Talk:Highland and Island Emigration Society/GA2

GA Review
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Reviewer: Mike Christie (talk · contribs) 05:14, 15 February 2018 (UTC)

I'll review this. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 05:14, 15 February 2018 (UTC)

Additional comments by Lingzhi
To check as many errors as possible in the references and/or notes, I recommend using User:Lingzhi/reviewsourcecheck in conjunction with two other scripts. You can install them as follows: When you've added all those, go to an article to check for various messages in its notes and references. (You may need to clear your browser's cache first). The output of User:Lingzhi/reviewsourcecheck is not foolproof and can be verbose. Use common sense when interpreting output (especially with respect to sorting errors). Reading the explanatory page will help more than a little. The least urgent message of all is probably Missing archive link;. Archiving weblinks is good practice but lack of archiving will probably not be mentioned in any content review. Lingzhi ♦ (talk) 03:02, 16 February 2018 (UTC)
 * First, copy/paste  to Special:MyPage/common.js.
 * On the same page and below that script add . Save that page.
 * Finally go to to Special:MyPage/common.css and add.

Review by Mike Christie
I'll copyedit as I go; please revert if I make a mess of anything. -- Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 13:48, 17 February 2018 (UTC)
 * The lead is too short for the length of the article.
 * There are some harv errors in the bibliography: there are no citations pointing to the Colonial Land and Emigration Commission, MacLeod, Morley, or Prentis (2008).
 * He became convinced that emigration was the only solution and eventually joined the London Committee of the Highland and Island Emigration Society: this reads a little oddly, given that this is the first mention of the Society in the body -- we haven't described its founding yet. Can we make it something like "He became convinced that emigration was the only solution, and joined the London Committee of the Highland and Island Emigration Society when it was founded three years later"?  That wording implies he joined it in 1852, which may not be the case.  Any wording to make it clear to the reader that the society hadn't been formed in 1849 would do.
 * Suggest redlinking Board of Supervision; it's redlinked from Poor Law (Scotland) Act 1845 which implies there will eventually be an article.
 * MacMillan attributes the success of the Society primarily to this powerful trio: can we say who MacMillan is inline? "Historian David MacMillan attributes..." or something like that.  The same comment applies to Richards and Prebble in the next section.
 * Can we get quotes around the list of rules, or have some other method of visually indicating that this is a direct quote?
 * There's an uncited sentence at the start of the "Popular support for the emigration plan" section, and another at the end of that section.
 * Prince Albert (105): should this be "Prince Albert (£105)"?
 * There are quite a lot of direct quotes; some are usefully illustrative, but I think some would be better paraphrased. For example, in the criticism section, both Kent's and MacMillan's quotes don't seem important to let stand as they are.  The quote from Trevelyan embedded in MacMillan's quote does seem worth keeping, though.  The quote about "trifling sickness" surely doesn't deserve a blockquote of its own, and could be reworded harmlessly.  In the "End of the Society" section I think we could rephrase MacMillan's quote.  And does the quote from Hellier (who also needs an introduction if we keep the quote) really add anything?  It's a summary, but we can summarize in our own words and cite Hellier.


 * Many thanks for these thoughtful comments - I will get on to them. Camerojo (talk) 21:22, 17 February 2018 (UTC)
 * , are you still planning to work on this nomination? I will fail this in a week if I don't hear from you.  If you need more time, just let me know. Mike Christie (talk - contribs -  library) 23:34, 24 February 2018 (UTC)
 * Failing as there has been no response. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 12:56, 3 March 2018 (UTC)
 * Sorry that I did not respond. I simply haven't had time to do any more on this Camerojo (talk) 23:43, 5 August 2018 (UTC)
 * no problem; things get busy and I completely understand. If you do come back to this, feel free to ping me and I'll take another look if I have time. Mike Christie (talk - contribs -  library) 22:30, 7 August 2018 (UTC)