Talk:History of York City F.C. (1922–1980)

Fair use rationale for Image:YorkCity60s70s.JPG
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BetacommandBot (talk) 21:09, 26 November 2007 (UTC)

Copy editing
I'm having a go at copy editing today. I've downloaded the text to my word processor and I will put a revision back later on. Feel free to mess about with it more if you think I've got it wrong!!--Harkey Lodger 09:30, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
 * I've done as much as I can. This article needs peer review again now.--Harkey Lodger 12:25, 3 December 2007 (UTC)

GA review comments
Here you go... So, quite a lot to deal with. But knowing Matty, it won't be long before the comments are attended to so I'll put it on hold for now. Shout at me when you're ready for re-review or for clarification of the above. The Rambling Man 17:32, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
 * General
 * First, can you close the current PR, running that and a GA in parallel is a bit weird since comments from either need to be addressed. Let's focus on GA for now and then once you're there, put it up for PR again at WP:FOOTBALL for FA consideration.
 * ✅ PR closed. Mattythewhite 17:40, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
 * Lead
 * "... before folding..." - bit colloquial.
 * ✅ Reworded. Mattythewhite 17:40, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
 * "The current club..." - confused, the current club was formed in 1908 and went bust.
 * ✅ Reworded. Mattythewhite 17:40, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
 * "...only in the replay." - why "only"? Explain significance.
 * ✅ Removed. Mattythewhite 17:47, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
 * Is it possible to link play-off?
 * ✅ Link added. Mattythewhite 17:47, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
 * " York remains in this division. They made the play-offs in the 2006–07 season, but lost to Morecambe in the semi-final." - flow together.
 * ✅ Merged. Mattythewhite 17:47, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
 * Place image of KK Crescent at top of article.
 * ✅ Moved image. Mattythewhite 17:47, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 1908–17
 * "obtained a ground" - prefer acquired, but it's just my ".
 * ✅ Reworded. Mattythewhite 17:47, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
 * "The club turned professional in 1912 and joined the Midland League. The team played..." - the club, the team... reads awkwardly.
 * ✅ Reworded. Mattythewhite 17:47, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
 * "...forced into liquidation because it was bankrupt." - well it's kind of obvious that the reason they went into liquidation was due to bankruptcy but perhaps you could explain why they went bankrupt during the First World War. Why?
 * ✅ Explained. Mattythewhite 17:47, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 1922–38
 * "By the end of this season, the club made a loss of £718 and only £1,260 of the share capital was subscribed.[8] " is a bit out of context. First time you've really gone into detail about money and saying "only 1260 of..." has no context.
 * ✅ Removed. Seems unimportant really. Mattythewhite 21:57, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
 * "restored to size" - restored to its original size?
 * ✅ I'd think so. Mattythewhite 21:57, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
 * " out of 20.They reached the second round of the FA Cup, losing 2–1 to Grimsby Town.This was the first time York had passed the competition's qualifying rounds." - space needed after 20. and Town. and needs better flow.
 * ✅ Added space and rewritten. Mattythewhite 21:59, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
 * " first manager, Jock Collier who took the role of player-manager." - hmm, needs explanation about "first manager" and then reads weird when you say he was the player-manager.
 * ✅ Rewritten. Mattythewhite 22:06, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
 * "Collier's first season in charge proved to be the club's last in the Midland League because York won election to the Football League in June 1929. York took the place of Ashington in Division Three North.[16]" - flow together.... "...Midland League as York won election to Football League in June 1929, taking the place of Ashington in Division Three North." - for example.
 * ✅ Rewritten. Mattythewhite 22:06, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
 * "August 31, 1929.It finished" - space required. Check for all instances of this please.
 * ✅ Done, I think. Mattythewhite 22:10, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
 * "and do well in the FA Cup,[19]taking Sheffield United to a replay.[21]" - space needed after [19] and why was it doing well to take Sheff Utd to a replay? Tell the reader about the difference in divisions etc.
 * ✅ Added. Mattythewhite 22:15, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
 * " firmly placed on the football map," - is this a quote? If so, cite and place in quotes, if not, get rid of it as WP:OR.
 * ✅ Taken from source - quouted. Mattythewhite 22:15, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
 * " The 1937–38 season saw York City firmly placed on the football map, as the team managed to knock out First Division West Bromwich Albion and Middlesbrough in the FA Cup, before meeting Huddersfield Town in the quarter-final, which York drew 0–0 in front of a crowd of 28,123, (a record which will last for all time due to modern seating restrictions) but they went out of the competition after losing the replay 2–1 at the Leeds Road ground.[28][30]" is one sentence. Split.
 * ✅ Rewritten. Mattythewhite 22:17, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 1938–59
 * "make a profit in five." - again, a little out of context, and uncited.
 * ✅ Rewritten and cited. Mattythewhite 08:02, 4 December 2007 (UTC)
 * "...in fourth place with 53 points; new club records." - position and points? I'd clarify by saying "...points, both club records."
 * ✅ Reworded. Mattythewhite 08:02, 4 December 2007 (UTC)
 * "...the first Third Division club to participate in a semi-final replay,..." - presumably you're talking about the FA Cup?
 * ✅ Clarified. Mattythewhite 08:02, 4 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 1959–80
 * How did Jack Fountain fix matches?
 * ✅ Expanded. Mattythewhite 08:09, 4 December 2007 (UTC)
 * "Second Division" vs "Division Two" - be consistent.
 * ✅ ''Consistently used "Division Two". Mattythewhite 08:22, 4 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 1980–99
 * "also becoming the first team to do so" - do what? I assume you mean exceed 100 points...it's not clear enough.
 * ✅ Reworded. Mattythewhite 14:51, 4 December 2007 (UTC)
 * " four days later.This was " - space needed.
 * ✅ Space added. Mattythewhite 14:51, 4 December 2007 (UTC)
 * Lot of choppy sentences in this section. Look for independent copyedit to get a better flow.
 * "after having a heart attack " - suffering a heart attack?
 * ✅ Reworded. Mattythewhite 14:54, 4 December 2007 (UTC)
 * "A shrewd tactician" - again, is this a quote or WP:OR?
 * ✅ Quotation marks added. Mattythewhite 14:54, 4 December 2007 (UTC)
 * "Second Round" - suddenly capitalised. Check all instances of cup rounds are consistently capitalised, either way.
 * ✅ Consistently using lower-case now. Mattythewhite 14:58, 4 December 2007 (UTC)
 * Image:YCFC1993.jpg says not low resolution - it really is low res!
 * ✅ Changed to low resolution. Mattythewhite 15:02, 4 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 1999–present
 * "The play-offs were achieved" - odd phrasing.
 * ✅ Reworded. Mattythewhite 15:02, 4 December 2007 (UTC)
 * Let me know if I can help at all.A lot of hard work has gone into this article and I would like to see it promoted.Good luck--Harkey Lodger 18:11, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
 * You can certainly get involved if you wish! Mattythewhite 18:15, 3 December 2007 (UTC)

