Talk:History of metallurgy in the Urals/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Scope creep (talk · contribs) 00:52, 19 March 2022 (UTC)

Review
Hi That is me started the review. I've added this wee template as it allows me to link the appropriate section of the review notes. I'll start by checking for copyvio.  scope_creep Talk  00:52, 19 March 2022 (UTC)


 * I've checked to see if there is copyvio with earwig and it seems to be ok. We've made a start.   scope_creep Talk  00:59, 19 March 2022 (UTC)
 * Excellent. Shari Garland (talk) 01:23, 19 March 2022 (UTC)

Lede

 * In the late history of Ural metallurgy When is that exactly. Can you state what period it covers. Perhaps move the "the 18th century" part to beginning of the sentence.
 * Changed. ✅
 * beginning of the 18th century stand out Why do they stand out? Its linked to the next sentence.
 * Changed. ✅
 * until the abolition of serfdom No dates on this, but why is that important? You need to explain what the abolition of serfdom led to and why.
 * Changed. ✅
 * 1913 1913 is the 20th century.
 * Changed. ✅
 * Revolutions and the Civil War Can you add dates to know when it was, i.e. Civil War of ...
 * Changed. ✅
 * Great Patriotic War Would that not be the second world war, possibly clarify it as the Eastern Front. I don't think anybody in the west would recognise that term.
 * Changed. ✅
 * old-creek method The source article doesn't mention that term.
 * Changed. ✅
 * Kontuaz forge Can you put a note in explaining what it is, as I can't find it anywhere on Wikipedia.
 * Changed. ✅
 * mineral fuel Perhaps use "Coke" instead, the traditional name for it.
 * Changed. ✅
 * I made the necessary revisions: explanations, sources, links, and additionally, figures. Shari Garland (talk) 19:42, 22 March 2022 (UTC)

Primitive metallurgy

 * first signs The first period?
 * Changed. ✅
 * dates back to this period Should not be something "began during this period"
 * Changed. ✅
 * served numerous nest deposits nest deposits. What does that mean? Is it a technical term?
 * Changed. ✅
 * deposits of copper sandstone Perhaps something like "deposits of copper in sandstone ore" or "copper deposits in sandstone"
 * Changed. ✅
 * The second millennium BC is "millennium BC was characterised"
 * Changed. ✅
 * the development "and the development"?
 * Changed. ✅
 * At the end of the 2nd-beginning of the 1st millennium BC "During the period from the end of the 2nd BC to the beginning of the 1st BC" It doesn't make sense at the moment.
 * Changed. ✅
 * most ore-rich upper horizons Don't understand at all. What are upper horizons. Is that the upper levels in the mine, possibly?
 * Changed. ✅
 * Trans-Urals This is redirect, not linked. Can you change to Ural Mountains.
 * Changed. ✅
 * Gorokhovo and Kara-Abyz cultures Is there no links for these.
 * Changed. ✅
 * constantly found By who? Would be not be better, with something, "iron products were found to be in use"
 * Changed. ✅
 * Western Siberia Can that be linked?
 * Changed. ✅
 * Pyanoborsk culture Can that be linked?
 * Changed. ✅
 * V. F. Genning Can you please use his first name. It is minor but it makes it easier to identify him later if it needs linked. I think its Vladimir Genning.
 * Changed. ✅
 * metal goods of Western European artisans "made by Western European artisans"
 * Changed. ✅
 * by the Ural metallurgists Is that really needed since the whole context about them. Seems quite formal.
 * Changed. ✅
 * Idnakar, Vasyakar, Dondykar, Kushmansky Are these linkable?
 * Changed. ✅
 * adobe furnace, which operated on forced blast Need a better explanation. Can find what it is, seems to be on Minecraft. Perhaps link to blast furnace.
 * Changed. ✅
 * prevail Is that the right word?
 * Changed. ✅
 * I made all possible revisions to this section. Shari Garland (talk) 21:18, 22 March 2022 (UTC)

The 14th to the 16th centuries

 * resources of the subsurface resources is a modern word, really modern in this context. Perhaps something like "subsurface deposits"
 * Changed. ✅
 * But in conditions of danger to the settlers from the indigenous population, industrial land development was practically not carried out Can you rewrite it, for example, "But when conditions were dangerous for the settlers, from the indigenous population, industrial land development...."
 * Changed. ✅
 * he also Also is not needed.
 * Changed. ✅
 * but with a ban on the use of "but was banned from using"...
 * Changed. ✅
 * Russia in the 16th century. during the. That means the whole century. Did it start in a specific time? Can you more specific.
 * Changed. ✅
 * local handcrafted "was locally handcrafted"
 * Changed. ✅

