Talk:Himeji Castle/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Wizardman  Operation Big Bear 22:16, 25 August 2010 (UTC)

I will do a full review of this soon. On a surface read, I see that the cultural impact section is mainly bullet points. I would rather this section be made into prose. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 22:16, 25 August 2010 (UTC)

I'm going to split the review into sections, not because it's long, but because I'm not sure how my schedule will be the next week or so.

Lead

 * "...that is regarded as the finest surviving example of 17th century Japanese castle architecture." This part can be split into its own sentence.
 * "In 1600, Tokugawa Ieyasu awarded the castle to Ikeda Terumasa for his help in the Battle of Sekigahara[2]" looks like a period's missing.
 * I removed a couple refs for things that were referenced later on, as it doesn't need to be reffed in the lead. There are others I'm not sure of but I'll let you think them over.
 * Fixed the first two errors you listed. ROG5728 (talk) 04:32, 29 August 2010 (UTC)

History

 * I fixed some typos, but no other issues here. Wizardman  Operation Big Bear 03:52, 31 August 2010 (UTC)

Design

 * Two paragraphs in a row start with "The Himeji Castle complex". Perhaps move the east-west note to the start of the 3rd paragraph to mix it up a bit.
 * Fixed. ROG5728 (talk) 05:09, 1 September 2010 (UTC)
 * "The Himeji Castle complex, from east to west, has a length of 950 to 1,600 m (3,117 to 5,249 ft).[4] From north to south, it has a length of 900 to 1,700 m (2,953 to 5,577 ft)." imo the sentences could be combined.
 * Fixed. ROG5728 (talk) 05:09, 1 September 2010 (UTC)
 * If a whole paragraph uses the same ref, it can be limited to a ref at the end of the paragrapg, except for quotes.
 * I prefer to cite the same reference anyway, to make sure someone doesn't mistakenly assume the text is unsourced. This has been an issue at other articles where the source is only cited once in the paragraph. ROG5728 (talk) 05:09, 1 September 2010 (UTC)
 * "1956 to 1964" we can just use an ndash here.
 * Fixed. ROG5728 (talk) 05:09, 1 September 2010 (UTC)
 * "Himeji Castle contains advanced defensive systems from the period." Which period? Advanced for the original period of creation sure, but maybe that's not what you meant.
 * Fixed. ROG5728 (talk) 05:09, 1 September 2010 (UTC)

Cultural impact

 * Good, though I'd like to see the film section converted to prose if possible.
 * I converted the Folklore subsection into prose, but at this point the Film section would be too choppy without bullet points. ROG5728 (talk) 05:11, 1 September 2010 (UTC)

Misc

 * References check out okay, however for book sources, individual page numbers need to be used for each ref. That or, if only a small section of the book is used, those pages are noted. Wizardman  Operation Big Bear
 * I don't have immediate access to some of the book sources at the moment, but a lack of page numbers should not be an issue per Good article criteria. ROG5728 (talk) 05:21, 1 September 2010 (UTC)
 * I would prefer that page numbers are added unless you're just using the book as a whole. If the latter, than an overall page count for the book should be in at least. Wizardman  Operation Big Bear 15:00, 1 September 2010 (UTC)
 * I've added in the pages of the books themselves. That being said, the two 400 pages one at least do need to be modified to what I said earlier; having the individual page numbers as a source. If you really don't think it's necessary you can ask at WT:GAN, but I'm going to have to hold my ground; I can of course wait until you reacquire the sources, I won't fail it. Wizardman  Operation Big Bear 19:54, 2 September 2010 (UTC)
 * I added specific page numbers for the two large book sources. ROG5728 (talk) 20:49, 2 September 2010 (UTC)

The review is done; I'll put the article on hold for 5 days and pass it when the issues are fixed. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 04:46, 1 September 2010 (UTC)
 * Everything looks good now, so I'll pass the article as a GA. Wizardman  Operation Big Bear 04:48, 4 September 2010 (UTC)