Talk:History of Burger King/GA3

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: MrWooHoo (talk · contribs) 15:14, 1 November 2014 (UTC)

Hello! I will be excited to be reviewing this article. I will use a format with a main review then a source and/or prose review (s) at the end. (For example: my most recent review)

Comments

 * I've taken a look at the 1st review and the 2nd. I will be using them to make sure you followed their tips/comments. (See Talk:Communist_Party_of_China/GA1, except it was a peer review)


 * How about trying to using this kind of table for the time line of this article? Would it be appropriate? Brandon (MrWooHoo) • Talk to Brandon!  00:02, 6 November 2014 (UTC)
 * That is a cool format, but because of the linear nature of the time line plus its simplicity I think that would be overkill. --Jeremy (blah blah • I did it!) 09:15, 10 November 2014 (UTC)

Prose Review
Note: If you have changed the sentence that needed to be corrected, press Enter and start off the line with, then use ✅ or ✅ If the change was only partially done use, and or ❌ if the change could not occur. (If you would explain why, I would be greatly appreciated :P) To see code, go to edit source and copy the code.


 * Lead
 * "The two initiated a corporate restructuring of the chain; the first step was to rename the company Burger King."
 * How about saying, "...a corporate restructuring of the chain; the first step being to rename the company Burger King."
 * ✅ - reasonable change --Jeremy (blah blah • I did it!) 06:51, 10 November 2014 (UTC)


 * History Section
 * "It proved successful that, as they grew through franchising, they required all of their franchises to carry the device."
 * How about saying, "It proved so successful that, as they grew..."
 * ✅ - I missed that typo, TYVM! --Jeremy (blah blah • I did it!) 06:53, 10 November 2014 (UTC)


 * "By 1959 the pair had stores..."
 * Add a comma after 1959.
 * ✅ - Another missed typo, thank you. --Jeremy (blah blah • I did it!) 06:55, 10 November 2014 (UTC)


 * (In 3G Capital subsection) "The proposed sale is expected to help the company repair its fundamental business structures and continue working to close the gap with McDonald's."
 * Change is to was in the first sentence.
 * ✅ --Jeremy (blah blah • I did it!) 06:56, 10 November 2014 (UTC)


 * "Seven of the top executives were released while another 261 employees..."
 * Add a comma after while.
 * - That comma would go before "while." --Jeremy (blah blah • I did it!) 06:59, 10 November 2014 (UTC)


 * Timeline section


 * 1953: Insta-Burger King is founded in Jacksonville, FL By Kieth Kramer and Matthew Burns.
 * Add comma after FL, and make the by lowercase.
 * ✅ --Jeremy (blah blah • I did it!) 07:01, 10 November 2014 (UTC)


 * The deal between TPG and diageo nearly fails, but eventually goes through at US$1.6 billion (bn).
 * Capitalize Diageo.
 * ✅ --Jeremy (blah blah • I did it!) 07:02, 10 November 2014 (UTC)

See comment in Comments section about this section.

Source Review

 * According to dablinks, references 33, 34, and 43 are all dead, and reference 50 redirects for someone to "sign up." Can you fix these please? Brandon (MrWooHoo) • Talk to Brandon!  01:24, 10 November 2014 (UTC)
 * - ✅ - I removed the broken link as I cannot find an archive on Highbeam or other source. --<span style="font-family:lucida sans, sans-serif;">Jeremy <small style="font-size:85%;">(blah blah • I did it!) 07:10, 10 November 2014 (UTC)
 * - ✅ - I corrected the broken link. --<span style="font-family:lucida sans, sans-serif;">Jeremy <small style="font-size:85%;">(blah blah • I did it!) 08:07, 10 November 2014 (UTC)
 * - ✅ - The link is correct, I followed it to the article. Was it another link maybe? I found out, the link in article is differently numbered in the dab links page. --<span style="font-family:lucida sans, sans-serif;">Jeremy <small style="font-size:85%;">(blah blah • I did it!) 08:12, 10 November 2014 (UTC)
 * -✅ - I corrected the broken link. --<span style="font-family:lucida sans, sans-serif;">Jeremy <small style="font-size:85%;">(blah blah • I did it!) 09:01, 10 November 2014 (UTC)
 * I went through the broken links and fixed all of them. --<span style="font-family:lucida sans, sans-serif;">Jeremy <small style="font-size:85%;">(blah blah • I did it!) 09:01, 10 November 2014 (UTC)