Talk:History of women in Puerto Rico/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: SlimVirgin (talk · contribs) 15:12, 25 November 2013 (UTC)


 * Note = I just thought that it should be noted that the material posted from other Wikipedia articles were from articles which I also originally wrote. Tony the Marine (talk) 03:06, 27 November 2013 (UTC)


 * Hi Tony, thanks for clarifying that. While the material may flow well in the context of the other articles, it may not flow so well when parts of it are copied elsewhere. I see you've fixed the start of the Women from Africa section, but it's still a bit unclear. "The Spanish colonists, fearing the loss of their Taino labor force, protested before the Spanish courts." Why did they fear the loss of the Taino labor force? (By the way, "As an alternative, Friar Bartolomé de las Casas, suggested ..." – no comma after Casas.) In African immigration to Puerto Rico, there is an explanation before the sentence in question: "Friar Bartolomé de las Casas, who had accompanied Ponce de León, was outraged at the Spanish treatment of the Taíno. ... He fought for the freedom of the natives and was able to secure their rights." That explains why the Spanish colonists feared the loss of labour, but it's not explained in this article.


 * As well as checking on the flow, I think the main issue is to make sure that anything taken from off-wiki sources is rewritten or attributed in the text. I see you've made a start on that, which is great. I'll leave this on hold until the end of the seven-day period, but please ping me if there's something you want to discuss before then.


 * Just as an aside, you could use some commas in this sentence: "When Spain ceded the island to the United States after the Spanish-American War in accordance with the Treaty of Paris of 1898 Puerto Rico became an unincorporated territory of the United States or an American colony as defined by the United Nations decolonization committee." There are several ways you could do it; for example: "When Spain ceded the island to the United States after the Spanish-American War, in accordance with the Treaty of Paris of 1898, Puerto Rico became an unincorporated territory of the United States, or an American colony as defined by the United Nations decolonization committee."


 * Also, some typos in footnote 10: "Chronolgy of Hispnaic Americam History". SlimVirgin (talk) 01:44, 29 November 2013 (UTC)