Talk:Herbert Armitage James

{{collapse top|text=Good Article nomination

Good article nomination
I've posted my review of the article here. Noble Story (talk) 11:35, 22 March 2008 (UTC)
 * As this review (which has taken nearly six weeks to come through!) comes just before I go on a fortnight's holiday, I am unlikely to be able to respond within 7 days. Please wait for my attempts to address your concerns, which I'll attend to when I'm back. In the meantime, I would point out that I have deliberately not gone "Sentence (ref 1). Sentence (ref 1). Sentence (ref 1)" and have instead gone "Sentence. Sentence. Sentence. (ref 1)".  The information in the article is all sourced. Does it really need multiple reference to the same sources, sentence after sentence? BencherliteTalk 09:26, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
 * No problem, I'll just keep this on hold until you can answer. About the references: I would say what I recommended was my personal preference. However, if you wish to keep it the way you have it already, then I will not fail the article because of it. Noble Story (talk) 09:38, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
 * I have referenced every sentence mentioned below to avoid future problems, although I think it's extreme. Further comments below.  BencherliteTalk 23:18, 6 April 2008 (UTC)

Lead
As per WP:LEAD, it could probably expanded a little. It's a bit too concise, and it should probably be at least two paragraphs.

Early life and education
"He was educated at Abergavenny Grammar School, and then went to two Oxford colleges."

You shouldn't use "he" here, as it could refer either to the article's subject or his father. The statement could use a reference.

"He matriculated at Jesus College in 1863, before winning a scholarship and moving along Turl Street to Lincoln College in 1864."

Reference needed.

"He also captained the Lincoln College cricket XI."

Reference needed. The sentence is also a bit short, so you should probably combine it with another sentence.
 * ✅ moved to later in the article

"He was appointed a Fellow of St John's College in 1869 and was President of the Oxford Union Society in 1871 (where he nominated Herbert Asquith to the Standing Committee)."

Reference.

Teaching career
"He was Assistant Master at Marlborough College from 1872–75 before being appointed Headmaster of Rossall School in 1875."

Reference.

"His students at Rossall including Henry Stuart-Jones, who became a distinguished classical scholar."

You should use past tense in this sentence.
 * ✅ (should have been "included")

"The strain of his position at Rossall School having affected his health, he was appointed Dean of St Asaph in 1886. In 1889, his health restored, he left St Asaph to become Principal of Cheltenham College (1889–95)."

Reference.

"He made participation in games a compulsory part of the boys' education in 1889."

The sentence is too terse. Try combining it with the next sentence.
 * I disagree, and see no particular reason to mix the two different topics.

St John's College
"He returned to Oxford in 1909 as President of St John's College (having been made an honorary fellow in 1895) and held this position until his death in 1931."

Reference.



"He was made a Companion of Honour in the Birthday Honours List of 1926. On 15 October 1926, a dinner was held in his honour to celebrate the award, with Viscount Cave (who was Lord Chancellor and also Chancellor of Oxford University) presiding. Over 200 friends and former students attended."

This first and last sentences are too short. You could probably combine the three sentences into two.


 * ✅ I have combined the second and third two sentences, and added some (unnecessary?) words to the first sentence.

Works and interests
"He was a keen cricketer and golfer."

This sentence is too short.


 * ✅, expanded with the earlier note about his being Lincoln College cricket captain.

"James died at St John's College at the age of 87. He was unmarried."

These two sentences are too short.


 * ✅ The first sentence has been expanded by adding the date of death for a third time, as I was at a loss how else to expand a perfectly decent sentence. The "unmarried" sentence has been combined elsewhere.  Incidentally, the sentence "He was unmarried" is only slightly shorter than The Times's obituary's concluding sentence ("Dr. James was unmarried"), The Times not being noted for poor literary style (well, not in the 1930s, anyway...)

"In his will, he left £2,000 to the Church in Wales and £200 to the Rector of St Mary's Church, Panteg to maintain the graves of his parents and for church work in the parish."

There should be a comma after "Panteg".



"James was presented with a gold watch and chain when leaving Rossall School."

The sentence is too short.


 * ✅ superfluous words added.

"A memorial was erected in 1933 in the chapel of Rossall School. A oak chancel screen was also erected as a memorial to James in St Mary's Church, Panteg."

These two sentences are too short.



General
The article is generally OK, but in several places the prose is choppy and terse. It also seems to be a little too concise. I think a little expansion, maybe more detail, would be appropriate.


 * I hope that my expansions meet with your approval. As you might have gathered, I did not always agree that the sentences were too short, but have only stuck with the old version on one occasion! BencherliteTalk 23:18, 6 April 2008 (UTC)

Final GA Review
Review of Herbert Armitage James


 * 1) Is it reasonably well written?
 * A. Prose quality:
 * B. MoS compliance:
 * 1) Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
 * A. References to sources:
 * B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
 * C. No original research:
 * 1) Is it broad in its coverage?
 * A. Major aspects:
 * B. Focused:
 * 1) Is it neutral?
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * Pass or Fail:

After making the changes suggested in my previous review, I think this article is now a Good Article. Congratulations. Noble Story (talk) 02:10, 7 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Thanks! BencherliteTalk 02:14, 7 April 2008 (UTC)

Common name
Was this fellow actually called "Herbert Armitage James"? Or was he "Herbert James"? Or, as this suggests, in fact "Armitage James" (forename surname)? In which case, should the article not be at Armitage James? DBD 12:43, 16 September 2011 (UTC)