The 17th century
This section seems to flow better.  scope_creep Talk  17:07, 22 March 2022 (UTC)
 * constant basis Continual basis. Constant means never changing i.e. on the original event repeating. I sound like a pedant on this. Sorry.
 * Changed. ✅
 * 897 poods of traditional Traditional what?
 * Changed. ✅
 * bar iron Is that product name, or is iron bar?
 * Changed. ✅
 * French, German and Swedish experience That too ropey. I don't known what it means. Please be more specific.
 * Changed. ✅
 * John Water, and in 1626 Fritsch, Gerold and Bulmerr No links for these, perhaps on other wikipedias linked via the ill inter-language link template.
 * Unchanged. Links are not currently available.✅
 * Bergman brothers Who?
 * Changed. ✅
 * Only in 1635, the Saxon, Aris Petzold, and the Moscow merchant Nadia Sveteshnikov found two copper deposits, which became the basis of the first copper smelter in the Urals - Pyskorsky "Only in 1635 did the Saxon". Also who is the Saxon? No inter links for Nadia Sveteshnikov. No links for Urals - Pyskorsky.
 * Unchanged. No links can be found at this time for Saxon, Aris Petzold and Moscow merchant Nadia Sveteshnikov. ✅
 * Changed. I linked Pyskorsky to the Russian language version that is available. ✅

Mining factories
 scope_creep Talk  19:32, 28 March 2022 (UTC)
 * With the appearance of the first factories in the Urals and the establishment of production and economic relations between the authorities and the owners, pronounced features of a subsistence economy appeared: everything necessary to ensure production was prepared and carried out at the factories on their own. Can you split this. It is very long.
 * Nitsynsky (founded in 1630),[75] Krasnoborsky (1640), Tumashevsky (1669), Dalmatovsky Monastery Zhelezenskoye settlement (1683, the Kamensky iron foundry was founded on the site of the plant) and the plant in Aramashevskaya Sloboda Is there any way to link these to the place, but only if there is a meaningful article there.
 * Tula Can you link this?
 * blast-furnace plants were launched "blast-furnace plants were built". Launched sounds like a ship.
 * was given a high appraisal. Can you reword it. Grammer is wrong, possibly "given high praise for..." Why was it given high praise?
 * Tula blacksmith N. D. Antufiev Can you expand to his full name, minus initial."
 * And the date Seems to be just hanging about. Is the "and" needed.
 * and the river. "and a river" or "to the closest river"?
 * The supply of charcoal was provided by the vast forest dachas assigned to the factories. I don't think the dachas themselves provides the charcoal. Perhaps "people living in the dachas in the vast forest.... " or "inhabitants of the dachas in the vast forest areas...."
 * A specific feature of the Ural mining plants was the obligatory presence of a dam I think due to the amount of discussion of these ponds, they need their own subsection.
 * blast factories What are these exactly?
 * furnaces could increase "Would"
 * Pig iron Link it, if not already linked.
 * blast iron Correct this term to something in Wikipedia. I can't find it!
 * rule, the factory office, the manor house, the houses of the employees of the plant administration, and the church were located Can you rewrite?
 * of factories "of a factory". Singular
 * Subsequently, with the expansion of factories, such a layout became environmental stress on factory settlements, which gradually grew into cities Can your rewrite? Makes no sense.
 * Factory ponds, where industrial waste was dumped, were at the was?
 * Factory ponds, where industrial waste was dumped, were at the same time a source of drinking water, which contributed to the spread of all kinds of illnesses. Reorder, for example, "The main source of drinking water in the settlements came from the factory pond, where industrial waste was dumped and that contributed to the spread of all kinds of illnesses and disease".
 * one settlement: perhaps use "for example:" Pretty minor.
 * Yekaterinburg Can this be linked.
 * military settlements model Can this be linked?
 * Section. I think this section needs more sectionalised. 1 for the ponds, 1 for management of state-owned factories, 1 for As a rule, the factory office and one perhaps starting at "In total, about 250-260".

