Talk:Holly Steam Combination Company/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 20:37, 21 August 2020 (UTC)

Shall review this article. MWright96 (talk) 20:37, 21 August 2020 (UTC)
 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Pass/Fail:

Lead

 * "was an American company that was the first steam heating company" - try to avoid repetition of the same word in the same sentence
 * ✅--Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:29, 22 August 2020 (UTC)


 * Mention who Birdsill Holly was for the uninitiated
 * ✅--Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:29, 22 August 2020 (UTC)


 * Perhaps expand the lead to state what happened to the company in its final years
 * ✅--Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:29, 22 August 2020 (UTC)

History

 * "Birdsill Holly began working on a district steam system" - same issue as the second point in the lead section
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:49, 22 August 2020 (UTC)


 * " The following year Holly then constructed" - I don't believe the word "then" is needed here
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:49, 22 August 2020 (UTC)


 * "The system of 3 miles of supply" - how about using the undefined undefined template on the text in bold?
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:49, 22 August 2020 (UTC)


 * "This heating system had a greater energy efficiency than the method then in use of individual boilers to heat individual buildings. The new heating system concept attracted the attention of interested investors." - consider merging these two sentences together
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:15, 22 August 2020 (UTC)


 * "This heating system had a greater energy efficiency than the method then in use of individual boilers" - method of using
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:15, 22 August 2020 (UTC)


 * "The Holly heating systems first used wood insulated pipe.[9] The steam was distributed using high duty pumping engines.[10]" - perhaps merging these two sentences might help matters?
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:15, 22 August 2020 (UTC)


 * "He ultimately obtained over 150 patents by 1888 refining steam heat techniques and methods of distribution." - the text in bold might be better off placed at the start or end of this sentence
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:15, 22 August 2020 (UTC)


 * Wikilink Brush Swan Electric Light Company to the relevant article
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:15, 22 August 2020 (UTC)


 * "By 1894 the Holly steam systems had been installed in over" - more than
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:15, 22 August 2020 (UTC)


 * Maybe this source has additional information that can be inserted into the article?
 * ✅ Expanded article. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:23, 22 August 2020 (UTC)

Demise

 * "The Holly Steam Combination Company was reorganized in 1882. It became then the American District Steam Company (ADSC)." - these two sentences could be better off merged as one
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:39, 22 August 2020 (UTC)