Talk:Hereditary coproporphyria/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: MacMed (talk · contribs) 16:01, 18 June 2012 (UTC)

Hi, I'm MacMed and I'll be doing this GA review. I'll work on it throughout the course of the day and leave comments here as I progress. Regards, MacMedtalk stalk 16:01, 18 June 2012 (UTC)

Initial Readthrough

 * There are no technical issues with the article (deadlinks, etc)
 * Second sentence of the lead needs a bit of a reword; "although homozygous exist" sounds kind of awkward and strange
 * The last sentence of the lead also needs a reword, it reads awkwardly and sounds disjointed
 * I made a few slight changes for readability in the "Signs and Symptoms" section
 * First sentence of the "Genetics" section is a bit long, maybe split it into two (one explaining what CPOX codes for and one explaining what the enzyme does)
 * Second sentence of "Diagnosis" reads strangely, please reword (ie replace "symptoms suspicious of" with "symptoms associated with"). The opening of the sentence also reads awkwardly
 * In "Treatment"
 * Make sure your spelling of hemin/haemin is consistent within the article and with the most common version used by the medical community
 * Find a reference for the fact that hemin is the recommended therapy for acute attacks of HCP

Overall, pretty well written with only a few minor issues. Fix these up and I will continue to work through the remainder of the review. Regards, MacMedtalk stalk 16:39, 18 June 2012 (UTC) I think I have addressed all of those issues. I am still on the lookout for a good, free acute porphyria picture. I thought I had one, but the journal was open-access, but still under copyright. I went with "hemin", as that is what the majority of my references used, although they seem to have a North American / European split to it. Thanks for the review, and please let me know if there is anything else that I can do. Canada Hky (talk) 00:36, 19 June 2012 (UTC)
 * Please try and find an image displaying an affected individual, so that the article displays some idea of what an active case of HCP looks like. Having the metabolite is good, but it isn't eyecatching or informative to anyone without a biochemical background. Maybe the an image of the lesions you mention in "Signs and Symptoms"
 * Given that you do have an image in the article, and that you fixed all the other issues, I'm going to pass this article. Congrats! Now just promise me that you'll keep trying to find an image ;) Regards, MacMedtalk stalk 02:03, 19 June 2012 (UTC)

Copyright Check
No plagiarism or close paraphrasing that I could see, and all sources are reliable. Assuming good faith on the textbooks and other print material I do not have access to. Only referencing issue is the hemin thing I mentioned above. Regards, MacMedtalk stalk 16:46, 18 June 2012 (UTC)

Checklist
GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria


 * 1) Is it reasonably well written?
 * A. Prose quality:
 * Fix the issues listed above
 * B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
 * 1) Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
 * A. References to sources:
 * B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
 * Find the ref I asked for above
 * C. No original research:
 * 1) Is it broad in its coverage?
 * A. Major aspects:
 * B. Focused:
 * 1) Is it neutral?
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
 * As above, please try to find an image displaying an HCP attack
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
 * As above, please try to find an image displaying an HCP attack
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:

Pictures
Some pictures of the typical rash would be nice. Doc James (talk · contribs · email) 04:37, 20 June 2012 (UTC)