Talk:History of the Rhodesian Light Infantry (1961–1972)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Anotherclown (talk · contribs) 10:32, 24 October 2011 (UTC)

Progression

 * Version of the article when originally reviewed:
 * Version of the article when review was closed:

Technical review

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 * Nyanga
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Criteria

 * It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS):
 * Lead
 * The first few sentences could possibly be tightened. "The 1st Battalion, The Rhodesian Light Infantry, commonly the Rhodesian Light Infantry (1RLI or RLI), was a regiment formed in 1961 at Brady Barracks, Bulawayo, Southern Rhodesia as a light infantry unit within the army of the Federation of Rhodesia and Nyasaland." Perhaps consider rewording something like this: "The 1st Battalion, The Rhodesian Light Infantry, commonly known as the Rhodesian Light Infantry (1RLI or RLI), was a regiment of the army of the Federation of Rhodesia and Nyasaland. Formed as a light infantry unit at Brady Barracks, Bulawayo, in Southern Rhodesia in 1961, the regiment served in the Rhodesian Bush War as part of the Rhodesian Security Forces between 1964 and 1979 under the unrecognised governments of Rhodesia and latterly, during the second half of 1979, Zimbabwe Rhodesia."
 * "...under the control of Lieutenant-Colonel Peter Walls...", consider "under the command of Lieutenant-Colonel Peter Walls."
 * "...such as Operations Flotilla and Excess (both 1968)...", perhaps "such as Operations Flotilla and Excess in 1968..."
 * "The nationalist incursions became fewer and further between after the two guerrilla armies suffered repeated setbacks against the security forces during the late 1960s, many attacks being countered by the RLI." Consider rewording to something like: "The nationalist incursions became fewer and further between after the two guerrilla armies suffered repeated setbacks against the security forces during the late 1960s, with many attacks being countered by the RLI."
 * Within the Federal Army
 * "Composed only of white recruits, the Rhodesian Light Infantry was formed within the army of the Federation of Rhodesia and Nyasaland at Brady Barracks, Bulawayo, on 1 February 1961." Consider reordering this sentence, as a suggestion: "The Rhodesian Light Infantry was formed within the army of the Federation of Rhodesia and Nyasaland at Brady Barracks, Bulawayo, on 1 February 1961, composed of white recruits only."
 * "The companies based up separately at the border towns...", consider "The companies were deployed separately in the border towns..."
 * "...RLI's deployment to resolve the violence, but the troops found on arrival...", consider instead "RLI's deployment to resolve the violence, but on arrival the troops found..."
 * Punctuation here: "The second was based on a dark green background and featured the regimental badge in its centre, surrounded by a wreath of flame lilies, Rhodesia's national flower, and topped as with the Queen's colour with the royal crown." Consider instead "The second was based on a dark green background and featured the regimental badge in its centre, surrounded by a wreath of flame lilies, Rhodesia's national flower, and topped, as with the Queen's colour, with the royal crown."
 * Reforming the RLI; the introduction of Walls and the road to UDI
 * "Commanding officer Lieutenant-Colonel R. A. Edwards convened a meeting...", consider "The Commanding officer, Lieutenant-Colonel R. A. Edwards, convened a meeting..."
 * Tense here: "...may issue a unilateral declaration...", consider "...might issue a unilateral declaration..."
 * "Edwards was replaced as commanding officer of the RLI on 1 December 1964 by Lieutenant-Colonel Peter Walls...", consider "Edwards was replaced as commanding officer of the RLI by Lieutenant-Colonel Peter Walls on 1 December 1964."
 * "The result of this reconstruction...", perhaps consider changing "reconstruction" to "reorganisation".
 * "comprised five troops of 25 men...", do you mean "comprised five troops each of 25 men"?
 * "two twelve-man patrols..." should probably be "two 12-man patrols" per WP:MOSNUM.
 * UDI: Rhodesia goes it alone
 * "local police commanders were at this time reluctant to sign control over to the army...", consider rewording as "local police commanders were reluctant at this time to sign over control to the army..."
 * "eight at 0245 hours on 25 September...", this should be "02:45" per WP:MOSTIME
 * Not sure what you mean here: "be to accepted or rejected in its entirety by each cabinet." Did you mean: "to be accepted or rejected in its entirety by each cabinet."
 * Early counter-insurgency operations
 * "7 Troop, 2 Commando arrived at 0720 hours..." should be "07:20" per WP:MOSTIME.
 * "0600 hours on 8 September 1967..." should be "06:00" per WP:MOSTIME.
 * "then an RRAF Flight Lieutenant..." this should be "flight lieutenant" per Manual of Style (capital letters).
 * "another gully at 1330 hours on 19 July...", should be "another gully at 13:30 on 19 July..."
 * "the operation ended at 12:00 on 26 July 1968."
 * "tossed phosphorus grenades over to mask their advance...", consider "tossed phosphorus grenades to mask their advance..."
 * "there remained eleven cadres at large...", should this be "there remained 11 cadres at large..." per WP:MOSNUM?
 * More attempts for settlement; the armed struggle stagnates
 * "Lieutenant-Colonel J. S. V. Hickman took over from Jack Caine...", should be "Lieutenant-Colonel J. S. V. Hickman took over from Caine..." per WP:SURNAME.
 * "The security forces set up a JOC at Mangula at 0930 hours on 19 January", should be "09:30" per WP:MOSTIME.
 * "and met the insurgents at 0730 hours...", should be "07:30".
 * "began the proceedings at 1035 hours...", should be "10:35".
 * Punctuation here I think: "After six days of haggling the Anglo-Rhodesian accord was signed on 21 November 1971." Consider: "After six days of haggling, the Anglo-Rhodesian accord was signed on 21 November 1971."
 * These are all complete now. ✅ Anotherclown (talk) 07:28, 26 October 2011 (UTC)
 * It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * Excellent us of WP:RS, with all major points cited.
 * Consistent citation style used throughout.


 * It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * Article is comprehensive and appears to cover all major aspects.


 * It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * a (fair representation): b (all significant views):
 * No major issues, however in a couple of places you might consider rewording a touch:
 * "vigilantly garrisoned separate areas of the country", probably better as "garrisoned separate areas of the country" ✅
 * "and was wiped out completely, the police killing all seven without taking casualties...", might work better just as "and was wiped out, the police killing all seven without taking casualties..." ✅


 * It is stable.
 * No edit wars etc.:
 * Sigificant recent work, however it all appears to be constructive.


 * It contains images, where possible, to illustrate the topic.
 * a (tagged and captioned): b (Is illustrated with appropriate images):  c (non-free images have fair use rationales):  d public domain pictures appropriately demonstrate why they are public domain:
 * Images all appear to be PD or licenced and seem appropriate for the article.
 * Excellent use of captions, which are supported by citations.
 * Alt text is of a high quality.


 * Overall:
 * a Pass/Fail:
 * This is an fascinating and detailed article which is close to meeting all the GA criteria IMO. There are a number of prose and a few MOS issues to be resolved, however they should pose no obstacle to promotion. Happy to discuss any points you disagree with. Anotherclown (talk) 10:57, 25 October 2011 (UTC)
 * I've implemented all of your suggestions. Thanks for your very helpful and thorough review, which was also rather prompt! Glad you enjoyed the article. I am presently working on part two as you may have noticed. —Cliftonianthe orangey bit 11:18, 25 October 2011 (UTC)
 * All my points have been addressed so I'm passing the review now. Well done and good luck with the next project. Anotherclown (talk) 07:28, 26 October 2011 (UTC)