Talk:History of Trumbull, Connecticut/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Malleus Fatuorum 13:17, 7 July 2010 (UTC)

This article still needs a lot of work, I think, but nothing that couldn't be done within the hold period. I've chosen a few representative sections and made some comments below, but the whole article has similar problems. If these issues are dealt with satisfactorily, then I'll make similarly detailed comments about the remainder of the article.


 * Lead
 * The lead is just one short phrase, repeating the title of the article. It needs to tell the reader what Trumbull is and to summarise the main points of the article in three or four paragraphs.


 * Origins to Stratford
 * Shouldn't this be Origins of Stratford?


 * "The town of Trumbull was originally entirely a part of Stratford, settled in 1639 ...". What was settled in 1639, Trumbull or Stratford?


 * This section tells us nothing about the origins of Stratford, so why isn't it called Origins of Trumbull?


 * "The town of Trumbull was originally entirely a part of Stratford ...". Fine, but what is Stratford? A town? A county? Something else?


 * "Hence, all of Trumbull's history during that time, whether small or great, was connected to Stratford ...". This doesn't really make sense on at least two levels: Trumbull didn't exist at that time, so it didn't have any history separate from Stratford's; secondly, how can you have "small or great" history?


 * "The village of Unity, later called North Stratford, continued for seventy two years before the privileges of a town were granted in 1797." What are these "privileges" of a town? Should this be "status of a town"? Presumably this new town was then named Trumbull?


 * "These things, with others, make the task of securing a complete history of Trumbull more arduous but not less interesting." For whom? For you? This reads like a personal essay or reminiscence instead of an encyclopedia article.


 * Indian deeds
 * The way the images are laid out causes the end of the first sentence to be illegible, as it's overwritten by two "edit" buttons. If the images are to be kept, then they need to be distributed throughout the text.


 * "... the displaced Golden Hill Paugussett Indian Nation began to ask for compensation for the land which lay north of an east and west line ...". How can a line be east and west? Should this be east–west? We need to know more about the Indians. Did they occupy the land on which present-day Trumbull is sited? What were relations like between the early settlers and the Indians?


 * "The original proprietors agreed and began to make several purchases from the Indians by way of deeds of transfer." Who are these mysterious "original proprietors"?


 * "Lt. Joseph Judson, Captain Joseph Hawley and John Minor did not secure the written deeds of transfer from the Golden Hill Paugussett Indian Nation for the territory until April 1662." Who are these people?


 * Lauzun's Legion
 * Less than half of this section appears to be about Lauzun's Legion; most of it appears to be about an entirely different group of French soldiers.


 * "The widow of Tory Chauncey Beardsley, Huldah took pleasure in talking of the exciting times of the Revolution and related during her lifetime about the time that two companies of French soldiers ...". This reads like an essay rather than an encyclopedic account. In what way is it relevant whether this lady took pleasure in relating her tale or not?


 * A Great Jubilee Day Monday May 26 1783
 * "On Memorial Day, the town hosts a large parade down Main Street to the Town Hall as well as a Trumbull Day which is held each year to celebrate the Fourth of July and includes fireworks; Trumbull Day began in 1972 to celebrate the towns 175th anniversary." What has this to do with the Great Jubilee Day of 1783?


 * Trumbull incorporates 1797
 * Incorporates 1797 into what?


 * The population increased dramatically between 1950 and 1960. Why was that?


 * What is the source for the population data?


 * White Plains Road 1705
 * "Thomas Lake purchased division land located on the eastern side of the natural grassy flood plains of the Pequonnock River near The Falls in February 1694. At the same time, White Plains Road was laid out past Lake's house north to Pulpit Rock in 1705 ...". The land purchase took place in 1694, but the road wasn't built until 1705, therefore clearly it wasn't "at the same time".


 * Public education since 1716
 * Place names and people's names should not be in italics.

Comments
Note: By Citing sources, references should be outside of the period, with no spaces in between. Right now, all of the references are inside the period with spaces in between. — MC10 ( T • C • GB •L)  01:25, 8 July 2010 (UTC)


 * No, there is no such standard: "Editors are free to use any method; no method is preferred over another". I'm not fond of the present style, and like you I'd prefer to see the citations after the punctuation, but that's no part of either the GA or FA criteria. Malleus Fatuorum 01:53, 8 July 2010 (UTC)
 * It's a bit dull I think Monsieur le Duc LouisPhilippeCharles (talk) 23:58, 16 July 2010 (UTC)
 * P.S No offence lol


 * Which of the GA criteria address "dullness"? Malleus Fatuorum 00:55, 17 July 2010 (UTC)


 * I'm afraid that I'm not prepared to list this article as a GA, as I do not believe that it meets the GA criteria. Malleus Fatuorum 00:34, 21 July 2010 (UTC)