Talk:Hormizd II/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Royroydeb (talk · contribs) 16:05, 7 April 2019 (UTC)

RRD (talk) 16:05, 7 April 2019 (UTC)

1. Well written:
 * The first sentence of lead needs to be rewritten. "the eighth king (shah) of the Sasanian Empire" must be changed to "Shah of the Sasanian Empire". Shah is primarily a title. Putting "the" before it reduces it to a post (ex. the president of India).
 * It would be better if you could copy the first sentence from Henry III of England and make the necessary changes.
 * "He was the son...." - It should be "He was a son of and the successor of.." . This change must be done if Narseh had more than one child.
 * The first sentence of second paragraph again needs to be rewritten / divided into two sentences.
 * The heading of the "Name" section should be "Etymology". The sole sentence of this paragraph needs to be rewritten.
 * "this may be his queen " - "this may be his wife".
 * "which forced him to surrender " - "forcing him to surrender".
 * "assuming a crown resembling the crown" - makes no sense.
 * "last years of his reign" - he reigned for two years only. What does "last years" signify here?
 * In succession section, the first "he" must be replaced by Hormizd.

2. Verifiable with no original research:

3. Broad in its coverage:


 * The name section must be expanded.
 * "started out as a cruel ruler but then became benevolent" -Explain.
 * The internal turmoil must be expanded.

4. Neutrality:

5. Stability:

6. Illustrated:

17:35, 9 April 2019 (UTC)


 * Think I've done most of what you asked. As for the internal turmoil part - it's very obscure, there isn't really anything else to write about it, since the only source we have is a rock relief by Hormizd II. Also, the cruel/benevolent ruler part is explained in the quote by al-Tabari. Btw, Hormizd ruled for 7 years. What do you think? --HistoryofIran (talk) 21:11, 9 April 2019 (UTC)
 * I have added more comments. Please have a look. RRD (talk) 16:52, 11 April 2019 (UTC)
 * What specific part(s) do you want me to add citations to in the offspring section? Also, I disagree on the "most likely" (or "probably" for that matter) part, as I've seen various GA/FA articles doing that without having to mention the certain author stating that. --HistoryofIran (talk) 20:37, 11 April 2019 (UTC)
 * All the offsprings must be cited. RRD (talk) 11:50, 14 April 2019 (UTC)
 * Done, anything else? --HistoryofIran (talk) 12:03, 14 April 2019 (UTC)
 * I will recheck soon. RRD (talk) 08:24, 16 April 2019 (UTC)