The club appointed Jock Collier as their player-manager in July 1928, becoming the first manager of the club. Still reads a bit odd.Maybe "In July 1928 Jack Collier was made the first player-manager of the club." would sound better? --Harkey Lodger 18:08, 4 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 1922–38

GA review continues
It's massively better than before, very close to GA in my opinion and shows good signs of being FA potential with some decent copyediting! As always, let me know.... The Rambling Man (talk) 17:37, 5 December 2007 (UTC)
 * Explain significance of NUFC in the first lead paragraph, e.g. "First Division Newcastle..."
 * ✅ Added. Mattythewhite (talk) 18:00, 5 December 2007 (UTC)
 * "York in this division, but made it to the play-offs in the 2006–07 season, but lost to Morecambe in the semi-final." in lead. Eh?
 * ✅ Rewritten. Mattythewhite (talk) 18:00, 5 December 2007 (UTC)
 * " The club appointed Jock Collier as their player-manager in July 1928, becoming the first manager of the club." - this is still confusing. You may need to explain why clubs didn't have managers traditionally back in the early 20th century.
 * ✅ Rewritten. Better now? Not certain... Mattythewhite (talk) 18:05, 5 December 2007 (UTC)
 * "played an FA Cup match with" - against?
 * ✅ Reworded. Mattythewhite (talk) 18:05, 5 December 2007 (UTC)
 * "(a record which will last for all time due to modern seating restrictions)" - no, you can't prove this, what if restrictions change and stands can be 500ft tall and seat 8 million?! Hyperbolic I know but you get what I mean?
 * ✅ Removed. Mattythewhite (talk) 18:07, 5 December 2007 (UTC)
 * Excellent job. GA now.  The Rambling Man (talk) 10:13, 6 December 2007 (UTC)

Assessment comment
Substituted at 18:01, 29 April 2016 (UTC)

Is and not Are - Hurrah!
Pleasantly surprised that the correct grammar has not been shot down by the usual suspects. WillE (talk) 20:09, 26 February 2017 (UTC)

External links modified
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External links modified
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External links modified
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I have just modified 41 external links on History of York City F.C. (1908–80). Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:
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