of Wisconsin. The father of James is Lewis Ludington, the founder of Columbus, Wisconsin.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:32, 3 October 2020 (UTC)
 * Sure, individually notable people are fine to mention his relation to, but it looks like you can and do describe them further below. I think a link to Ludington family, where an extensive family tree is shown, should suffice. Eddie891 Talk Work 19:07, 4 October 2020 (UTC)


 * Lulu and Xlibris are both self-publishing organisations, and neither reliable nor reputable publishers
 * Reply - Didn't realize they were not reputable publishers. I certainly can take those out and find another source for those references then.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:32, 3 October 2020 (UTC)
 * Addressed the above issues, Can you take another look. Thanks.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:35, 4 October 2020 (UTC)


 * Comments
 * " He founded Ludingtonville" date?
 * ✅ I already have in the narrative The grist mill that Ludington built around 1775... Will that work? --Doug Coldwell (talk) 10:57, 6 October 2020 (UTC)


 * "He was a citizen of Patterson, New York, and was involved with its growth." maybe "he lived in Patterson for/over/during [TIME], and was involved in its growth."
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 17:03, 6 October 2020 (UTC)


 * "providing spies for espionage" are spies 'provided' for anything other than espionage?
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 17:03, 6 October 2020 (UTC)


 * I rephrased a sentence to "Sybil Ludington, his daughter, helped the cause for independence by undertaking a nighttime horseback ride similar to Paul Revere's to alert colonial militia to the approach of British forces" can you check you are OK with that phrasing?
 * ✅ Your light ce looks good. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 17:03, 6 October 2020 (UTC)


 * Similarly re-wrote one to "Other members of the Ludington family became prominent in states including Wisconsin and Michigan. Some became leaders while others were involved in developing towns."
 * ✅ Looks good. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 17:03, 6 October 2020 (UTC)


 * "Their places of birth in England are unknown." unneeded, imho
 * Done}} Removed. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 17:03, 6 October 2020 (UTC)


 * "The sixth child of William, founder of the American Ludingtons" I thought that WIll senior established the family?
 * ✅ - Yup! Copyedited to make it clearer.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 17:03, 6 October 2020 (UTC)


 * "his uncles were patriots and fought in one way or another for American independence" I don't think this fits very well here, suggest either cutting or moving.
 * ✅ - moved. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 17:37, 6 October 2020 (UTC)


 * "typical to that of schooling in colonial towns of the 18th century" strikes me as somewhat clunky, can you perhaps rephrase?
 * ✅ - copy edited. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 18:02, 6 October 2020 (UTC)


 * "but thought in terms of action instead. Ludington decided to discover the world " seems a bit like editorializing. Is there any substance here? what does 'thought in terms of action' mean? how did he 'discover the world'
 * ✅ copy edited accordingly, that leads into the next paragraph of his life history. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 18:08, 6 October 2020 (UTC)


 * "a company of sixty wounded soldiers" so the whole company was wounded soldiers?
 * ✅ Yup = his particular 60 soldiers he was in charge of. Paragraph goes on to say Ludington got his disabled comrades home safely. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 18:19, 6 October 2020 (UTC)


 * "in the infamous winter of 1759–60" is not very well known + "Even though there were many hardships " can you elaborate, specify?
 * ✅ Copy edited accordingly. Johnson source says,  a little later was entrusted with the charge of a company of sixty wounded or invalid soldiers who were to return to New England The march was made across country from Quebec to Boston in the dead of the very severe winter of 1759-60 and the labors and perils of the journey were sufficient to tax to the utmost the skill and resourcefulness of the youth of only twenty years. For many nights their camp consisted of caves or burrows in the snowdrifts where they slept on beds of spruce boughs wrapped in their blankets. Provisions failed too. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 18:52, 6 October 2020 (UTC)


 * "passage of the Duties in American Colonies Stamp Act" date?
 * ✅ 1765 --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:00, 6 October 2020 (UTC)


 * You never clearly state which side he fought on in the ARW
 * ✅ copy edited accordingly. Ludington then was the American commander of the 7th regiment (infantry) of "Dutchess County" in New York in the Battle of Ridgefield in April 1777 --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:29, 6 October 2020 (UTC)


 * References should be in numerical order
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:50, 6 October 2020 (UTC)


 * "conceived the idea of gathering patriots in a secret service of espionage to gather information on British troops and their activities so he could gain an advantage in his military movements." I think you could rephrase this to make it clearer
 * ✅ - copy edited accordingly. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:14, 6 October 2020 (UTC)


 * "hat was important to Washington for his troops" how so?
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:44, 6 October 2020 (UTC)


 * "in the correct hands." the 'correct' hands being?
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:44, 6 October 2020 (UTC)


 * "providing shelter and necessary provisions" to Crosby or he helped crosby provide these things to others?
 * ✅ Copyedited accordingly. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:44, 6 October 2020 (UTC)


 * "vital to Washington" how so?
 * ✅ Copyedited accordingly.


 * "Ludington was much involved in the community of Patterson, New York. " when?
 * ✅ During the struggle for American independence.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:59, 6 October 2020 (UTC)


 * I've tagged a citation needed
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:09, 6 October 2020 (UTC)


 * "Reminisce about their days as spies " a little editorially, imo. Can you rephrase, mainly to change up 'reminisce', or quote someone?
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:21, 6 October 2020 (UTC)


 * "His Patterson grave" as opposed to another grave?
 * ✅ copy edited. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:21, 6 October 2020 (UTC)


 * "so simple that it didn't do justice for the patriot that helped develop the American government" wanting of a quote
 * ✅ copy edited. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:21, 6 October 2020 (UTC)


 * "is now on file in the surrogate's office of Putnam County" needed?
 * ✅ copy edited. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:21, 6 October 2020 (UTC)


 * "was known as" is known as?
 * ✅ copy edited. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:21, 6 October 2020 (UTC)


 * As always, suggestions. Please check to see that my copyediting is agreeable to you. More comments to come later. Best, Eddie891 Talk Work 23:44, 5 October 2020 (UTC)
 * All issues have been addressed. Can you take another look. Thanks. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:21, 6 October 2020 (UTC)


 * Misc
 * http://ludingtonsride.com/history.htm is a dead url. What makes it reliable?
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 08:24, 7 October 2020 (UTC)


 * Where is the sourcing for circa 1776 on the image? It says 1800 on the file details. Otherwise images look good
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 08:24, 7 October 2020 (UTC)


 * There is no mention of "Historian Louis S. Patrick " in Johnson 1907
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 08:24, 7 October 2020 (UTC) Johnson book pages


 * ditto for "William J. Blake"
 * ✅ Johnson page 209 and Blake's history book The History of Putnam County, NY


 * other sourcing lines up on a spot-check


 * All 'sources' would benefit from publication information being filled out, namely the addition of ISBNs or OCLCs where that is not possible, but I won't require it


 * I'd like to see mention of "seven years war" in the article body

That's just about it. Best, Eddie891 Talk Work 23:27, 6 October 2020 (UTC)
 * All additional issues have been addressed. Can you take another look. Thanks. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 09:12, 7 October 2020 (UTC)
 * Sorry, all of a sudden I'm swamped with real life work and in no place to work on a review. I'll get to it tomorrow-- Sorry! Eddie891 Talk Work 22:27, 8 October 2020 (UTC)


 * Cool, everything looks good. passing Eddie891 Talk Work 20:11, 9 October 2020 (UTC)