The 18th century

 * This is an even bigger section, that needs sectionalised.   scope_creep Talk  19:34, 28 March 2022 (UTC)
 * central and northwestern link, e.g. central
 * ore bases ore deposits?
 * Olonets and Kashiro-Tula plants in the central and northwestern parts of Russia had already depleted forest and ore bases and did not meet the growing demand for weapons-grade metal, and could not produce high-quality metal due to the presence of harmful impurities in the ores, primarily sulfur and phosphorus Split this.
 * from the smelting of non-ferrous Remove "the"
 * noble metals link.
 * non-ferrous link e.g. non-ferrous
 * After the defeat of the Russian troops at Narva on November 19, 1700, the Swedes Hazy. "After the defeat of Russia at the Battle of Narva on November 19, 1700, the Swedish army"
 * for accelerated production of guns "for the accelerated production of guns"
 * Peter I Link
 * Siberian order link. Same with Duma. Some people know what it is but some don't.
 * A.A. Vinius use the full name link "Andrew Vinius"
 * Verkhotursky district Anyway to link the location, so it can see where it is.
 * Demidov Can you link, perhaps say, "from Demidov". I see the one the above is linked. Can you change that to "from.."
 * Tula blacksmith Don't need to duplicate this.
 * The samples were highly appraised Reword? "When the samples were appraised, they were found to be of high quality" or something like that. Currently grammer is wrong and very terse.
 * Verkhne- Translation error?
 * N. D. Demidov Link to Nikolai Nikitich Demidov
 * volumes, with Doesn't need the comma.
 * Demidov easily achieved the registration of additional peasants to factories, as well as relaxation in taxes and supervision by local administrations Needs rewritten.
 * Since 1716 From?
 * than that of state-owned "than that of state-owned factories"
 * Chusovaya Link?
 * The first convoy arrived in Moscow in 11 weeks and 6 days, on July 18, 1703 "On July 18, 1703, the first convoy arrived in Moscow after travelling for 11 weeks and 6 days"
 * A. A. Vinius Expand to full name without initial.
 * terminated "stopped"
 * 1.6 thousand "1600" The can be used to format large numbers automatically.
 * registration I don't know what means. Perhaps a note is needed.
 * N. D. Demidov. Put the "Count Demidov"
 * You have linked state peasants. There is peasants. Is that linked? Perhaps that needs to be done first. Are they the same.
 * Middle Urals Link to section at Ural Mountains
 * Kamsky Urals Can it be linked?
 * Berg Privilege Can it be linke?
 * were exempt from the post of troops Reword
 * Is Berg Board the same as Berg Privilege?
 * V.N. Tatishchev Full name expand.
 * Georg Wilhelm de Gennin?
 * Yekaterinburg Link this. It is linked the image caption.
 * Tatishchev came into conflict with Demidov, trying to weaken his power at the beginning of his work in the Urals "Tatishchev came into conflict with Demidov, and tried to weaken his influence at the beginning of his work in the Urals". Is power the right word.
 * and Remove.
 * staffing standards. "improving staffing standards"?
 * then in Yekaterinburg the consumption of coal was 150–170 kg "those in Yekaterinburg consumed 150–170 kg of coal"
 * factories were established "was established" Possibly were. Check.
 * After the end of the Northern War, due to a decrease in demand for ferrous metals, the construction of iron smelters was suspended, mainly copper smelters were built Reword. "When the Northern War ended, demand for ferrous metals decreased and while construction of iron smelters was suspended, copper smelters were built".
 * From 1721 to 1725, 11 plants were built in the Urals, of which only Nizhny Tagil was blast-furnace and iron-making, the rest were either copper-smelting (Polevskoy and Pyskorsky), or copper-smelting and iron-making (Verkhne-Uktussky and Yekaterinburg) Reword. It is really stop and start.
 * compared to state-owned "compared to state-owned factories"
 * The growth of iron smelting in the Urals over 25 years (from 1725 to 1750) amounted to 250%: from 0.6 million poods to 1.5 million poods. Reword "Over the 25 years from 1725 to 1750, the growth in iron smelting increased by 250%, from 0.6 million poods to 1.5 million poods of iron".
 * Southern Urals link.
 * In 1734, Anna Ioannovna approved the project of colonization of the Southern Urals submitted by the Chief Secretary of the Senate, I. K. Kirilov, and appointed him the Chief Commander of the Orenburg expedition. Reword.
 * order to exclude the raids of the Bashkirs "in order to exclude raids by the.."
 * development of the natural resources of the region "develop the natural resources of the region"
 * In autumn of 1736 "In the"
 * Berg Collegium Is it different from above and can it be linked.
 * versts Does it need linked or note place. A note explaining what a verst equals. What is a versts?
 * During the years of the Peasant War Can you give the years?
 * With the beginning of the uprising "At the beginning..."
 * Southern Urals Link.
 * all plants in the Southern Urals (24 plants) Reword possibly?
 * The whole section is really rough. Once the main section is sectionalised it might be slightly better to split the section beginning "In the 1730s" into two.
 * Since the middle of the 18th "From"
 * since 1819 "From 1819"
 * Later When?
 * I. S. Myasnikov, and M. M. Pokhodyashin Find and link if you can, or to ru wikipedia using ill template.
 * in 1764 — the factories of Count Shuvalov, in 1770 — Count Chernyshev's, in 1781 — Count Vorontsov's Expand it without the bracker, for example, in 1764 — the factories of Count Shuvalov"
 * 74.1 thousand people 74100. Also 212,700.
 * at a distance of 5 to 25 versts "at a distance of 5 to 25 versts from the factory"?

The 19th century
This section is better written. It needs to be sectionalised. Its massive and really needs it.


 * rolling mills Link.
 * Lancashire hearth Link
 * Badaevskaya Possibly link to Russian?
 * since 1828 From 1828, perhaps move to the front of the sentence.
 * P. P. Anosov Expand as above.
 * A. F. Deryabin Is there is a Russian wiki link. Seems to be quite prominent.
 * closed due to the refusal of mints' coinage Reword. Refuse to accept the mints's coinage, possibly?
 * beginning of the century was reached only in 1826 Reword.
 * 853.4 m Can you put a convert template on it.
 * reached 73 units increased to 73 units?
 * Lancashire forges Link to Lancashire hearth possibly?
 * P. M. Obukhov Expand to Pavel Obukhov.
 * 18 meters Please add convert template
 * Crimean War Link
 * Already during the war, Weird phrasing?
 * were unsuitable were found to be unsuitable?
 * Since the 1820s From the 1820s
 * Expand Peter Tunner.
 * St. Petersburg Link
 * D. I. Mendeleev Link to Dmitri Mendeleev if not already linked.

The 20th to the 21st centuries

 * which is 30.9% "which was"
 * Southern Russia See if it already linked, if not link please.

World War I and Civil War

 * Another huge section that needs subsections.   scope_creep Talk  15:26, 31 March 2022 (UTC)
 * to coordinate the actions of private factories Several private factories on the same sentence. Reword?
 * After the defeat of the Russian troops in 1915-1916 What defeat?
 * The state of production continued to deteriorate "Production continued to deteriote"
 * Urals were liquidated Needs better wording.
 * since March 1918 "from"
 * Since 1918 From
 * At the same time, the Regional Government of the Urals was formed in Yekaterinburg, the Ural Industrial Committee was created to manage the industry, the Main Directorate of Mining Affairs of the Urals was established to manage the mining industry, which was transformed in December into the Ural Mining Administration Split this.

The NEP years and the first five-year plans

 * At least two subsection here, possibly three?
 * mineral fuel This is no longer linked. Perhaps link to Coke? Perhaps link Mineral Fuel and Coke on the "using the Mineral Fuel, Coke", or something like that so you have both definition.
 * Urals of Kuznetsk coke "Urals of Kuznetsk using coke"
 * was liquidated Perhaps they shot them all. Change to something more suitable.
 * 2nd five-year plans They were link on the wiki.
 * water packs and reverberatory furnaces have been water packs. What is that. "furnaces had been" Quite a lot of the tenses are wrong.

The Great Patriotic War

 * Could do with a several section, one of Martial Law for example.   scope_creep Talk  08:33, 1 April 2022 (UTC)
 * Pervouralsk Novotrubny plant Link.
 * design capacity was closed 4.5 times What does this mean?
 * I. P. Bardin Expand his name.
 * A. N. Zavaritsky, D. V. Nalivkin, and V. I. Luchitsky. Same with these.
 * No mention who A. E. Malakhov and V. V. Wolf are?
 * N. S. Siunov Expand.
 * invented a transformer Invented a new type of transformer
 * volume of production of defense equipment has grown sixfold "grew sixfold" Problems with tenses.
 * In total, the Urals produced about 40% of all military products of the country: 70% of all tanks (including 60% of medium and 100% of heavy), 50% of artillery pieces, and 50% of ammunition This is ok-ish but could do with rewordig. 2military products used during the war" and "during the war that included 70% of all tanks.." Perhaps too many included's but still doesn't read correctly.

Post-war era
"In the Ural metallurgical industry, problems with outdated equipment that was based on outdated technology aggravated...." Against what?
 * returned to their native places "returned home"
 * personnel at Ural enterprises "at the" "at the Ural plants"?? Change to plants. It seems to be the common name, if that of ok.
 * At most factories in the region, the equipment required repair and updating. Reword, grammer is bad here.
 * Ural metallurgy for the production of peacetime assortment was completed in 1946 Reword. Don't understand it.
 * Since 1948 From.
 * high-alloy steels Can that be linked.
 * natural gas Link
 * Nizhny Tagil Metallurgical Plant Is there a link for this, post it further up.
 * Since 1956, at the Nizhny Tagil Metallurgical Plant, and later at all Ural plants, oxygen enrichment began to be used, which made it possible to increase the productivity of open-hearth furnaces by 15-25% and reduce specific fuel consumption by 15-20% Reword "Starting in 1956 at the Nizhny Tagil Metallurgical Plant and later implemented at all Ural plants, oxygen enrichment began to be used". "This made it possible...." in a seperate sentence.
 * oxygen enrichment Link this.
 * electric steel What is electric steel? Reword possibly?
 * copper charge Is there no link or section on here? I would suprised if there isnt. roasting
 * sulfation roasting of nickel matte was introduced Can you put a note in explaining what this. I think its meaningless otherwise. There is a link. roasting along with it. There is a section in Nickel which can be linked to.
 * In the copper-smelting industry Starting in the paragraph, I would make these all bullet to spread them out.
 * The restoration and development of metallurgy Bullet this as well. Its very dense reader otherwise.
 * vanadium Link to Vanadium, if its not already linked.
 * Continuous casting This can be linked here. No need for the ill link.
 * Bullet all these as well.
 * mine deep horizons I think this is a Russian mining terms. Reword.
 * titanium alloys Link?
 * increased by 5 times "increased five-fold"
 * ferrous metallurgy enterprises I would change this to "ferrous metallurgy plants" since it seem to the common name, if that is agreeable.
 * pellets This can be linked to Pelletizing. Please check if it is the same thing.
 * Ural metallurgy "Ural metallurgy plants" or "Ural metallurgy industry" sounds better.
 * all-Union What is this?
 * USSR Expand this out at the top of the article, when its first introduced and give the acronym or link it to Soviet Union. If you the abbreviation, you must explain what it is.
 * outdated equipment park Is the park needed.
 * in the Ural metallurgical industry, problems with an outdated equipment park and extensive development based on outdated technologies have become aggravated
 * environmentally dirty "environmentally destructive"

Free or Tagged Images

 * Image templates are all tagged correctly with pd templates. Can you update the captions with dates, if available. For example, the "Map of metallurgical plants of the Urals" has a date of 1790 on maps.   scope_creep Talk  20:00, 31 March 2022 (UTC)

Pics Relevent

 * The image with caption "Nevyansky plant, early 20th century". Is that actually a plant there?   scope_creep Talk  20:35, 31 March 2022 (UTC)
 * The image with the caption "D. I. Mendeleev and P. A. Zemyatchensky (in the center) at the Kushvinsky plant, 1899" You link D. I. Mendeleev in the caption and Zemyatchensky is shown in centre, but there is no info where Mendeleev is.   scope_creep Talk  20:48, 31 March 2022 (UTC)


 * The rest of the image are ok. The only thing that needs is these two and updating the captions with dates.   scope_creep Talk  20:53, 31 March 2022 (UTC)

Discussion
I was thinking about this last night. I think it is probably best if you revert your changes and then we can make a start from the point above. Please take a look at Talk:Ludwig Ferdinand Huber/GA1 to see how each point is discussed in turn. The prose section is the longest part of the review. So lets make a start.  scope_creep Talk  15:01, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
 * I’ll see what I can do. I’m away from my computer for 5 days. You are welcome to revert the changes as well. Shari
 * Thank your for all your suggestions. I have made the changes you recommended. I think the article sounds significantly better. I look forward to the final review. Shari Garland (talk) 02:42, 28 March 2022 (UTC)
 * Your back. I'll start on the prose again later on tonight.   scope_creep Talk  17:13, 28 March 2022 (UTC)
 * Great. Shari Garland (talk) 17:51, 28 March 2022 (UTC)
 * Set the stable, it looks fine from the contro history. No edit wars.   scope_creep Talk  20:10, 31 March 2022 (UTC)
 * Good. Shari Garland (talk) 22:03, 31 March 2022 (UTC)
 * Due to current events I am no longer interested in improving this article. Shari Garland (talk) 14:54, 4 April 2022 (UTC)
 * Fair enough. I did notice you were not spending much time on it.   scope_creep Talk  15:00, 4 April 2022 (UTC)